That's the way LOVE goes

Recovery

2012-01-21T23:43:00.000-05:00

I wrote this post mostly as a reminder to myself of Mila's first days home after surgery, since we will have to do another surgery down the road.

Mila has been home for 48 hours. The last two days have been interesting, challenging, and a great learning experience for all of us.
The first 72 hours they asked us to keep ice on her incisions to help minimize swelling. Her cast needs to stay elevated. She is on two different kinds of pain medication. Diaper changing is an entirely different experience.
Mila had her hamstrings and abductors tendons released. She has a 3-4" incision on both of her inner thighs in her groin area. These incisions are very close (if not on) to where her diaper rides. She has a good bit of bruising and swelling.

She tends to cry and whimper when she is going to be moved or have her diaper changed. I think most of her cries are out of fear, more than pain. She has a high startle reflex and fears of falling over, so I think the "unknown" of a new cast makes her feel even more insecure. She will ask to be moved, then when her Papa or I come to move her, she starts to whimper, say she's too scared and she'll just stay where she is.
There are all kinds of things I didn't think about having a big cast on that differs the way we do things at home. When she's sitting in the recliner, no big deal.

Bed time, she is currently downstairs in the extra bedroom and Papa is sleeping in the room with her, so that is a small adjustment. Bath time (or lack there of) and meal time has been tricky.

Mila typically sits in a Fischer Price Space saver seat at the table. With her legs so far apart, she doesn't fit in that well. We tried a couple things, but for now, we put her kids recliner in the kitchen next to the table and I feed her in that.
She cannot get her cast wet. One of the suggestions the hospital gave us to wash her hair was cutting a trash bag, putting it under her head while she was laying on the couch, and make a funnel out of the trash bag so when you poured water on her hair, it would right into a bucket you had put on the floor. That sounded like a disaster to me, so thankfully I was able to bring a Tumble Form chair home and rest it against the base of the shower. We used the hose of the shower head to wash her hair. (It was somewhat like a beauty salon wash bowl kind of set up.)
Diaper changing is entirely different. I'm working hard to be gentle since she is so scared that anything will hurt. When she gets scared, her muscles tense, which sometimes makes her feel heavier and harder to lift. Diaper changing takes me twice as long as it did before. We are learning how to improvise, be creative, and use muscles and maneuvers we didn't know we had.

She complains that her knee hurts, and when I ask, she always says it's her left knee that hurts. Then she asks me to check it, and asks "Mama, what can you do to make it feel better?" I can't see her knee because of the cast, nor do I know how to make it better. I'm hoping it's just a swelling issue and it will get better in a week or so.

View from Mila's chair towards the table.

Though the first two days have been interesting, we are all getting into a new pattern of "normal" for the next six weeks. I'm thankful that Mila is only 30 pounds at this point. I can't imagine when we have to do the next surgery. I'm thankful that God has lined up family and friends to help us while we all learn a new way for the next six to eight weeks.

Surgery day

2012-01-18T19:55:00.001-05:00

We arrived at the hospital at 6:30am and soon after went back to a pre-opnroom where we were visited by a intake person, a nurse, the Orthopedic surgeon, and the anestiologist. Mila was Dr K's first surgery of the day, so she went back to surgery on time, if not a few minutes early. While waiting before surgery, Milan kept taking about needing to go to the repair shop to get some repairs done. She told everyone who came into the room.

We gave her one final kiss goodbye and headed to the surgery waiting room. They hospital gives you a Id number and you can continually check on your child's status. Doug and I sat in comfortable recliners while we waited through Mila's two hour surgery. Doug even slept some. (Those that know him aren't surprised! He didn't snore too loudly!). The surgeon came out to tell us that surgery went well and she would be in recovery for about an hour. They gave us Mila's room assignment and we headed upstairs to wait for her.

We are in the new part of the hospital. This is our first hospital stay, but just om visits to some of my students, I am impressed with how nice the room is. Plenty of space for two parents to stay. The couch unfolds into a bed big enough for 2 people to sleep on and there is a nicer recliner.

Mila's arrived in her room around 12:30 or so. Boy oh boy are her legs spread far apart! She is pretty groggy and slept a good part of the afternoon. She has two decent incisions on either side of her groin. Anytime she moves, her eyes well up with tears. She had some I.v. fluids that she can get rid of as soon as she has something in her belly. Grandpa (a.k.a. Big Belly) and Grandma came to visit her. Hannah will be devastated. Just in the last week they have instituted the 'No visitors under 12'.

Around 3:00pm the nurse and nurses aid, both named Danielle (easy for when we needed someone!) came in to put tape and waterproof tape on the top rim of Mila's cast. She was at the end of her meds and she had swelled some, so tucking pieces of tape into the inside of her cast was painful, not to mention that she was rolled on her side with her right foot sticking about 18" up in the air!! After that ordeal and some tears, Mila was able to focus her energy on Grandpa and Grandma and "going camping". They love to pretend together and Mila always thinks of something they forgot to pack on their trip!
Grandpa and Grandma left around 5:30, and Papa stayed until 6:30. She's had chocolate pudding and is quietly asking me questions, and just told me she needed more medicine.
We'll wait for the evening nurse to come around and ask for a shorter iv support on her arm so that she can suck her thumb tonight, now that they have taken off the iv drip.
Thank you for all you love, prayers and support. We have definitely felt them today and know that it has helped this Mama's heart immensely!

Surgery Scheduled

2012-01-16T22:19:00.000-05:00

Last Tuesday I took Hannah for a doctor appointment, so I had the day to catch up on phone calls. One of those calls I made was to the Orthopedic surgeon's office. Back in August, Doug took Mila to see the Orthopedic doctor, and I fully expected him to come home and tell me everything was the same and they would see us in 6 months. Instead, he came home and told me the office would be calling us to schedule surgery. Augh!
The Orthopedics office has called twice and offered us a surgery date less than 7 days out because of a cancellation. One date was about two weeks after Elijah came home, and the other date was on December 22. So last week, when I talked to the doctor's secretary, she told me that she had two open dates for surgery- January 18th or February 16. If we chose the February date we needed to know that the doctor would be on call for the weekend, then out of town for the two weeks following the surgery date. If we didn't choose either one of those dates we would be looking at late March for surgery. So after weighing the options- considering the options of having a different doctor if something occurred was not appealing. (There is a doctor I am not impressed with after two of my students' surgery. I don't want to take the chance that doctor would be the one we would see.) Also, a later surgery date would mean that Mila would be in a cast for her birthday, and possibly while Doug is gone to Ukraine in the spring to bring Max home. So though the date was only 7 days out, we decided the 18th would work best.

So today, we took Mila to see Dr K for our pre-op appointment. He took x-rays to make sure things were as he expected. Then he came to talk to us and answer any questions we may have. He plans to make two incisions around her groin area and release the tendons in her hamstrings and abductors. She will be in a cast for six to eight weeks from her hips to her ankles, with a bar in between her legs. (we had first thought a cast from nipples to ankles.)

She will have 1-2 nights stay in the hospital to check for fever and swelling. Dr. K said the hospital team will set us up with transportation and wheelchair options that are best for Mila for the 6 weeks. No school for at least 3-4 weeks, then it is up to us and the school team to know what Mila and the school team can handle.
Dressing her is going to be interesting. There will be a bar between her legs, so pants will not work. The doctors suggestion was to take a cheap pair of sweat pants and rip out the inner seam, then put some Velcro in them.
Mila has been asking all kinds of questions-- can I go potty with my cast on? (She is finally taking an interest in going potty--figures!) What can I eat with my cast on? Can I still play with my cast on? Mama, can you carry me with my cast on? Can I take a bath? Today, she was telling Hannah that she gets to pick the color of her cast! Dr. K was telling her that there are all kinds of color options--including tie-dye and camouflage! Because she is so schedule oriented, we have been talking about surgery and casting since last week. She doesn't seem anxious at least at this point.
So, Wednesday morning, bright and early, we will head to Children's Hospital. Surgery is tentatively scheduled for 8:30am, needing us at the hospital at 6:30am. Though it's early, Mila won't have to starve thought half the morning before surgery. Thoughts and prayers for Mila are appreciated. Also, prayers for the entire family. This will be Mama and Papa's first major surgery. Prayers for Hannah and Elijah and Grandma and Grandpa who will care for them while we are at the hospital.

A Chritmas Recap

2012-01-02T10:59:00.000-05:00

What a Christmas holiday frenzy it has been!
We started the week of Christmas good. The girls and I had school Monday through Wednesday. Monday night we made and wrapped the teacher's presents and took them to school for everyone on Tuesday. Boy am I glad we did.
Tuesday evening, the girls were in bed and I hear Hannah asking Mila if she was okay (through the baby monitor). Upon arrival in their bedroom, I realized Mila had gotten sick to her stomach. After stripping her bed, giving Mila a bath, and redressing her bed, she was back to bed. Two hours later, she was sick again. So she moved to our floor for the night, and was up every hour or more. So no school for Mama or Mila on Wednesday. Thanks to Grandma, Miss Amy, and Uncle Mike, Hannah was able to go to school for her party on Wednesday.

Thursday and Friday were busy days since I hadn't wrapped a single present. There was plenty of time to cuddle with the kids and play. We made an attempt each day to call and talk to Max.

Saturday, we got up and called Max. You could tell in his voice he was sad. His winter break had started, and he knew what tomorrow would be. The second question he asked us was "what are you doing tomorrow?" We always go to church on Christmas Eve. So much fun to get the kids dressed in their Sunday best. It was a great chance for us to worship as a family. After church we have a tradition to get together between services. (My parents church has a 11:00pm service). We always have a good time together. With 8 children under 8, how can you not??

Christmas Day we got up and opened presents that were under our tree. Then we called and talked to Max. You could tell he was sad, knowing that it was Christmas Day. We tried not to talk too much about the day's activities we had planned. I kept telling myself, "this is the last year, there is an end in sight." We went to Doug's parents house for Christmas. Doug unwrapped the turkey fryer he has been talking about for over a year. Fried turkey was part of the Christmas Day menu! After many hours of playing with new gifts, it was time to head home and stop in at Grandma and Grandpa Ray's (Mila's words) to say Merry Christmas.

December 26th we were up and at it again. My side of the family (my sisters, parents, and the 8 grand kids--17 of us) get together to open presents. The tradition at Mom's house is to take turns opening presents, so opening gifts takes hours and makes Christmas last that much longer. After opening presents, Mike (my brother in law) made each of our own omelet. Amy calls these "Mike eggs".

The rest of the week was filled with an ENT appointment for me (gotta rule out the Ukrainian diagnosed "tumor"), therapy for the girls, a CAT scan for me (ENT reccommended) and a get together with friends for a "fried New Years eve". We fried onion rings, mushrooms, turkey bites, pickles, and green beans. We had a great time and so did the kids judging by the way my house looked at the end of the night!

Bring on 2012! We know that Mila will be scheduled for tendon release surgery this winter, which will involve 6 weeks in a massive cast. Max will receive amnesty in January. We have a interview with Canines for Companions for Mila in April, and Doug will make one more trip to Ukraine to bring Max home--forever. Doug is looking forward to returning to Ukraine, and there is a possibility that a friend of ours may be going with him.
We are looking forward to summer already. We hope to plan a trip to the beach!

Bloodwork

2011-12-15T21:44:00.000-05:00

When Elijah came home, we took him to the International Adoption Clinic. There he was evaluated and referred to various other specialist. We have been to see the Cardiologist, the audiologist, the DS Clinic, and had a swallow study done. He has had PT and OT evals (more on that in another post!!) We have referrals for genetic testing, the ophthalmologist, and a sedated Echo to be done.
One of the many tests they did was to check Elijah's thyroid levels. When the initial results of all his blood work came back, his white blood cell count was low as well as his thyroid levels. The doctor asked us to redo those two tests to see if the results came back any different. Last Monday, Doug took Eli to have the second round of blood work done. Dr. Powell called again today to say that Elijah's thyroid levels are still low. He is impressed to see that he has gained weight since we have been home, which gives him hope that his thyroid is working, even if minimally. We have to re-do the blood work again in mid-January. If the levels are still low, he will then refer us to an endocrinologist.
Eli is as happy as can be. His sisters love him to pieces. Mila asks daily "where's Eli?" and "Is Eli going with us?" (Like there is an option!) Hannah's favorite thing is to give him a bottle.
The girls ask daily if it's a day that we can call and talk to Max. We can't wait until Christmas break where we can call him daily if we like!!

Fall fun

2011-11-25T23:36:00.000-05:00

Not feeling it....

2011-11-23T22:25:00.000-05:00

The holiday music has begun. The stores are advertising heavily. The black Friday ads were hung on our mailbox today. Yet, I'm not the slightest bit ready to celebrate Thanksgiving or Christmas emotionally.
Every time I think about Thanksgiving and Christmas, I think of our family--immediate and extended around the table. So many people, so much to be thankful for, and yet, every time I picture this, I feel the tears welling up inside me. One of the members of our family, our official family, is thousands of miles away. Alone. Apart from his family. For this reason, I have seriously debated holing up in the house on Thanksgiving and Christmas. I'm afraid I will be no fun to be around. I'll be spending the day thinking of our teenage son, fighting back tears, and be a bear to be around.
To say it simply- It's not fair. My kid made a mistake. A mistake that here in America, as a juvenile, he would have been turned over to his parents and given a stiff warning. Possibly some community service. In his country, they talked about putting him in prison for three years. For stealing something in order to buy food, because he was hungry. Instead of prison, he's on probation. He's not allowed to leave the state. My son is no angel, I'm perfectly aware of that. But why, if a kid is nuisance, wouldn't you be happy to get him out of your hair? Out of the country? But instead, he has to stay.
When we talked to Max last weekend, he sounded very down. I could hear the despair in his voice. He was on such a high in September. He was going home--forever. Someone was actually coming for him. Coming to make him a part of a family. A forever family. He is a part of our family. He legally has our last name. But he is stuck in another country.

As I think about our boy, he has to spend another Thanksgiving, another Christmas, and another birthday away from his official, legal family. It stinks--really stinks. Then I think about all the other kids at the orphanage. At least Max has hope--hope in knowing this is his last Thanksgiving, his last Christmas, and his last birthday at the orphanage. There are 160 other children there that have lost hope of ever finding a family. The kids are older, unwanted, maybe not even registered to be adopted because of some clerical error.
I'm not sure who Christmas will be harder for this year- Max, or the other children. Max knows it's his last in Ukraine, but he also understands the fun, family, and joy that Christmas brings. And he's stuck. He's missing Christmas with his family. The other kids don't understand what they are missing, yet as Max shares about what Christmas (and birthdays) are like with a family, those children have little hope of ever having the opportunity to know the love of a family to celebrate with.
I think about the kids in the orphanage. Everything is community property. There is a closet in Max's room that he shares with 5 other boys. Each day, those boys go to the one closet in the room, and wear clothes that are in the closet. The clothes may be a little big, possibly a little small, but that's what is in the closet. He has a shelf with his name on it. This shelf holds a bar of soap, a toothbrush, and toothpaste that is his. That's it--something that is all his and not community property.
So please excuse my under-excited attitude about Christmas presents this year. Another trip half way around the world has again reminded me how fortunate we are. We may have only $5.00 in our pocket, and have "nothing to wear" though our closet is full of clothes. Our children have countless toys and a dresser full of clothes. The presents we will purchase will be the "favorite" for days/weeks, then will become one of the many other toys that sit on a shelf. My children, my family have warm food in their bellies each day, a roof over their head, someone to kiss them, reassure them, support them, and love them. Oh how I pray for those who do not have these simple joys, those joys we take for granted.
So if I seem a little be-humbugish, there's the reason. I'm just not feeling it this year. I would rather have nothing under the tree this year. I would rather be in a stark, dank orphanage room with my son and my family, just enjoying being together. He's not the only one wishing time would pass quickly so that his "forever family" would be together again.

Patterson Family adoption fundraiser

2011-11-12T14:05:00.000-05:00

I have been following the Patterson family blog for over two years. Their daughter Chrissy was adopted from the same orphanage as our sweet Mila!

God grew the Patterson family from 3 kids to 10 (soon to be 12 kiddos) in less than 3 years. In 2007, the Patterson's had three biological children (ages 9,11, 7) at home. In 2007, God called their family to adoption! What a journey it has been! And now, today, in 2011, they have 10 children, with the countries of Haiti, Columbia, Serbia, and the US represented in their family. The Patterson's have paperwork in Ukraine, hoping to adopt two boys they hosted last summer. Soon, they will be a family of 12!
The Patterson's are selling awesome t-shirts, sweatshirts, tote bags, and window decals to help fund their trip to Ukraine to bring the boys home. They hope to travel before Christmas!

God on over to Lorraine's blog and check out all the cool gear and help a family bring their boys to the forever home!

Van fairy

2011-11-11T22:24:00.000-05:00

Oh, how I wish there was a van fairy. You know, a little fairy who instantly knew when you had outgrown your current vehicle. And if you put your keys under your pillow at night, he/she would come and replace your keys with another set to a larger version of the van you had before.
In the summer of 2009, right before we traveled to Ukraine, we realized our Toyota 4Runner was not big enough to hold two girls and two strollers when we wanted to go places as a family. So we bit the bullet and bought a mini van.

And now, a little over 2 years later, it feels as though we have outgrown the mini van! The saying always goes "if I had known what I know now....", yeah well, I'm feeling that way right about now!
Before we adopted Mila we had no idea that she would be a wheelchair kind of kiddo. I guess we took for granted that Hannah has CP and so does Mila, and not all CP kiddos are cut from the same mold. Hannah has graduated from walker to walking independently. Though she uses a medical stroller for long distances (like a trip tot he zoo), most short distances, like down the school hallway, she is walking independently. Mila on the other hand, utilizes a wheelchair for most outings, both school and leisure.

Our van has worked well with two children as we have typically kept the back seat folded into the floor and used the back space to roll Mila's wheelchair in and have Hannah's stroller if needed. Now, with Eli home, we need to have the third row seat up for the third child. Even though our van is 2 years old, the 3 row seat is not split 60/40. It's all or nothing up/down. So now, with the third row seat up, we have the well behind the third row to put the wheelchair in.

If you were to see me trying to get Mila's wheelchair out of the van in the school parking lot, you might think I was part of a stunt double take during a movie! Or, maybe it would be better fitting on America's Funniest Home Videos. Her's the one time I'll say it, I'm short....short enough that trying to get Mila's wheelchair out of the back of the van with the wheels on is no fun at all. SO, I take the wheels off. So now each day when I take the wheelchair out of the van, I have to put the wheels back on it before putting Mila in it. And after I put her into the van, I pop the wheels off the wheelchair, hoof the frame into the back of the van, then put the wheels in. This is all fine and dandy when the weather is nice, but once the winter slush begins, I'll be a wet mess on a daily basis!

We've been looking for options. There are plenty of lifts/hoists, but most utilize the space in the third row for the lift. If we take the third row out, we can't travel as a family. If we put the lift (there is only ONE option that will work with our van and leaving the third row up) in, we will never again be able to put the seat down. The other bad part is, with the seat up, we can only fit Mila's wheelchair in the back, so there is no room for Hannah's medical stroller or a stroller for Eli. OY, gracious!
We've looked at other vans with a 60/40 split back seat, but I'm not sure that's the best option. The lift sounds okay, but I'm wondering how long it will be until her wheelchair is too big to fit in the back well of the van. Is it really time to go to a 12 passenger van?

I'm spoiled that my van is in a garage. Our garage is not attached to our home, so I typically make three trips out tot he car each morning, but at least I'm in the garage while putting children in the van and fastening seat belts. If we go to a 12 passenger van, it will no longer fit in the garage. :( I'm also spoiled that y current van has automatic doors and back hatch. It is very nice to get Mila under the back hatch and keep her dry while putting her in or taking her out of the wheelchair.

Is it too much to ask for the van fairy to come and make all my dreams come true so that our family can all ride together and have space for the many seating needs of my kiddos? If he/she promises to come, I'll leave MY van keys under my pillow!

Family of 5- week 1

2011-11-05T15:52:00.000-04:00

Family of 5, week 1 has flown by! Where does time go? Oh, yes, there is one more to feed, bathe, and play with!
Doug, Karen, and Eli arrived home Thursday evening after a 2 hour delay in Washington DC.

This is how Hannah entertained herself while waiting on Papa to arrive--drive Mila's wheelchair!

When they finally arrived off the plane in Columbus the girls were beside themselves. Mila was so excited to see Papa, and Hannah to meet her little brother. Eli was sound asleep on Papa's chest in the Baby Bjorn. We got their luggage and headed home. Eli slept all the way home in his car seat. When we arrived home, Mila was horribly upset, saying "I thought Eli was going to play with me!"

Friday morning was Eli's first trip to Grandma's house. He willingly went, seeing her as another "Mama" and had no problems. The girls had Botox injections Friday morning. We stopped at the pet store on the way home to play with puppies, then picked up pizza to eat with Grandma and Grandpa.

Sunday we celebrate my Aunt Judy's birthday, so the entire family was at Mom's house. Our little man was happy and easy going. Then the three kiddos got dressed up and we went trick-or-treating in Ashville.

Brutus Buckeye

Brutus and a black kitty cat

Bath time takes longer now. I now have two kiddos who get out of the tub willingly when the water is all gone! Thankfully Hannah will bathe and willingly give someone else a turn!

Monday, the girls returned to school and I took the day off to stay home with Elijah. We had some good Mama bonding time while we vacuumed the floor and straightened up the living room. We went to Grandma and Grandpa Layne's house for the afternoon. Even on a 45 minute car ride, Eli was pleasant and happy.

Tuesday Mama went back to school, so Eli was at the babysitter; Amy's house or at Grandma's. Wednesday I had to stay after school for Parent Teacher Conferences, so Doug got the experience of trying to feed two kiddos dinner himself! He did quite well, but was amazed how much energy it took out of him!
Friday, Elijah had his first doctor appointment. I took him to the International Adoption Clinic at Columbus Children's hospital. It is a nice place to go to get baseline information and be referred to all the specialists your kiddo will need to see. He got a TB skin test and a Flu shot. My poor boy knows what needle is before it pokes him--he started crying before it touched his skin. We came home with vials to collect stool samples--(my favorite part YUCK!) to check for any parasites.

Look at that belly!

The evaluations he had done determined he was behind developmentally. REALLY?! The people at the clinic were hesitant telling me. It was quite comical to hear them. I was totally aware that Elijah was behind developmentally. First, he has Down Syndrome, so he's going to learn slower. Second, he spent the first 17 months of life in an orphanage.
Last night, for the first time, Elijah fell asleep on my chest. He loves to be held and allows you to interact with him. When someone holds him, it is almost stimulating to him, rather than calming at this point. He will let me rock him, but he generally "talks" to me the entire time. Last night while watching TV together, he cuddled up on my chest and fell asleep.

This Weekend many churches around the world celebrate Orphan Sunday. Our pastor has asked Doug and I to share our adoption testimony. We will be sharing tonight at the Saturday night service as well as both services tomorrow.
We were able to talk to Max this morning on the phone and this afternoon via Skype. We are so thankful for Nate and Diana Medlong, who have opened their hearts and home to our son.

They went to pick Max up on Friday to stay with them for the weekend. He has helped Diana shell chickpeas, visited Diana's family with them, and will go to church tomorrow with them. Though we can be hands-on parents for max in the next few months, it is so good to know we can talk to him and see him. Nate and Diana will take good care of him, I have no doubt. This weekend they are working on homework with him and reiterating how important it is to do homework. Thanks Nate, thanks Diana!

Last day of trip #2

2011-10-26T22:05:00.000-04:00

The second appointment went well at the US Embassy in Kiev. Our younger son now has a Ukrainian passport to leave the country and a US visa to enter his new country!
Doug and Karen will start their journey as many of us are headed to bed. Their flight leaves Kiev at 6:45am, which is 11:45pm Ohio time. They arrive in Munich, Germany at 8:10am (2:10am Ohio time) and leave Munich at 11:30am (5:30am Ohio time) and arrive in Washington DC at 2:45pm. Their final leg home to Columbus will leave at 5:00pm and get them home right after 6:00pm.
Today, every time I thought about Elijah coming home I got butterflies in my stomach, and got excited. Then almost instantly, my stomach went to knots, thinking about our other son who has to stay in Ukraine. He's MY son. He has OUR last name, and yet he has to stay in another country. I know we have little control over the situation, but it feels horrible leaving one son behind.
I know that when a child is in the process of begin adopted, other children at the orphanage are jealous. Why wouldn't they be? One kiddo is being visited daily, doted over, getting special treatment, candy, and undivided attention. Others sometimes tease and make fun of the kiddo being adopted out of spite. The child, in this case; our son, was counting down the days, asking when he would be going to America. He could see the light at the end of the tunnel. He knew the end was near. And then, as soon as the end was near, a detour was put up that would take him a different direction, and take a long time to get home. He had counted the days. And now, the countdown will take much longer. I'm sure the teasing has continued. Kids can be so mean. I pray that my son can rise above the meanness and jealousy of others.
I pray that the next six months pass quickly. I'm ready to be a mother of 4. Our teenage son....the one who stated our adoption journey in the beginning...will be home with a family that loves him very much. Christmas and birthdays have been hard before, and I have a feeling on both sides of the world, they will be even harder this year. With God's grace, we will be able to look back on these next six months and say "that wasn't so bad....time went quickly."
Hurry home boys. There are three girls at home anxiously awaiting your arrival!

Kiev-appointments, day 1

2011-10-25T20:22:00.000-04:00

       Okay this could be interesting. I'm trying to type one handed because someone little has figured out he's not at the orphanage anymore and when I put him down he just cries. It just breaks my heart. So he is still awake fighting going to sleep like a real champ.
       Nikko met us at the train station and helped us with our bags. After a not so good breakfast at the McFoxxy we left for the U.S. Embassy. When we arrived at the Embassy, I filled the remainder of the paper work out and then headed we to have Eli's medical evaluation done. Once there, we waited for a bit to see the doctor and ran into another RR family, the Hinz's, who were finishing up too. It's always nice meeting other families on the same journey as you. The Hinz family adopted a little boy from the region next to ours. We shared the same lawyer/facilitator. The Hinz family adopted an adorable little boy whom we have prayed for for two years. Our family was Sterling's prayer warrior. Two years in a row when Hannah and I attended our church's annual prayer vigil for orphans and foster families, Hannah would take his picture off the fridge and take ti with her to the prayer vigil. She would pray for Sterling, that soon a family would come for him so that he wouldn't be an orphan anymore. Her prayers have been answered!
       So we went to our apartment next and got settled in. My other newly adopted son calls me only its from another number that I don't recognize. I answer. He says,"Pop its me, Max; call my phone." So I do and get this message that "the caller is unavailable, please send sms or try back later." I call the number that he called from to get to me and he answered the phone. I asked him what was wrong with his phone, and he tells me the SIM card is missing. I asked "What are you doing messing with your sim card, it should stay put in the phone". Max said a friend needed to call his grandmother so he let him borrow his SIM card, and now it is lost. I asked him why not just let him borrow the whole phone, and he didn't have a good answer. I told him that I couldn't fix this for him now since I was in Kiev, and that he needed to use his head a little better. He could I was disappointed in him, and I was was, but I really reinforced that I love him no matter what. That I was angry with him, but I did want him to make good decisions. He apologized and said that they would keep looking for it. About a half hour later, I get another call. This time from his number, on the SIM card that I had bought for him. He was happy to tell me that they found it.   I never found out where it was lost at, and I probably don't want to know. Its a whole different world in an orphanage. I try not to hold to much judgment on him. It's a rough life, and it just got a whole lot tougher on him. The boy who was going to America, the one who started getting harassed because of others jealously now has to live with those same boys. I know he gets picked on and even beat up a lot there. His care takers have told us this. I'm sure now the 'boy with the bump" as they call him is getting even more ridiculed. It's no wonder he let someone else borrow his SIM card. The disappointment of me was probably far easier than the fist of another. He has called me three more times tonight. Its great to hear his voice. I make sure to tell him every time how I love him, and that he just needs to hang in there a little longer, and that he does have a Mama and Papa now. I tell him that I promise, I'm coming back for him.
Elijah had his first bath today. We only filled the bathtub with very little water. At first he wasn't sure what to think and I held him up in a sitting position or on his back while I washed him. After I finished washing him, I rolled him on his tummy and he was quite happy playing in the water, giggling when he splashed.

I'm only finishing this post because Eli finally went to bed. 11:57 was the magic number. The dreaded second night. It's always the worst. I was hoping he was going to be different. Boy was I wrong. He finally realized that he wasn't in the orphanage any more. I kept getting this look as he crying, kinda like he was saying "Papa you're a pretty cool guy and all, but your really not the one I want right now. Take me back "home"! Where's my Mamas?" Finally after many times of waking up when I layed him down after he fell asleep in my arms, he finally relented. The good news is that he was up long enough to talk to him Mama and his sister for the first time. I know the girls had a great time seeing more than just photos of him.
Tomorrow we have our second Embassy appointment, and I will probably have my last post. This has been fun, though at times it more emotional than I ever thought it would be. It just seems that once you start talking about your day, your feelings just start blurting out. I guess it is kind of therapy in its own way, even if the rest of the world knows now......

Bitter Sweet

2011-10-24T14:48:00.001-04:00

Large play pens in the groupa room.

Today T picked Doug up around 11:00am and took him to the orphanage to pick up Eli. When they arrived at the orphanage, the doctor told Doug that Elijah's mother came to the orphanage on Saturday and left a gift for us. She was very happy that her son was being adopted by a family. She also left her address and email address and asked us to keep in touch with her.

Elijah's birth parents gave up their parental rights at birth. We have no doubt that his parents had a hard decision to make when he was born. In Elijah's country, there is no assistance for children with disabilities. The country is no accessible to children/adults in wheelchairs. There are no special education programs for children. We have no idea how often Elijah's mother visited, or if she just came because the orphanage called and told her he would be leaving. It is nice to know that now she can be proud of her son and the accomplishments he is making once thriving in a family.

Play area in his groupa room. A couple of times we saw Eli in the exosaucer when we arrived for visits.

His name on the end of his crib.

The crib in his groupa room.

Little man at the apartment on the day Papa sprang him from the orphanage.

Once they had said their final goodbyes to the orphanage staff, Doug and Elijah took one last walk out of the building.
On the way back to the apartment, a stop was made to pick up Elijah's passport and get pictures for Elijah's Visa at the Embassy.

Brothers enjoying one another.

Grandma had stayed at the apartment this morning with Max. When they got back, both Grandma and max were glad to see Elijah and play with him. They called home to Ohio at 6:19am. Mama had just woken up, so she quickly got ready for school, then had a chance to Skype with the boys. Max is so gentle with his little brother. Elijah was happy to be the center of attention and chew on his pacifier. He played with his hands and cooed a little while we talked.

Brothers.

About an hour after Doug arrived home with Elijah, Nate and Diana came to take Max back to Loubityn. I'm sure the ride was quiet and Max sat very close to his Papa, most likely with his arm wrapped around his Papa's.
Once they arrived at the orphanage, they waited on the director. She was surprised that T was not with them. After some discussion between the director and Diana, the director asked if Doug would write a note as Max's father allowing Nate and Diana to take Max out of the orphanage as they like until we return. Doug said this time when he signed his name, it didn't feel so good. In a way, he was acknowledging that he couldn't be there for Max and be the parent he wants to be for the next six months.
They took Max back up to his groupa room. His "Mama" Olga was there and Doug gave her the pots they had purchased for her. After that, they walked down to the Life International wing and introduced themselves to the staff. Nate and Diana are going to encourage max of what a great opportunity it is to have Life International at the orphanage. These adults could be an encouraging factor in Max's life while living at the orphanage. At one time Max was very involved with Life International. One employee told us that once max's best friend moved away, he stopped coming because he felt alone.

Once Doug got back to the apartment, Eli was taking a nap. Grandma had fed him lunch while Papa was gone, and with a full belly, he napped well. Grandma thickened his liquids and gave him all the time he needed to eat his lunch. She said it took him 40 minutes to eat--a lot different from the quick 10 minute big spoonful shovel they use at the orphanage.

They finished last minute packing and headed out for the train station for the overnight train ride to Kiev. I'm sure pulling out of the train station was bittersweet. Leaving one son behind, and taking one. I remember being emotional leaving Odessa in 2007. We were leaving Hannah's homeland. We were leaving the only country she ever knew. I hope that Elijah sleeps soundly on the train tonight. They have a busy mornign tomorrow.
They will arrive in Kiev tomorrow morning around 6:30am. They will have the first embassy appointment tomorrow morning to turn in their paperwork and hopefully have a medical appointment. Our prayer is that the medical is uneventful and smooth.

Everyone is still on track to arrive home on Thursday evening. Doug, Karen, and Elijah will begin their long journey home before we head to bed on Wednesday evening and arrive home a little after 6:00pm Thursday. A total of over 24 hours traveling with layovers!

Last night

2011-10-23T21:07:00.000-04:00

Tonight is the last night for both of our boys.
For Elijah, tonight is the last night he will ever sleep in a room crowded with rows of cribs. Tonight is the last night he will be put in bed without a good-night kiss. Tonight is the last he sleeps with other children. Tonight is his last night as an orphan. Tomorrow, Papa will arrive at his baby house, sign some papers, dress him in the clothes Mama sent for him and bundle him up to go outside. Tomorrow is the last day Papa has to turn in his passport. Tomorrow, Papa will take his son and walk through the orphanage gates. Tomorrow one small little boy will begin to see a whole new world.

Tonight has a very different feel for our older boy. Though tonight seems like a "last night", his time is only temporary, and soon, he too will have his "last night". Tonight is the last night that Max will be sleeping at home. Tonight, he sleeps on a fold out bed in Doug's apartment. He is in his own clothes. He has taken a hot shower as often as he likes, for as long as he likes. Tonight Max got to choose what he had for dinner, rather than being served what is on the menu. Tonight is the last night that Papa will say "Good night, I love you". Tomorrow, Max returns to the orphanage. He becomes one of many that a "Mama" has to watch over. Tomorrow he will be back to sharing a bedroom with 5 other boys and have 1 small shelf to himself. Tomorrow, he will be back to sharing all his belongings. My prayer is that max realizes that the orphanage is just his temporary home. We will all be counting the days until Doug can return to bring him home.

As I sit here tonight in a quiet house, with my two girls tucked into bed, I struggle with what tomorrow brings. Tomorrow is such an emotional day for both boys. Our little boy has no idea what tomorrow brings, what opportunities and love awaits him. Our big boy fully understands what lies in front of him. Max understnds what he will be missing out on for the next six months.
I'm sitting in the bedroom that will be Max's. There is no bed in his room. Four years ago, we were so excited about bringing home a son, that we went out and purchased bunk beds. When we came home from Ukraine in 2007, we had a 3 year old little one that needed a crib. I remember crying as we took down the beds. All our hopes and dreams for our boy were lost. And now, here I sit in an empty room. We were hesitant to fill his room--to get our hopes up again. And tonight, I realize once again, that we will soon have or son home, in his room...forever. No more short trips. No more "I'ma no Ukraine". Very soon, he will be home, forever.

Tomorrow will be a horribly emotional day for Doug. He needs our prayers as he begins a new life with Elijah, and says good bye to Max once again. Though he knows his goodbye is only temporary, it will hurt all the same.

As Doug has struggled through these last 10 days with ever changing decisions, last minute changes, and trying times, we have continued to pray, placing our trust in God. He has the ultimate plan, though it may at times seem like one crisis after another. In Joel 2:13 it says "Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity. Joel chapter 2 reminds us that with every life crisis comes an opportunity to re-focus our life. Every "mini crisis" in this adoption is just a small, and perfectly planned bump in God's path for us.

I have enjoyed reading Doug's blogs while he has been in Ukraine, reading the scripture that is on his heart that day. He has such a love and passion for the Lord and for his family. His greatest desire is to set the orphans in families as God commanded, and he is doing just that.

Two cities, one blog

2011-10-22T22:02:00.000-04:00

(written by Cara)
This morning in Ukraine started long before than the girls and I woke here in Ohio. Nate picked Doug and Karen up and headed out to Loubityn to pick up Max. When they arrived at the orphanage, they found Max in his dormitory (which is untypical for our Saturday visits...we typically have to track him down!) Max's groupa Mama, Olga, who was working the last time we took Max out for the weekend was there. She told Doug that he could keep Max until Monday, since it is fall break. Doug signed the paper saying that he would care for and look after him while he was out of the orphanage (ha!). She wrote down Doug's phone number and the address where he was staying as well as taking Nate's number and address.
Max was proud to show Nate and Karen around the orphanage grounds. Around the back of the orphanage, they have a place to keep animals. When Doug and I were there in September, there was a herd of cows that would graze the grounds around the outskirts of the orphanage. Today when walking around, they stooped to see the horses that had returned. (Big, Percheron looking draft horses) There was a foal, so everyone stopped to observe for a while.

Once back in Kharkov, they stopped to look for a cell phone for Max. Nate had done some research on phones, and they were looking to get Max a cell phone from a particular company because Nate, Diana, and Anya all have the same cell phone provider, so it will cost Max little to nothing to call any of them. They looked several places to find the best deal, stores, open air market, and in a Metro station. While at the open air market, Doug found a couple large pots that a teacher had asked for and some yummy and cheap fruits and veggies.
After some shopping, they went to pick up Daina at the apartment and went to La Cucuracha for lunch. After lunch one more stop to look for the best priced cell phone, sim card (you have to buy the sim card separate in Ukraine, which have several options for plans depending on what Sim card you buy). Nate and Doug found the phone Max had wanted in the color he had wanted for a cheaper price. Max had waited int he car, so Doug was able to surprise Max. The smile on Max's face was worth all the searching.
Next stop was the Rost market to purchase diapers, wipes, baby food for Mr Elijah as well as some standard groceries. Then back to Nate and Dianan's for some lunch. Nate made pizza, and Diana and Max made salad. (Ukrainian salad is tomatoes and cucumbers). Beth Nate and Diana were impressed at how much Max smiled, how at ease he felt, and how well mannered he was. Nate took some time to put music on Max's phone--including Chris Tomlin.
Upon arrival home, Doug called home to tell us Max was super excited about his phone and I should call him. The girls and I finished lunch, then called. The phone rang and rang and rang. Finally, my son answered the phone. There was a lot of noise in the background. On the other end of the line, my son said "Hi....I'm in the shower. I can't talk!"
We then skyped with Doug and Max and Grandma. It was so good to see my handsome boy, by husband, and his Mom. We talked for about 30 minutes or better. They all seem quite happy to be together.

The girls and I spent the day cooking and cleaning. This morning we made spaghetti sauce to put in the freezer for future dinners, and enjoyed some for lunch. We cleaned the entire upstairs. We have been looking at our house from the eyes of a 17 month old. Hannah is a great helper. Mila....well, she doesn't go far from where I put her. We rearranged where diapers, shoes, and clothes were in their room are to get ready for a little brother. The girls were excited to tell Papa we found a new place for their television. It was a good day, spent together. We didn't even leave the house!
We're counting down the days until Papa is home again.

Tonight, as we said prayers before bed, Mila prayed first, then Hannah followed. Her prayers are sweet and expanding as she understands more and more of who God is. Tonight, she prayed for a wonderful day, a wonderful family, and thanked God that He lead Mama and Papa to Ukraine to bring home her brothers. She said, "A family is better with brother and sisters who have a Mama and Papa, and now Max and Eli have a family, and I thank you for that God." She thanked God for "this time that we can pray, praise you, and worship you....in all the glory you are." She was sure to pray to bring Papa and Grandma home safely, and to "watch over Max until he can home. I can't wait for him to come home, even though it may be a little while, but I really want to give my big brother a big hug..."
My sweet little girl, she couldn't have said it better. We can't wait for a 'big stinky brother' (Hannah's words) to come home so that we can give him a big hug!

A decision finally!!!!

2011-10-21T19:59:00.000-04:00

Today we started off waiting. Waiting for a phone call to see if we could visit this other orphanage that so many people rave about.(as far as orphanages go) T finally called about 9:15 and told us she would pick us up at 10:30. When she arrived we went to see Eli at his orphanage. I wish I had known this I would have brought some toys with me, but I didn't know this was on the agenda today, not that I minded!!! We arrived and played with my son while T went and closed out his bank account. She came back, we left the director a gift (Eli's money from his bank account) and then we went to look at the new orphanage where we thought about placing Max. It was nice. A little different, but nice. It was different in that, the kids go to a public school, which is common in some areas, but they also get bussed to another area close by to sleep at night. They visit the building we saw just before and after school until bed time. Not a bad place, just different. So T told the director our situation and after some coercing she agreed, but only first with a letter from the U.S. Embassy. Since Max has parents that are American citizens this causes a big problem. Ukrainian orphanages are only for children that are Ukrainian citizens, with Ukrainian parents. The director wanted a letter from the U.S Embassy stating that they were aware of the situation and gave their approval. This is no problem except that we didn't find this out until almost 3pm today and the Embassy closed at 4. We also had to have it done by Monday since we are leaving for Kiev on Monday evening. It just wasn't going to happen. Plus, the orphanage wanted a monthly donation of something between 100 and 200 dollars per month. This is what the average cost is I was told, but I could give what I wanted it was a donation. Even T didn't like this idea. So she called the director of the orphanage of were Max is currently at and explained our situation and said he could continue to stay there, but she would like a gift. So it looks like he won't be moving after all. I still have to figure out what a gift is, but I still think it will cheaper, an easier transition, and if by chance he still gets to leave earlier than April, it will make the return trip easier. I just hope he can behave there.
We made a few more stops after the orphanage visit and then headed back to the apartment. Once behind closed doors, I called home and vented and unloaded all this mountain of information onto Cara. She was gracious and just let me vent to her. We then proceeded to Nate's house for dinner and games. It was a great evening with friends from the church. We ate, fellowshiped and played dominoes. What a great time. We made plans for Nate to pick us up in the morning, travel to Max's orphanage, and pick Max up for the weekend. This will probably be the last time we really have to spend with him until we have to go to Kiev. I hope they let us take him for the whole weekend, and there aren't any hiccups with this. Please pray the director lets him be excused for Saturday and Sunday. I am his father now I would think that should have some merit. It will be a great and tough weekend. It will be bitter sweet. I can't wait to spend the time with him, and for him to meet Nate and his wife Diana, but taking back on Sunday evening is going to be tough. Monday is going to be even tougher. Monday I have to sign him over to the orphanage as his father. I have written my name millions of times, but I don't think any of them have hurt like this is going to. I'm trying to prepare my heart for the ache, but I know there's no stopping it from happening. I love this boy. He's my Son. He needs to be with me and his Mama. He has wanted this more than anyone, and I feel like the door is being slammed again. I know we will get him in a few months. I know this is just temporary, but to him I know it will feel like an eternity. Just a few weeks ago he was dreaming about his dreams coming true. Finally having a family, the one that he wanted and it was in America. Now he has to watch that family leave, his family, while he stays in the one place he doesn't want to be. Please pray for him. Pray that God gives him the strength to carry on. Pray that God gives him the wisdom to make good decisions. Pray that the Ukrainian government grants him amnesty and I can come back and bring him home in a couple weeks and not the 6 months. Pray for me and Cara as we deal with trying to be a parent to child 5000 miles away. Pray that we find the rest of the funds we need for a third trip back to Ukraine to bring our son home. Pray for me as I sign my signature saying that I give them permission to take care of his needs while he is here. Pray for Nate and Diana as they so graciously take the role of Cara and I as best they know how. They already have a full schedule and still have decided to take on this role. Pray that they can be the encouragement that Max needs, the level headed one that he listens too and the ones that he can call when he is in need.
This entire journey has been long, and it has been rough, and its still not over. I know God has his plan that he is still unfolding, and it is beautiful. He has something special in store for Max. This boy has been through so much in his 14 years. Things most of us couldn't experience in a lifetime. If there is ever anyone on this earth tough enough to endure this, it is him. God knows this and I think Max does to. This is all God's plan. It is perfect. It might not seem perfect to me, but I only see a little bit of the puzzle. I know that He is in control, and in Him I put all of my trust. After all, it is out of His love for Cara and I, and Max that He has called us on this journey. He asked us to endure this only because He loves us and He sees the whole puzzle put together. And with that, I can truly say, It is well with my soul.

Paper chase, day #2

2011-10-20T21:06:00.000-04:00

Doug and Karen were up early this morning and out the door to pick Elijah up for his passport picture. Our facilitator asked for money before they went into the building as well as after being in the building. Maybe the dollars helped get the passport faster. The passport price was higher than what had been quoted to us two weeks ago. Amazing how the price inflates in two week's time. I guess it's one of those things you just grin and bear it, knowing that in the end, it's what gets your kiddos home.
When entering the building, there was a long line, but Doug and Karen went to the front, got Elijah's picture taken and got everything sent out to be processed. We've been told that the passport will arrive on Monday.
Then on to Max's birth town, which is about 90 minutes outside the city. Now we have new birth certificates for both boys, and a passport in process for Elijah.

There has been a lot of discussion about Max and his possible move to another orphanage. We had first been told that we had the choice as Max's legal parents to move him to any orphanage in the country. We had talked with our friend Anya, who lives in another region, and we decided it would be best to sen him to an orphanage close to her so that he could be in contact with her until we could come back to get him. Then, we were told that he would need to stay in the same region he is in now. So after Doug and I talked last night, we decided to move him to an orphanage in his region that our friends Nate and Diana volunteer at. Well, we were told it was a "bad" orphanage (like dirty/old kinda bad), then we were told that Max couldn't go to a state run orphanage, but would need to go to a privately run orphanage or stay at the orphanage he is at now.

All this information for Doug to digest. First, we feel horrible that as Max's legal parents, we can't even do what is best for him in this situation because of the "bureaucracy", then to have all this information told to you through broken English. On top of all that, you feel so helpless, because your wife is in another country, 7 hours behind you time wise, and the decision you want to make together--if there is really a decision for us to make.

I talked to Doug at lunch time today as well as after school. I think he was overwhelmed and it was good to talk. This afternoon we talked for a long time and at one point he started to cry. No a good situation since I was driving in the rain on our way to therapy for the girls, trying not to cry too. Doug told me that new, and dear friends of ours in Ukraine offered to take Max in. Can you believe that? People, who we just met in September, offered to care for our son for six months. Doug was blown away and greatly humbled by this gesture. Because Nate and Diana minister to orphans around the country of Ukraine in the winter, it would not be possible for Max to live with them. Nate told Doug they "would help Max in any way they could". Doug told Nate that he would just like someone to be there for Max, to be a voice of reason, to be a "father" figure when he couldn't. Nate and Diana have been gracious enough to be Max's lifeline during his "limbo" time int he country, committing to drive to his orphanage, pick him up and take him to church. They are willing to touch base with him weekly, pray with him and for him, and help guide him in our absence.

Tomorrow- Friday, Doug, Karen, and the facilitator are going to check out one other option for an orphanage placement in the city of Kharkov. It is a privately run orphanage, so there might be a hefty cost involved. Doug is hoping that tomorrow after visiting, he will know better what to do about Max's placement. Either tomorrow or Saturday, they will pick Max up and spend the weekend together. On Monday, Nate would like to go out and meet the director and introduce himself to him/her so that if and when he goes to spend time with Max, he will be a known face.
There has been paperwork submitted to a high official in the President's office. One of our team members submitted it and thought he would hear something immediately from this official. There was no news today. At the least, the team thought that they would hear something on the 27th (which is the day Doug flies home) when the Presidents council meets. The paperwork submitted was a request to allow Max to travel home before August, be fore April, but now. For now, we continue to wait.

It was a frustrating day for Doug. Not because things were not accomplished, but because of the run-around, the indecisiveness, and lack of information that was easily understood by the team.
Doug could use, and I'm sure would appreciate your prayers. He is making big decisions about our boys and I am fully confident that he will make the ones that are best for our boys.

Cara

Morning with Max

2011-10-19T21:09:00.000-04:00

      This morning started off early with a trip to the orphanage to see Max. We arrived at the orphanage and our driver helped us find him, since someone would have to speak Russian to get him today, because he was in school. So after about five minutes my skinny blond headed comes running down the stairs and give Grandmaand I a great big hug. It felt great to see him again.
      We then proceeded to his groupa room so we could just sit and talk for a while. Grandma asked about all the puzzles hanging in his room that had been done over a period of time. Max went through each one and told her how long they took to put together and which parts he was in charge of. She told that he was really talented and must really like working puzzles. He just replied,"Yes, but not as much as Lego's". I took the hint....
      He then took us down the hall and got a key from a caretaker to open another room for us to venture into. I thought it was going to be the craft room he has shown Cara and I on an earlier visit, but I was wrong. This room was the largest I have seen in the orphanage and is the room where they watch TV and work on puzzles. So we sat down and talked there for a while. As we were talking, it hit me. He doesn't know yet. He doesn't know that he's my son and I'm his father. We didn't have time after court to tell him the decision, and just assumed he would be told. I just assumed that the director would be notified and pass the word along. So I looked at him and asked him,"Do you know about the suit?" He looked at me with a puzzled look. So in my American way I said"The suit", which means court, but this time louder.(because it has nothing to do with a different language, you just talk like their deaf and they'll understand!!!!) He finally said "No". I looked at him and said "Well you are now Macksym Nicholas Layne". I thought he was going to cry. He just reached over and gave me the biggest hug. Its been twelve days since court, I couldn't believe he didn't know. I wonder how many times at night or when he had time to himself he wondered if he would still be an orphan, or if a judge had said yes, and he finally had a real family. A real mama, and real papa. I don't who I was more upset with, the team that helps us for not telling him, or myself. I know we were busy trying to get home to our girls in America, but all we had to was stop one day and send a simple email to make sure he knew. Looks like my first real job as his parent was a complete failure.

Checking out the iPhone with Grandma.

We left the orphanage and went back to the apartment to eat some lunch and wait on T. We were heading out to start the finalization process for Eli. This consisted of getting both boys court decrees, getting Eli's old birth certificate, then going to get his new one that has his new name- Eijah Konstantine Layne. Then once I signed my name to that we had to get a new tax i.d. number so we could apply for his new passport. Once we did that we had the documents legalized then notarized. It all amounted to a four hour ride in the back of a car, in which I signed my name three times, and really just waited a lot on T. Tomorrow early morning we have to get Eli out and take him to get his passport and visa photo. We have to have this done so it can be sent off by 11 am. Then we are heading to Max's hometown, which I'm told is an hour and a half away, to get his new birth certificate. We are then going to go spring him from his orphanage. I'm sure he will be excited. Although I don't know for how long, as we still don't know for sure where we are going to place him until he is able to leave the country. Please pray for this process. We are trying to get answers, but this is unheard of and is a rare case, and things are still being digested over what to do. All I know is he is not staying where he at now for the next 6 months and I have a plane to catch to take Eli home on the 27th. Hopefully we hear something soon.

My boy and his sweet tarts! He loves those things!

On another note, if you are reading this and you have in one way or another supported us on this journey, I just want to take the time to say Thank You! Without people willing to give of their money and their time, this journey would not have been possible. More importantly than the giving of your time and money, it means more to us that you gave your love. That's truly what you gave. I use to really struggle with the question,"Do I really love God?" Did I truly love God, or did I just love what God could and would do for me. Was my love for Him a selfish love? I really struggled and prayed over this for a couple years trying to figure it out. If you have the same question, here is what God revealed to me. The bible tells us to first love the Lord your God. Okay, I say that aloud, but this is my struggle right. It then says to love your neighbor as yourself. Okay, easy, I love to help out those in need. It has always been one of my passions. Jesus also says,"Whatever you do to the least of these you do unto me." There it is. Let it sink in. When you help your neighbor. Love your neighbor. You are also loving God. Love isn't a noun. It's not a thing. Love is a verb. It's an action. And you my friend have not only loved Me and Cara, but you have truly made God shed a tear with your love for Him. (and me too)
I want to leave you with one last thought. In the book of Mark, chapter 10 verses 17-22. A young wealthy man comes up to Jesus and wants to join He and the disciples. I'm sure the disciples were probably happy happy this was a well to do man. They could really use a guy like this. He tells Jesus that he has done everything right, and he wants to follow him. So in verse 21. Jesus looked at him and loved him."One thing you lack," he said. "Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." I have struggled and pondered over this verse. It's a hard verse to read. This young man really wanted to devote his life to Jesus. He just couldn't get rid of all his stuff he had worked hard for. Truth is I'm not sure I could. Another struggle. But, the part I have always missed was the part I underlined. I just thought Jesus was harping on this guy because he didn't give to the poor. I'm not sure that was the case. It was out of love that he told this man this. Christ knew, that by selling everything this man had, sure, it might be a temporary set back for him, but his eternal reward would be so much greater.
So my last question for the night is this-- out of love, what is Christ asking you to do? Cara and I have have approached this on all of our adoptions--what is God asking us to do? This question can sometimes be a scary one--one that may put you out of your comfort zone, stretch your limits. Maybe for you its committing to teach Sunday school, or helping out in the nursery at church. Maybe, its volunteering at that place you have been talking about for a while, or maybe its selling everything you have and devoting your life to the mission field. Whatever it is, I think we all need to ask ourselves this question.

We finally made it!!!!

2011-10-18T20:20:00.000-04:00

     Okay, bear with me on this. I'm a newbie to this blog stuff. This is a job I have no problem letting my lovely wife, Cara, do. But since I'm (Doug) the one in Ukraine you're stuck with me for a few days. There you have been warned.... (But Cara added a few tidbits in italics parenthesis!)
   It was a long day Sunday/Monday. I don't know where Sunday ended and Monday began, but I think it was somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean. All I know is when we landed in Kiev, made through passport control and customs, we where ready to relax, but first we needed train tickets. Traffic was horrible, one of the worst I've ever seen, but Nikko did a great job fighting his way through it. After we got our tickets to Kharkov, we finally arrived at our apartment. Once showered and cleaned and a couple of phone calls it was time for bed. The alarm would be going off early as our ride to the train station would be at our apartment at 5:30 am.
Nikko showed up on time, as usual, and we made it to the train station early. (They took the early express train to Kahrkov, takes 6 hours to get there) The train ride was uneventful, and well, just a typical train ride. We arrived and were greeted by Edward who took us to our apartment. Oh, yeah I forgot to mention that it started snowing, and then turned to rain. Not a nice day out at all. We got to the apartment we settled in and ate a quick lunch. We then headed back out the door, to go see Eli. The moment this Papa was waiting for. The weather was just a little bit of rain and a little bit of snow mix when we left. After leaving, and having the discussion that an umbrella really wasn't needed for this amount precipitation, our hoods and hats would be enough, it started to poor down rain. Cold, cold rain. Lets just say we regretted the conversation of not taking our umbrella's. We arrived at the orphanage water logged and cold and proceeded up to Eli's room. I asked to see him and received a look like I had three heads. I politely asked again and the lady told me she would get the doctor. Great, I tell myself, I just trudged all the way over here in the pouring rain so I could see my son, and now their going to tell me he is sick, or back at the hospital for observation, or who know what. Suffice to say, my mind was going 100 miles per hour and temper wasn't far behind. Finally after about ten minutes the doctor came up and asked us to follow her. She took us to the same room where Cara and I had last seen him 10 days ago, the quarantined room.
     Eli just wasn't himself today. I don't know if it is from being by himself in a small room for 10 days with no one else around or what, but he was just a little down. The only thing he wanted was his pacifier, and that was it. I couldn't get him to laugh when I tickled him, make funny faces at him, or anything that usually works to make him smile. (He missed his Mama....where was she anyways??) Kind of hurt my heart to see him that way. He was also real raspy still in the chest. That really worried me too. So after a couple pictures and a visit of about and hour we put him back in his crib, handed him his toy, which looked like he had lost, and were about to leave, when suddenly he sprang to life. He started dancing and cooing, like the Eli I had seen a couple weeks ago. I guess he just needed the right toy, or for His Papa to get ready to leave!!!!

      We trudged back through the rain and made to the apartment. We settled in, dried off and warmed up as much as possible. Soon after that Nate called to see when he could come pick up the package his brother had sent him through me. So about 5:30 he arrived here and we talked for a bit before we decided to go out for some supper. Pizza Bella won out as the place for our dinner so that's where we headed to. Dinner was great, and after that we headed to the Rost for some grocery shopping.

Tomorrow we start the finalization of Eli's adoption. The final push...Its been been a long, hard, time consuming, and very expensive road. The stakes are high and the cost is great. This is the reality of any adoption. This is our family's way of showing and sharing the gospel. It has helped me to better understand a fathers love. It has shown me just how much God loves each and everyone of us. It shows me just how far he was willing to go to adopt us, to make us His own. It has shown me His heart.... As I was sitting there today, waiting at the orphanage for the doctor to come back, with in my own mind bad news. All I could think about was the grueling, 10 hour flight over, the four hours of sleep the night before, and the 6 hour train ride. Then 45 minutes of trudging though the flooded streets, in the cold and rain. I JUST WANTED TO HOLD MY SON. That's all I wanted to do. The worst case scenarios came into my mind, as I thought of my troubles just to get here and then to be denied the one thing that kept me going. Then I thought about God, and what he endured to watch his own Son bear the wrath stored up that was meant for you and me. All so we could be adopted. All so we could be His. Oh, how his heart must have ached. There is one thing you don't want to mess with in this life, and that is a Fathers heart. For we will do anything to get to our children. There is no journey to hard, nor cost to great.

The girls and I are marking off each day on the calendar until Papa, Grandma, and Elijah come home. Mila asks "Papa be home today?" and Hannah reminds her not until the day with the pink writing! We are preparing for a little man in the house, talking about what toys we need to put away as soon as we are finished with them (crayons?!) that a little brother could get into. We'll be ready!

Ukraine or bust- part 2

2011-10-16T21:28:00.000-04:00

Doug and Karen are headed to Ukraine. Right about now they are over the Atlantic Ocean on their way to Munich, then on to Kiev. It's Karen's first in Ukraine. First time out of the country. First time to fly! Nothing like a 10+ hour, three leg flight to be your first! (Doug's first time flying was in 2006 when we went to Ukraine for a mission trip.) While Doug and Karen are in Ukraine, Doug promised to blog, if I would help with the layout of pictures. So together, the blog of the journey to bring the boys home will continue!
The *plan* is to head to the boy's region on the express train Tuesday morning. They would arrive in the region around noon on Tuesday. This will allow Doug and Karen some time to get settled in the apartment before a long day of paperwork, applying for passports, and working on changing the boys birth certificates to their new names on Wednesday and Thursday. There is a possible trip to another region to take Max to his new orphanage until he can come home over the weekend. By next Monday, Elijah's passport *should* arrive. They would head back to the capital city overnight Monday, and be able to complete medicals, and embassy appointments #1 and #2 and fly home on Thursday the 22. At least as of right now, that is the *plan*.
Our team has been talking to some big time officials in the country, pleading Max's case. There is a small chance that Max might be able to come home with Doug and Karen. We should know within 10 days if a higher-up official (as in one that works in the President's office) will allow Max to come home now, rather than later. We're saying our prayers that these officials will agree that the best place for Max to be is at home, with a family that loves him and will guide him to make good decisions and instill good moral values.
Knowing that Max coming home now was an option, great friends have rallied around us to help. Amy is donating her proceeds from a Lia Sophia party towards our adoption costs. Megan and Erin had a 31 party today, and the 31 consultant; Sonia, asked if she could donate her proceeds towards our adoption. Other friends and family members have donated to our Reece's Rainbow account again. A dear friend offered to help us financially. We wouldn't be able to have the option financially to bring Max home now without these great friends. We are truly grateful and humbled by the generosity of others to make our family a reality.

Home again

2011-10-11T21:44:00.000-04:00

We are home. Our trip home was a whirlwind. We got on a train at 4:00pm Thursday, arrived in Kiev around 10:30, got to the apartment after 11:00pm, and our driver was picking us up at 4:00am to take us to the airport on Friday morning. We boarded a flight at 6:45am Ukraine time, flew 2/5 hours to Munich, Germany, 9 hours to Newark, NJ, and 2 hours to Cincinnati. Once we reached Cincinnati, we had a 2 hour drive home. We got home right before 9:00pm and went to pick up our girls.
Saturday friends from church threw a shower for Eli and Max. Sunday was church. And Monday, the girls and I returned to school as a team of 3! :)
I'm still trying to get back into the swing of things, the time change and being a Mom again! It's crazy that I had forgotten how much energy it takes!
Doug heads back to Ukraine on Sunday. His Mom, Karen will be traveling with him. During this trip, he will be bringing Elijah home. We received an e-mail from our facilitator today that the team is still working on trying to get Max home sooner. There is a slim chance that he might be able to come home when Elijah does. This being said, we need to find the money tree! :)

Last visit

2011-10-05T16:11:00.000-04:00

Today was our last visit with Max. When we arrived we asked a couple kids and they told us Max was in the cafeteria. We walked into the building and found our son at a table by himself, finishing his soup. He immediately jumped up and gave both of us big hugs. Doug told him to finish his soup and we would wait for him outside.
Today, the weather was around 70 degrees, so we sat outside on a bench outside and waited. Max came bounding out, and again gave us big hugs. He tends to lean into mean and put his head against me much like you expect a young boy to do.
Doug and I explained that tomorrow we will have court and then head for home. We had to explain him that although tomorrow a judge would deem us his parents, he would need to stay in Ukraine for a while longer. We could tell that he was visibly upset, but my young man has seen enough pain in his life, he has learned to take it in stride and internalize the pain. It is so hard to watch. He was more worried about Mama crying and being upset. We reminded him how much we love him.

Doug talked to Max about the option of moving to a new place until April. We talked with him about moving to a different region where he could be closer to our friend Anya. He said "a different place is better. This place is no good. That boy (pointing) he wants me to skip school with him today. I told him no". I think he understands that the temptations are too great where he is now and that moving would be a good thing.
We played several rounds of Uno, one which lasted a REALLY long time, laughed, and had a good time. Soon enough it was time to leave. And Mama started crying. Leaving my boy behind....again. I pray that Max knows how much we love him and how important he is to us. We will come back for him, to bring him home-forever.

Tomorrow will be a whirl-wind of activity. We have court at 9:20am. Our facilitator is picking us up at 8:30. After court we plan to go see Elijah. At 4:30pm our train leaves for the capital city. We will arrive in Kiev at 10:30pm. Friday morning our flight leaves Kiev at 6:30am--headed for home.
Though this trip has been long, I can truthfully say there are many things I love about this country. There are many people I treasure that call Ukraine home.

The Great Chocolate Walk

2011-10-04T17:11:00.000-04:00

Today, we didn't have boys to visit. Instead, we set out in search of chocolate. Our friend Nate took us to a large Rost supermarket (Poct in Russian letters) that had a great selection of chocolate. We really wanted to find that store again. Small problem, Nate took us in his car. And today we were going by Metro and by foot.
We looked at the Rost bag, which had the adresses/Metro stops they were close to, so Doug felt quite sure we could find the store. When you get to your metro stop, there are two ways to get out. Each way out, then has two ways to go. It takes a bit of learning, guesswork, or "oh, let's try this way" to figure out which way to go out and where you will come up at. Once you arrive above ground, you need to look around at your surroundings and get your bearings about you before venturing off. So we arrived at our Metro stop, came up to ground level, and looked around. The large outdoor market was to our left and the Billa market up the road ahead of us. But where was the Rost in relation to where we were?
So we decided to head up the road, remembering that Nate had told us his apartment was close to the outdoor market and the Rost store we were looking for, we knew where we were in relation to our old apartment. And I saw a church...one I (thought) had seen when we were leaving the Rost the other day. We walked into the Billa and checked out their selection of chocolate. Impressive, but not near what the Rost had. Back out of the Billa. And then, in that AHA moment, a sign...not one from God, but a street sign that said "Poct 800m" with an arrow. So we began our walk.
Doug got out his handy little converter on his phone. 800 meters is approximately 1/2 mile.

We made a daring crossing in a street with 4 lanes of speeding traffic. Sure, there was a crosswalk sign and lines on the street, but no light that stopped the traffic. And there were no brave Ukrainians today to follow. We were it. We made a quick jog (yes, I'm sure that screamed foreigners, but who wants to be road kill on week 6?) across the street to the Rost.

And then, enter the wonderful supermarket mecca. This place is huge! There are 4 aisles of alcohol, 2 chocolate, an entire meat section, deli, cakes, juice, soda. And don't forget the scented toilet paper! It's maybe twice the size of a Kroger!

We gathered a variety of Ukraine chocolates and my favorite chocolate as well as snagging several bags of hazelnut M&Ms to bring back to Ohio with us when we return to say thank you to those who helped us in our journey.

Tonight we were invited to a Bible study by a couple we have heard about from Laurie and Bryan. It was good to fellowship and spend time together digesting the Word. Brenda made yummy Greek pizza and homemade oatmeal cookies. We even came home with doggie bags! :)

For all of those wondering, no word on court today. I think our facilitator pretty much knows court will be on Thursday, we just don't know what time. She took a train today to another nearby region to be with the Hintz family who had court to adopt Sterling. Sterling's picture has been hanging on my refrigerator for over a year. Our family was his "prayer Warrior." We prayed for a family to come for him....and today, Sterling gained his forever family!
We plan to head to Eli's orphanage tomorrow morning, even if we go and find out he is not there. Then, we are going out to see Max in the afternoon. We need to talk with him about his extended stay after court.
Prayers for a firm court time, that we can purchase express train tickets to Kiev for Thursday evening, and plane tickets to leave Kiev early Friday morning!

Not a post I wanted to write

2011-10-03T12:45:00.000-04:00

Today is a day that I want to hide under a rock. A day I want to rewind and hope when it plays over again, it will have a different outcome. Today is a day that changes things. A day that effects everyone in our family. Today is a day we have both shed tears.
Today, a lady who works at the Foundation for the Rights of Orphans came to our region to meet with the court in Max's hometown. Over the summer Max was caught stealing. He and a peer left the orphanage and took a bus to another small town nearby. When the boys arrived in the small town, they were hungry, so stole a piece of metal pipe, sold it, so that they could buy food. Max and his peer were caught, and because of this, he and a peer are on a year of probation. This does not mean that we cannot adopt him, but that he cannot leave the country during his year of probation. A letter of amnesty was written by the orphanage director, (which would clear his record because he is a minor and an orphan and allow him to leave the country) but we learned today that amnesty cannot be granted until 6 months after the conviction. Six months would be January. After the six months, he can then be re-registered with a clean record and will be ready to leave the country in April.
Our hearts are heavy tonight. We know that our son has a good heart. I think in his mind, he did what he thought he had to do in order to survive. Thankfully, none of us have ever been in this situation. None of us have ever had to deal with what our boy has had to endure. We have never lived in a place where there was no mention of God. We have never lived in a place where we weren't accountable to anyone. We haven't ever lived in a place where no one cared about us. We haven't ever lived in a place where there wasn't a moral code instilled in us. Our boy has endured more physical pain and mental anguish from many years of being in a broken home or a home where the entire floor of the orphanage share one "Mama". He needs to be reminded that he is capable of good--and reminded that we have witnessed and continue to see the good in him. Just because he made a mistake does not mean that he is not worthy of love from a Mother and Father. I thank God today especially as I have a visual reminder, and every day that God does not turn away from me and say that I am not worthy of love because of the mistakes I have made.
These next six months will be painstakingly hard for us. We will have to leave our son behind and yet remind him that we have not forgotten him and we are coming back for him. We have to make a decision of where the most positive environment for him will be during those six months. We will have to celebrate Christmas and his birthday with him in a different country that us.
This adoption journey is not the one we planned. This was not the outcome we wanted. I'm almost sure that this is not the outcome Max wanted. We ask for your continued prayers as we attempt to parent a child from countries away and lift him up in a way that he is reminded that he has a good heart and is capable of great things. We are resting in the peace that although this is not the great outcome we had hoped for, it is the one that God has perfectly planned for us.

Think Positive

2011-10-02T15:29:00.000-04:00

We have been away from home long enough that it is getting hard to find the positive in each day. But yet, we strive to make each day the best day it can be and praise God for the positives, rather than dwelling on the negatives.
So here are my Positives:
1. Waterproof shoes.

Where would one be on a rainy day in a town that has endless potholes in the streets/sidewalks without waterproof shoes? These we a good investment!
(Side note, they are not waterproof if the water splashes up into your shoe...but since we are focusing on the positive, I won't mention that!)

2. Milka Chocolate

My all time favorite! It is super creamy and will get me through any day or sorrow!

3. My raincoat

Thanks to great friends like Stephanie and Thatcher who love me so much that they didn't want me to be wet! Guess what y'all? I was totally dry today!

4. Umbrellas

We saw many people out and about today hustling and bustling here and there with no umbrella. I giggled today b/c we brought travel umbrellas--not so fitting for a big guy like Doug. He takes it all in stride and makes me laugh by saying "Yeah great, fat boy and a little umbrella...great!"

5. Wifi and Internet

Thanks to Nate for loaning us the router, so Doug isn't hollering at me all the time for hogging the computer. He can happily access the internet from his phone! I can at least talk to my sweet girls each day when I can't be there with them

6. My amazing husband!

(With a new haircut I might add!) He has the burning passion for orphans and children with special needs. He is the one who encourages me, lets me cry when I need to, and kicks me back into gear when I need to be strong. We have been together for the last 35 days....and he still loves me! :)

7. My soon to be sons

These boys are the reason we have traveled half way across the earth. Each boy has his own unique personality. Each boy has their own differences. Each boy will face many hardships, but with the love of a family, we hope to love our way through those difficult times and rejoice with all the good times!

So, thought today was a gloomy, rainy day, we chose to be thankful for the positives in today and everyday!

To My Girls

2011-10-01T16:14:00.000-04:00

Hannah & Mila,

Oh how I miss you! I miss your giggles, your kisses, your hugs, hearing about your day at school, and hearing about something that happened in your day multiple times in an hour!!!
I see little things each day that reminds me of you and Papa and I smile when we see them. Ever though you are not here in Ukraine with us, we see little glimpses that remind us of you each day!
Hannah- there is a great little playground across the street from our new apartment. It has all kinds of slides and climbing space. You could have a blast playing on it!
Mila- I think I spotted a wheel on it. You could stand forever, giving Mama orders and playing "Jake and the Neverland Pirates"! How fun!

Hannah- there are lots of stores that have little carts...you would love grocery shopping here!

Mila- I saw a huge selection of olives today at the store! You would be a happy girl here in Ukraine, putting olives on your fingers before eating them!

Hannah- check out the loaf of bread we bought at the store today! There is an entire section of fresh baked bread. You would love the smell of it...it smells delicious!

Girls- These cookie/wafer things are YUMMY! I plan to bring some home so we can share them. :)

Mila- they have Oreos in Ukraine! :)

Mila- I saw a girl on the Metro the other day with Peppa Pig pants on. If I had known Russian, I would have been tempted to try to buy her pants from her....but then the little girl would be naked...That wouldn't be good!

Hannah- I downloaded the new Lady Antebellum CD. I can't wait to get home and sing the songs together and watch you dance!

Girls- your little brother is starting to crawl. Hannah, that means I will need help. We'll have to watch and make sure he doesn't put little things in his mouth...he loves to put stuff in his mouth. Mila, that means that your toys are in jeopardy. Guess we'll have to help Eli learn to share! Maybe he can convince you to make some independent movement! :)

We love you so much. I miss you so very much! I can't wait to be home together, reading you bedtime stories and saying prayers with you. We have lots to do to get ready for your brothers to come home. I'll need help, and I know you both will be excellent helpers! Be good, say your prayers, and remember that Mama and Papa love you very much!

32 days & a new apartment!

2011-09-30T06:06:00.002-04:00

We have been in the country for 32 days so far. Right now, that is about two weeks longer than we thought our first trip would last, by the time we get home, we will have been in country 3 weeks longer than we anticipated for our first trip. All this time, waiting to have court.
I am ready to be home with the girls and start preparing things for the boys to be home.

When we visited the baby house on Tuesday, the doctor had told us that our little man would be back on Thursday and we could visit on Friday. Well, today is Friday, and when our facilitator called the baby house and talked to the doctor, the doctor said she would need to call the hospital and check on him. Gracious. I just can't understand how a routine observation takes 5 days. Makes this Mama's heart worry that there is something they aren't telling us. If so, so be it. I'm still taking my little boy home. We'll deal with whatever may come. I just want to hold my little man. Give him the snuggles that I've been missing for the last 6 days. I want him to feel comfortable and secure enough to fall asleep in my arms.
Word now is that our little guy caught a cold on Tuesday and they have been unable to do the tests they need to do at the hospital because of his cold. He is suppose to be back at the orphanage on Tuesday. There is a real chance that this Mama will not get to see her little man, to kiss his soft cheeks until he reaches American soil with his Papa and Grandma. Please keep my little man in your thoughts and prayers. Pray that he gets over his cold quickly, that his tests are performed, and he returns to the Baby House soon....possibly soon enough that his Mama and Papa can hold him, tell him how much he is loved, and that we will be back to get him, to take him home for good!

Today we moved apartments. Seems even though the lady renting our apartment to us offered Internet, now she wants to charge us more a day for the apartment for Internet use. We have paid $60/night for our entire 32 day stay-- $1920 in apartment fees. This afternoon, our facilitator and her husband helped us move into the apartment Laurie and Bryan had been staying in. This landlord agreed to let us stay for $50/night. We hope we are only here 5 more nights. Then, once in Kiev we will have a night's stay so that we can stop at the US Embassy before going home.

On Monday, a lady is coming from Kiev to help out with Max's amnesty. Our facilitator was willing to do this for us, but the SDA mandated that another attorney is better suited to deal with his amnesty. We want nothing more than to bring our boy home, so we are willing to do what is asked. This means we will need to pay for the lady's train tickets to and from the region, her cab fare, and the fee that is included with Max's case.

Today, we did a lot of waiting. I cried. (I'm at that point of this journey. I miss the girls horribly, and since we are running low on funds, we haven't seen Max a second time this week. I'm lost without my kids). We added up what we need to finish our second journey. It is pretty much equal to what an extra three weeks have cost us. I am thankful for a dear friend who is going to have a Lia Sophia jewelry party to benefit our adoption. Every little bit helps.

We thank each and every one of you for your prayers as we make our way through this great journey. Though the road has been long and horribly bumpy with many pot holes, I have no doubt that God has his hand on us, leading us through this!

Pizza with friends

2011-09-28T15:57:00.000-04:00

It was a damp day here and we had no visits to make. We typically do not see Max on Wednesday, and Eli is still at the hospital for observation. We slept in, then did two loads of bath tub laundry. We had lunch, watched a movie together, and then took the Metro to have pizza with friends.

We have been blessed that Laurie and Bryan Maddex have made lots of friends and connections here in the city. They introduced us to a great church family. Nate, the assistant pastor is originally from Ohio, and his wife Diana, is a teacher in a Christian school here in the city. Tonight we went to Nate & Diana's home to have pizza. What a great treat, homemade pizza! It was delicious. And to share pizza and fellowship with friends. It was a bittersweet night. One last horrah for Laurie and Bryan as they are headed to the big city tomorrow evening to finish the last details of their adoption. We have truly enjoyed our time together here in the city and feel blessed to have had the time to get to know them. Their new son is precious. (and loves sweets!) Go safely Maddex family! Can't wait to talk to you again when we are both stateside!

As we were walking home I started to think about our time here and how learning the Metro has helped us significantly. We would feel very "stuck" not having the Metro to go places. I found some info on the Metro on Wikipedia.

Our "home" stop, (closest to our apartment) is on the green line. It's name is Nauchnaya/Naukova. This is also the stop you would go to to get to Calvary Chapel Church. (We are close enough, we walk to church.) When we go to see Eli, we get on at our stop (the green line) and ride south 4 stops, where the green line ends. We then have to get out of our train, go up an escalator, down a long hall, and up/down steps to transfer to the red line. We then get on the Red line and ride 4 stops to the Sovetskoi Armii stop. This stop is easy to recognize because of the gold plated stars on the wall of the metro stop. From this stop, we walk about two blocks to get to Eli's orphanage. There is a great grocery at the Zavod im. Malsheva stop on the red line. We found the best selection at this store--and awesome fresh bread!
The other apartment that people typically stay in when in the city is at the Prospekt Gagarina, which is on the red line, between the blue and green transfer stops.
We have only gone round and round once. We are by no means experts, but I don't think I want to stay long enough to be experts! We are right down the street (within 20 minute walking distance) from Kharkov's freedom square.

There is a large park right next to the square and on the back side of the park is the Zoo and the Dolphinarium.
At this point, I feel pretty confident in my surroundings. With that being said, I think it's time to head home--maybe I know the lay of the land a little too well. Maybe it means I've been here too long!

No news about a specific court date yet. We know that we will have a meeting with someone from the capital city here in our city on Monday at 1:00pm. We ask for prayers that this meeting goes well, that the official has compassion on our situation and completes her work within the day.

Tuesday (day 29)

2011-09-27T11:50:00.000-04:00

Let me begin by saying how much I stinkin' miss my girls!!! After being away for 28 days (ouch, that reality hurts!), Mila finally decided to talk to us last night! What a nice change that was! She sat for probably 20 minutes, saying "You know what...." and "I gotta tell you somethin' else". We heard about her new friend in her class (though she couldn't remember his name), how Ms. Christy got wet in the rain because she didn't have an umbrella, and that her book bag got wet. Hannah typically is the chatty one, but yesterday, it was little Miss Mila. She even told me she was excited about her brothers. I love that the thought of having new kids in the house has started to sink in to her! I love my girls and can't wait to be home with them again!

Yesterday, Nate took us out into the city and showed us around. We made a trip to a big grocery and he helped us navigate the grocery. We stocked up for (hopefully) our last weeks here! We had to buy more shampoo, conditioner, soap, and contact solution because the two travel sized ones that we brought, we have gone through!! I went to a Women's bible study last night. How awesome to be around a small group of women who share the same faith. The bible study was focused around the book Calm my Anxious Heart, by Linda Dillow. What an appropriate topic for this journey we are on. I came home refreshed and more confident.

Today, we ventured out to see our little man. We didn't go yesterday because our facilitator called us and told us "Kostya" had a scheduled visit to the hospital. She reminded Doug "it's planned", which I think was to remind us not to worry. So when we got to the orphanage today, and arrived in his groupa room, the nanny swung her hands to say no when we asked for him, and then said "Doctor" and pointed downstairs. This is when my heart started beating a little faster. We went downstairs to see the doctor, and the nanny followed us. The doctor spoke some English and told us that "Kostya" was at the hospital for observation. She said he would be back on Thursday, and we could visit on Friday. At that point, I wanted to fall apart, but kept it together. We are not his legal parents at this point, just two Americans who come to visit him daily. Thinking about my little boy...my little orphan boy, with Down Syndrome, in a hospital bed all by himself for 4 days, breaks my heart. There is nothing I want to do more than to go there and sit with him, rock him, and be with him.
I'm already his Mama in my heart, and it feels horrible not being able to be there with him. Our prayer is that he is treated well, and his time there is routine and that it will only help us bring him home. Will you please pray for our little man? Pray that he is safe and happy and well cared for while in the hospital. Also pray to calm this Mama's heart as she can't be with him or see him for several days.

This afternoon we went to visit our big boy and waited close to an hour for him to come out of school. My question to him- Where have you been? Did you get in trouble? I really didn't want to hear him say yes! Ugh. He reassured me it wasn't big trouble. (oh, great!) Seems that each student takes a turn cleaning the room after class. Today was Max's day. If the teacher is not satisfied with the way it is cleaned, she asks the student to do it again. Seems our young man in all his hurrying to get out the door, had to do it 4 times over!! Goodness! He wanted to try and tell me that the teacher was mean, but we told him if he had just taken his time and done a good job the first time, he wouldn't have had to do it over! BOYS....Teenagers!

Today we got another glimpse of orphanage life. A boy who we have met before and has been around during some of our visits (we'll call him "V"), came over and was talking to Max. Then another boy came up, put his arm around the first and started to walk away. Our son jumped up and was ready to hit the bigger boy. We told him to leave the kid alone. Max then told us the bigger boy was going to take the smaller boy behind the building and beat him up. We could tell that even though we told Max to stay out of it, he was worried about his (smaller) friend. Finally Doug asked "You worried about V?" Max said yes. So Doug said, "let's go check". I have no idea what Doug intended to do if one kid was pummeling the other behind the building, but he and Max went together to check on his friend. When they got to the side of the building the boys were just "talking".
Max then told us when V came back around the building that the big boy wants to beat his friend V up because V's older brother (who is in prison) stole his cell phone. The big boy is now trying to get the money for the stolen phone from V, who is the younger brother. The big boy wants 800 grevna, so $100 out of V. It's so sad. V didn't do anything to the kid, but yet he is tormented for something someone else did. And where is an orphan going to get $100??
V, we call "the tree climber" because he is always in the tree...and up too high for my comfort. Doug and I decided that maybe that's his escape mechanism. He is a small boy, smaller than our son, and Max is small for his age.
When we arrived back to the apartment, we couldn't get in. Seems the landlord was here cleaning. When we walked in, she was in her skirt, and towel wrapped around her top as a shirt. (Hehe!) We felt kinda weird sitting here while she cleaned. She even showered before she left!

Keep those prayers coming! We can feel them and need them even more! After checking in with the US Embassy, we learned that since the boys are not related, we will need to pay for an additional I600 form ($720). Keep your eyes peeled. We're going to reveal a Handy Helper fundraiser today or tomorrow!

Random thoughts & observations

2011-09-25T13:57:00.000-04:00

We've been here long enough, it's time for that random thoughts and observations post!

- People here walk in heels (tiny heels) and carry big purses.
- The Metro (subway) runs more often during the day, every 2-3 minutes. Not so much in the evening, every 5-7 minutes, and hardly at all at night, sometimes up to 10 minute wait!
- Occasionally random people get on the Metro, and sing or play the guitar and sing for money. The one guy who sings, particularly creeps me out.
- Once it's jacket weather, people seem to wear their jacket ever day from here on out. Even when its 70+ degrees.
- Why does McDonald's taste better here??
- There is no such thing as handicap accessibility here. I take that back--there is. Metal ramp guides over the stairs. So yeah, even though the guides are there, it still isn't accessible.
- Tiny markets are here there and everywhere. You can buy the essentials--fruits, veggies, some meat items, water, and ice cream cones. They don't give receipts. You gotta go to the big stores for that.
-Some grocery stores only have food--no TP, shampoo, detergent. You either have to go to the Mega stores or the pharmacy for that.
- most stores, have a aisle devoted for liqueur (like both sides of an entire aisle)
-chocolate takes up another aisle.
- They sell scented toilet paper here. (peach, strawberry scents for your bum.)
- Doug ate something last night called a faggot sausage. Strange....just strange. (but Doug said it was good!)

- It is an insult to the driver to wear a seat belt.
-everyone carries a plastic bag here. They sell ones with designs on them of various sizes in the Metro shops.
- The nicer the car, the faster the driver seems to drive. Even on country, curvy roads.
- Our apartment has a bathroom (bathtub and sink), and a toilet room. The toilet room is smaller than a bathroom stall.

- If the building is 5 stories or less, there is no elevator. If the building is more than 5 floors, there is an elevator. (We are in the less category, and climb the stairs daily to our 3rd floor apartment).
- Many ladies dye their hair. Colors that you can tell are not natural--purple, orange, red. And coloring knows no age- I've seen young and old have un-natural colored hair.
- Doug says toast here tastes like toast does in America....(haha, funny guy!)
- Pickles on the other hand, taste way better in America!
- The old Babushkas (Grandmas) seem to carry the heaviest bags, full of groceries/produce.
- Despite what you may think, hand washing clothes is not that much fun. I need a good dryer to shrink some of my clothes back into shape!
- You have to pay for bags at the grocery. They are WAY sturdier than our plastic bags!
- Men carry purses. Some are small, like a large wallet on a strap, others are larger. We have coined these "murses" (rather than purses)
- There are ladies that get on the Metro and sell things--crayons, measuring tapes, tissues, anti-bacterial wipes, etc.. They change cars at each stop. Anti-bac wipes seems to be the most popular.

Well, that's the thoughts and random observations for now! :)

Prayers

2011-09-24T14:15:00.000-04:00

Here we are at the end of week 4 our our journey in Ukraine. We have been in country for 26 days. There is a great possibility that we will not have court until the week of October 3. That means we will have been in country for 6 weeks. We will come home after court, and 6 weeks in the country without the boys. Doug will still need to make a trip back to Ukraine to pick up the boys and complete paperwork.
We never dreamed we would be in Ukraine for a total of 8 weeks for our adoption. In 2007 we thought 42 days was a ridiculously long time, and we came home with Hannah after those 42 days! We did not expect to pay for an apartment ($60/night) for 6 weeks on the first trip, or $50/ride to the orphanage to see Max. We have been very careful how we spend our money in country, knowing that we still have some big expenses ahead of us. We still need to pay for passports (we are being told those will cost $600/child) and medicals for the boys ($150/child) and Visa fees at the Embassy ($404/child)-- that's $2,300. This doesn't even touch airfare for Doug and his Mom to return to get the boys and fly home. (our tickets were $760/ticket, one way).
I'm overwhelmed, but have to rest in that the Lord would not have brought us this far just to leave us stranded. And I know without a doubt, that we are not alone. He is with us every step of the way.
Our link to our Reece's Rainbow fund is still on the sidebar. It will be there until we get home, for good, with our sons in tow.
Will you at least say a prayer for us? For the girls? For those caring for the girls in our absence? Thanks.

Choosing to see

2011-09-22T15:52:00.000-04:00

Two visits in one day. One much longer than the other...more about that later!
Our little man only lasted 35 minutes this morning before becoming fussy (a quiet fussy. It's sad that he has learned in 15 months it doesn't do him any good to cry loudly or fuss, he doesn't get special attention for it in a group with few nannies), and then a few minutes of Mama rocking him, he was out cold. (In his defense, he typically naps between 10-12, but the caretakers are wonderful to let us come when we like.) I was happy just to rock him and watch him sleep. It also gave the two of us (Doug and I) time to discuss our afternoon visit. After an hour, we took little Mister back up to his groupa room, as the nanny that gave him to us today promptly put up 1 finger telling us we had 1 hour to visit.
We had planned to leave to visit Max at 2:00pm like normal, but a call from T our facilitator to tell us she had to go to the local administration and they would be here to pick us up at 1:35pm. We arrived home shortly before 6:00pm.
On our way out of the big city, we stopped at an official building (you know one of those with the blue metal plaque next to the door) and waited as T talked to someone outside the building. Then, on out to the town where Max lives, and stopped at the ministry building in town. Again, we waited outside while T went in. Then on to the orphanage. I think I was nervous, but the car ride almost got the best of me today...I felt gross! We waited for the kids to get out of class on our normal bench outside the school. I saw Max come out the door, then bound towards us. As soon as he was close, he knew something was up. We took a walk around the side of the building. Doug asked him if there was something that he wanted to tell us about that had happened in the summer. Then, as he said to me tonight, "I had this whole speech planned out, and you just took over....and I was like 'Wow, okay, she's got this handled!"
Max understands that his poor judgment and choice has made his adoption more challenging. He understands that to be a part of the Layne family, he must make better decisions. He hung his head, but looked at us when we asked him to. Without having to use a lot of English, we could tell that he was remorseful for his poor judgment. We were sure to remind him that we love him and know that he is capable of making good choices. I reminded him that I know he has a good heart.
He needs a family. A family that loves him despite his faults, who helps him wade through those murky waters of the life he's had in the past and the turmoil he has dealt with. We are well aware of the emotional scars he has and the physical ones too. We will look for help for him as he will need to sort all of his past out and look forward to a brighter future with a family that loves him--unconditionally.

We've seen the tough exterior of the 'orphan' each day we visit. We see the tough exterior that each child presents, the walls that they have had to build to keep the hurt cased inside those protective walls. Attitude abounds in this place. Without knowing the language, you can sense the angered tone in their voice as they yell to one another. Name calling is a common occurrence. To point out one's differences is to hide your own insecurities. Girls flirt and doll themselves up to get attention. The kids with the latest item is 'alpha'. One day it may be the new speaker to play music loudly, another day it may be the kid with the PSP. Kids will tell us they like the orphanage, but I can't help but wonder as I see this teen or that teen walk past the bench where I sit, what he or she would be like in a loving family. We have the chance to find that out with our boy. We have seen short glances of it during his visits to Ohio.
We are going into this with our eyes wide open. I remember last winter when he got angry and instead of yelling or talking about it, he ran to hide. I remember his first visit when he was so angry with me (he was little and 8 years old at the time) that I sat in his bedroom in front of his door, while he fumed, yelled and cried. Doug listened through the baby monitor and was ready to assist at any moment. We know there is much heartache to overcome. Yet, we cannot pass up the chance to help him work though the pain and see the joy that life has to offer him.
We are reminded of a quote by a very insightful man, who lived his life as Christ commanded- to look after the orphans and widows in their distress. Derex Loux was reminded of this during the adoption of his three sons, and said " My friends, adoption is redemption. It’s costly, exhausting, expensive, and outrageous. Buying back lives costs so much. When God set out to redeem us, it killed Him. And when He redeems us, we can’t even really appreciate or comprehend it..."

Some photos from the day. The nuts that were the culprit of my son's black hands. They looked like walnuts to us.

When we asked him what they were, he said "Nuts!" (and looked at me like I was nuts for calling them anything different!) When I translated walnuts on my phone into Russian, he looked at the word, studied it, then put his finger over the 'wal' part of the word, and said, "Mom, see, nut!" Okay, so a nut is a nut, no matter what shape size, or color in the eyes of a Ukrainian boy!

We've signed papers and they are being sent to the capital city tonight via the night train. The papers will be submitted to the SDA tomorrow morning. Please pray with us that the SDA finds favor and allows us to have court early next week. We need to have court by Thursday in order to be at the US Embassy on Friday. Court on Friday would mean that we are here until early next week. I am ready to be home with our girls, then for Doug to return and finish the last details and bring the boys home!

Today is a new day

2011-09-21T16:39:00.000-04:00

Last night I went to bed with a heavy heart, so much on my mind. We were both up late last night, so we woke up very late, but I think the extra sleep did us good. I woke with a refreshed attitude, reminding myself that all things are possible through God and that when we truly believe in HIM, he can conquer the "mountains" in our lives, making them seem like mere foothills.
We set out to see our sweet boy. The orphanage staff has been very gracious to us. We can walk into the building and directly up to the room where our little one spends his days. The head doctor told us that we are the only ones at the orphanage adopting right now, so everyone will know when the Americans arrive, we are there for little "Kostya".
After being bundled up (it was 76 degrees here today) we headed outside to spend our time together. There are several benches outside and a small amount of playground equipment. The grass in the play area is high and it is apparent that the equipment sees very little use. Many of the children at the orphanage are either too young or too disabled to use the playground equipment that is on the grounds. All around the grounds are buckeye trees. One has to be careful not to sit right under a tree or one might get knocked in the head with a falling buckeye! We have covered our heads and that of our little man's many times during our visits outside. Yesterday, he had great fun trying to get to my sunglasses on my head. Today, he was interested in Papa's head.

In the past few visits, our little man is pretty active and ready to interact with us for the first hour. After that time, he tends to get a little sleepy. The past two days he has fallen asleep in our arms. Today it was Papa's arms, yesterday it was Mama's. It is so sweet to see him so at peace, sleeping in the comfort of someone's arms. I just sit and watch him sleep, knowing that someday soon, there will be no more multiple Mamas to care for him, but the same Mama and Papa, day in and day out.

We have been taking the Metro (subway) to see our little man each day. Our trip costs us $.25 each way, so for a trip to and from the orphanage, $1.00. I enjoy the walk to and from the Metro from our apartment and to the orphanage. Our little man is on the outskirts of town, not in the big city. I feel at home in the area of "Kostya's" orphanage.
We had dinner tonight with Laurie, Bryan, Nate, and Diana. Mexican food.

Laurie and Bryan have been here before and knew from experience that they did not have sour cream. (How wrong is that--mexican food and no sour cream?!) Laurie came prepared--with her own sour cream! Dinner was yummy and the fellowship was wonderful.

Tomorrow we will venture out to visit both boys. We have much to talk about with our big boy. I am so grateful for our dear friend Anya who we can call to translate for us. I know my teenage son well. If I tried have a discussion with him in English, he would try to pull the "I don't understand" card, even though I know he understands a good bit of English!

Week 4

2011-09-20T14:11:00.000-04:00

We're in the beginning of week 4 in country. A week I had hoped that I would see at home. My sister had a baby today. The annual chicken supper is tomorrow at my parents' church. I had hoped to have 3 weeks at home with the boys once they got home. I miss the girls.
We had hope that we would have court this week. After some developing news today, we now know that court will not be until next week. After learning the details of the news, our facilitators; one here in our region and one in the capital city, asked us to go home and discuss the information with one another and let them know how we would like to proceed. I held myself together (pretty much), and then came back to the apartment and cried. We talked, we prayed. We talked more.
I would ask that you all pray for our big boy. Being a teenager is tough, especially with no parents to daily guide you and be a positive role model. Being an orphan, where teasing, fights, bribes, bets, and peer pressure is a daily occurrence is not an ideal life. Children make bad decisions, but that doesn't necessarily make the child a "bad" child. Unfortunately, orphans are sometimes looked at differently, and given different consequences. We know in our hearts that our boy has a good heart. I've seen the way he treats his sisters. I saw him interact with his new brother.
We (Doug and I) have a decision to make that will affect our family- each member of it. This decision will definitely effect our time-line to return home, and possibly add a third trip to Ukraine. We are thankful that in difficult moments we are able to depend on the One who is all Knowing. We know that HE holds the master plan for each of us, and for our family. And for that, we are thankful.
(Yes, I know many of you will be inquiring. No, at this point we will not share details. Thank you do understanding.)

Brothers

2011-09-18T16:08:00.001-04:00

Today is our 20th day in country. Today is the day one brother met another for the first time. I'll let you judge from the pictures, but I think the two brothers will get along just fine!

Great adventure, wonderful surprise

2011-09-17T15:40:00.000-04:00

Today we decided to venture out on our own to see Max. (Well, by ourselves, I mean the two of us, and Anya.) Anya called a cab company for us and a cab came to pick us up. The journey was a slower pace, but much enjoyed. The driver was a pleasant man, laughing about his GPS system always keeping him company, kinda like a stewardess, only he wished that she offered him tea or coffee!! :) When we arrived to the orphanage, our son was actually waiting for us!
We went up to Max's groupa and found many of his friends cooking! So sweet seeing teenagers huddled in a small make-shift kitchen cooking together with the guidance of one of their "Mamas". Today, in the small oven, a cake and Ukrainian soup. OH, the cake smelled delicious. Max's "Mama", showed us the kids craft room that the kids use during the colder, wet months. The children have made many beautiful things!

We had asked the director when we last visited, she had told us if Max behaved well and attended classes this week, he could leave the orphanage for the day and spend it in the city with us. When we went to talk to his "Mama", she asked if we would like to have him overnight...... Ummmm....SURE!
We ventured into the city, had lunch together, then met Carolina and Evelina and took them to McDonald's. Anya was able to talk to the families in Ohio that care very much for the girls, but after a while our teenager got antsy not being the center of attention. (Big sigh, roll of the eyes from Mama), so we excused ourselves and headed to the Metro to return to the apartment. Like a true Ukrainian--our boy had to be the first down the stairs, first on the Metro, first to the corner, first up the stairs, even though he had no idea where he was going! :)
When we returned to the apartment, we called his sisters, and then Max played games for a while on the iPad. Then, it was bath time!!! Doug put on his favorite Chris Tomlin music (to which he always comments "Dan" when listening to it!) and we let him take a nice, hot bath...complete with LOTS of soap! We then got out his clothes we brought him for court, and Doug washed the clothes he had on. Let's just say, he changed the water many times!

We waited for Anya to return, then we went to Pizza Bella for dinner. Max ordered spaghetti, Anya a salad, and Doug and I got pizza! During dinner we decided that we would go visit "Kostya" tomorrow. The orphanage had asked us to bring diapers for him, so on our way home we stopped to purchase diapers. Who knew, you can buy Pampers by the diaper? We bought a pack that had 4 diapers out of it! :)

Love this boy...he carried Anya's purse home! :)

Little Boy Blue

2011-09-16T17:13:00.000-04:00

After much waiting today, we left our apartment to head to the notary's office to sign papers. One of the papers was for the SDA requesting a court date and the other was for the passport office to request change of names for both boys when we apply for their passports. I thin if I understood correctly, once the SDA issues us permission for court, it could happen as early as the next day. Seeing as it is Friday, nothing will be submitted to the SDA until Monday. I would love to say that we could have court by the end of next week, but I truthfully think that might be wishful thinking.
After the notary, we headed out to the Baby House to see our little man. Not knowing how long we will be here and being introduced to the Metro (subway) we told our facilitator/driver combo that we would like to take the Metro home from the orphanage. They took us to the Baby House, showed us which way to go to get to the Metro and said their good-byes.
We are the only family currently adopting from "Kostya's" orphanage, so everyone knows that when the Americans show up, we are there to visit one very sweet little boy! The very sweet doctor told us that we could check in with her each day upon arrival, but said that she wasn't always in her office, so she showed us how to get to "Kostya's" groupa room. The nanny/caretakers in his groupa seem very nice. One nanny took us downstairs, showed us the stroller room and told us we could take our little man outside today.

One the way outside, "Kostya" kept bending backwards to look at the world around him. I have to wonder how many times he has seen the world outdoors. We had a great time visiting. Since he was bundled up, I didn't have a chance to try clothes on him, but just holding some up to him I would guess he is a 9 or 12 month size. He weighs 8 kilos, which is almost 16 pounds. (Hannah was 16 pounds when she came home at 3!)

We blew bubbles, played airplane, and gave lots of hugs and kisses. He found my necklace, so now that's one more thing I'll have to watch. I love to see him excited--he stiffens up his body and his little hands/feet turn out! Too cute! I got a giggle out of him today too.

When we returned him to his groupa, we asked what would be the best time to visit him. The nannies were very kind. In the end, they told us that he naps in the morning and late afternoon, but to come when we like. They would work around when we visit, and if he happens to fall asleep when we are visiting, we could just rock him! :) (Happy Mama!)

We made it home on the Metro, and I took notes, so I think we'll be able to find it with no problem! YEA! The metro ride is very cost effective! We had made plans to have the Maddex's so we waited at our Metro stop for them. A yummy dinner with friends and good fellowship...even if Bryan was in a hurry to get home and wash his hair! :)
Tomorrow we are going on another adventure--a bus ride out to Max's town for a visit. If he has been attending class and the director is there, we might be able to take Max for a longer visit!

Meeting our little man

2011-09-15T16:32:00.000-04:00

We arrived back in the region after midnight last night, so I emailed our facilitator to tell her we were back and we had all our paperwork in hand and let her know we were anxious to meet our little man. When I woke up and checked my email, there was one from her saying we needed to make copies of our paperwork before visiting. We arranged to have our paperwork picked up.
We got a call around noon to say that someone would be at the apartment in 10 minutes to pick up, so we quickly packed up a few toys and headed downstairs. We took a short ride to the outskirts of the city, then stopped at the regional administration building. We waited for our facilitator to get some needed documentation, then headed to the orphanage.
At the orphanage we met with the doctor's assistant who told us about our "Kostya". We learned he was born at 38 weeks. He was 7.5 pounds and 17" inches at birth. According to the doctor he is able stand holding on to the edge of his crib, roll over, and sit with assistance. Then they brought him into the room. OH-my-GOODNNESS, he is too much. I had to fight back tears. He sat on the doctor's lap and tried to get the papers she was reading!

Eating the paper the doctor gave him!

Trying to get the papers on the desk!

We were able to spend some time with "Kostya" while our facilitator worked on some paperwork. From our time visting we learned that "Kostya" is able to commando crawl, loves to lay/sit with his feet out in front of him (the kid is like Gumby!), likes Mama's mouth and likes to put his fingers in Mama's mouth. He has two bottom teeth, likes to put lots of things in his mouth, and likes music!

Papa has already told him that he will be Papa's official nap buddy....he even tried to convince him to nap with him today!

He is TOTALLY different from the girls (yes, I know, for obvious reasons)...he is SOOO limber. So limber that I wonder if his hips are "loose". Laurie told me that some DS kiddos have worn hip hugger shorts to promote their hips to stay where they should be. Here are just few of our favorite pictures from today, thanks to our wonderful photographer and friend, Anya.

Videos to come...when I can get them uploaded! :)

Second day in Kiev

2011-09-14T14:43:00.001-04:00

Our second day in Kiev was an eventful learning experience. We learned how to ride the tram, how to store our luggage at the train station, build our endurance walking up a very long hill to the SDA, learned to be patient both in a restaurant with very slow service and at the SDA waiting for our referral. We learned how to sit for 6 hours on a train facing someone we did not know and someone who did not speak our language. We learned how to take the last train/subway from the train station all the way to our metro stop. We learned how to be confident walking dark streets after midnight. I can honestly say that we were able to keep our sanity thanks to Anya who helped us every step of the way.
Our referral was suppose to be ready early due to the fact we had to catch a 5:00pm train out of the capital city. Referrals are typically issued from 4-5pm, but we were told ours would be ready early. We arrived a few minutes before 3:00pm and called our contact person. I must have misunderstood the day before, I thought we were meeting someone there that would help us understand the language and help us pick up the referral. The team must have more confidence than I have in myself. We were given directions via phone on where to go and wait. Our name should be called and we could sign the papers needed and pick up the referral.
We went as instructed and waited the amount of time that we were told, plus some. A few people came in and out the door, some to submit paperwork, some to ask questions, some to have appointments. Then, a lady came out the door, looked towards us and asked us something, which I did not understand. Thankfully Anya was with us and when the lady asked "And you, what are you here for?" Anya was able to tell them we needed to pick up our referral letter. Some more waiting, then a second lady came out with the needed paperwork.
We had to wait on a facilitation team member to pay for our apartment for the night and turn in the apartment key. Let's just say we waited long enough that we began to wonder if we would make our train!
I would say that today was one of the most frustrating days in the process. I'm not sure if it was that wires were crossed, mis-communication or lack of communication.
Thankfully we made it back to the apartment safely and can look forward to seeing "Kostya" tomorrow.

Overnight train to Kiev

2011-09-13T16:06:00.000-04:00

Yesterday after much searching, tickets were found for the overnight train to the capital city. We were picked up at our apartment at 11:00pm. As we were driving to the train station, our driver explained that it was such a challenge to find tickets due to many students traveling back and forth this time of year. He said he had to purchase tickets from someone, rather than the ticket office at the train station. He continued to tell us that the train was cheap, and it was nothing fancy, so that's what you expect when you get the cheap train. We were just ready to head to the capital city. WELL...let's just say, he wasn't kidding! The train was old! We got up onto the train and it had the scent of an old train, powered by coal. We found our dimly lit cabin for 4 and piled in. We attempted to turn more lights on in our cabin, but half of the cabin's electricity didn't work. SO we sat, in a dimly lit cabin. Once the train started moving, additional lights came on. Anya provided us a delicious late night snack of nutra-"smoosh" bars. (Nurta-grain bars that were smooshed!). We asked for tea on the train, and the train attendant said because the train was so slow, there wasn't enough power to make tea.

After much laughter, we unrolled our bed mats and got ready for bed around 2:00am (according to Anya and Doug). This is the first time on the train that I have ever been cold! I think there was a leak in the window and so cold air kept coming into the cabin.
We arrived in the capital city shortly after 9:00am. A call from our driver to say he was stuck in traffic and to wait on the platform for him. After about 20 minutes, he arrived and off we went. He informed us that we were going directly to our SDA appointment at 10:00am. (We had no idea what time our appointment was before this morning!) GREAT! I was in a t-shirt and yoga pants--clothes that were comfortable to sleep in. Doug and I apologized, and our facilitator said that everyone knew we had come straight from the train and not to worry about it.
Up the stairs of the SDA building to sign a log book, then back out. Our facilitator said that our official appointment was at 2:00pm, so to go walk around the capital city and he would see us back at 2:00pm. Since I refuse to go tot he bathroom on the train, our first objective was to find a BATHROOM! Thank goodness for McDonalds--clean bathrooms, comfort American food, and free Wi-fi. Anya, Doug, and I had brunch at 10:30 and then set out to see the sites of the capital city. We stopped into the pharmacy to pick up some pain reliever for my headache (since mine was in my bag, in the trunk of our driver's car, somewhere in the capital city). The pharmacist asked if I wanted something really strong...um, no thank you. Could you imagine a parent who was completely out of it during an SDA appointment? We sat outside the pharmacy and took in the sights (two love birds on the bench in front of us, making out. PDA is over the top here. Oh yes, and the low rise jeans and thongs are a great pair...I thought I was going to fall off the bench when I heard my Ukrainian friend refer to it as "butt floss") and sounds of the city. The sounds were protesters- either in support or opposition of the prime minister of Ukraine. She was in court today, close to where we were sitting.

We bought the girls traditional Ukrainian embroidered shirts. I can't wait to see them in their shirts!

One our walk back to the SDA we noticed all the buckeye trees. Anya told us that they are chestnut trees. I looked up and there are very few differences between the two trees! So we picked up a leaf from the tree, a nut in the shell, and a nut. Here is what we found.

At 1:30 we were back at the SDA, waiting for our 2:00pm appointment. A few minutes after 2:00 we went into the room at the SDA and she got out our little man's file. His file is small since he is only 16 months old. We did learn that he was born to a single mother and he had no brothers or sisters. They always ask if after hearing his file if we would like to meet him. YES! Tomorrow we will pick up little man's referral, and head out on the evening express train and return to the boys region at 11:30pm.
After our appointment there were train tickets to purchase and an apartment key to locate--what a fiasco! We were glad to be in our apartment, and to sit after going, going, going all morning. We had dinner at TGI Fridays (OY, I ate to much, but it tasted so good). As we were leaving, an old lady was begging for money. I love our Anya...she said something to the lady and then gave her the leftovers she had from dinner! When I asked what she had told the lady, Anya said she told the lady she had no money to give her, but she had food she could have. The lady was very appreciative.
Clothes are out of the washer and hanging to dry, Doug is reading, and as he says "the girls are getting their internet fix".
Tomorrow, we hope to visit the Chernobyl museum, then pick up our referral, and head back to the region. On Thursday, we will see our little man! Oh, how I can't wait!
Hannah & Mila- Mama and Papa miss you so much! Be good for Grandmas/Grandpas.

A Walk with our Son

2011-09-12T15:22:00.000-04:00

Max has been asking about walking into town that his orphanage is near. The last two Saturdays we have seen him, he has been out gallivanting and we've had to wait 30 minutes for him. So today, with Anya's help, we asked if we could walk to town with him. Anya signed a paper saying she would be responsible for him and away we went.
There was some stern talking to from an official before we left the grounds. Seems our boy had "a sick belly" this morning and didn't go to class. Later in our visit we saw a lady that works in the infirmary and our son gladly told us 'that is the lady I ran away from today'. (insert a Mama's grumble and eye roll!)
We had a nice walk to a little kiosk at the end of the road where we stopped for ice cream cones. The lady working noticed we were Americans and asked if we were taking Max home. She told us that he was a good boy and to bring him up right. We walked on into the center of town and to a magazine (store) and got Coca-Cola. Max was looking for Ramen Noodles, but we were not successful finding any at the store, so he picked a pack of crackers instead. (The pack of Ramen Noodles we brought him today he smashed up, out the seasoning packet on, and ate out of the bag like chips.)

On the walk back to the orphanage, it was fun to walk behind the boys, watching Max study his Papa and imitate him. Once Doug noticed him doing it, he started to walk funny and do all sorts of crazy things for Max to imitate. It was a good walk, one that it was just us and Max and the kid I know and love came back--the kid who knows how to make good choices and one that is kind.
When we got back to the orphanage we went in to the director's office to see about possibly having Max for the day on Saturday. The director was very kind and told us that as long as Anya was with us, he could spend the day with us. She then told Max that she would allow this if for the rest of the week he followed the rules and attended class. I was so glad to see the director be attentive, not letting him get away with anything. I then wanted to remind him in the director's presence that his Papa and I agreed that school was important both in Ukraine and in Ohio. For now he is still in Ukraine and he needed to do the best he can do while he is here.
We spent some extra time visiting today until all the children went into the building to work on homework. Anya told us it is very typical for children in the orphanage to have a set homework time from 5-7pm. Our facilitator had some paperwork to do at the orphanage today, so once she had completed what she needed to do, we headed back to the city.
We met Laurie and Bryan for dinner and introduced Anya to them. Then, in typical fashion, we stopped for gelato! On the walk home, we stopped at a store that had all kinds of hair accessories and jewelry. Doug and I picked out a couple things for the girls. I can't wait to give them to the girls. I think Hannah will like the bag they came in as much as the stuff! :)

We are back at the apartment, packed up our things and will head to the train station at 11:00pm. We will arrive in the capital city tomorrow morning at 9:00am. We have an appointment with government officials to go over our little man's history and officially tell the government officials that yes we would like to visit him. There is a possibility that we might be able to pick up the referral yet tomorrow. If not, we will spend the night in the capital city and head back to the boys' region by train Wednesday night. We will get to meet our little man either Wednesday or Thursday!
Please pray for our friends Bryan and Laurie Maddex. They have been in country for 38 days. They are waiting for an appeal date to take the son they love dearly home. Doug and I know what it is like to be in a foreign country for a LONG time. While we love spending time with them here in the region, I would love even more to hear they have a court date so that they can take their precious son home to meet his three ornery brothers!

Sunday stroll (day 14 in country)

2011-09-11T12:03:00.002-04:00

This morning we were up at a decent hour and got ready for church. Hash browns and peanut butter toast for breakfast before church.
We walked to Calvary Chapel this morning and found it just fine on our own. It is so interesting to hear scripture in another language and then have it translated. We knew many of the songs today, though only about half of them were translated. Those that weren't translated were good to listen to and hear voices sing in unison to praise the Lord.
After church, we walked to McDonald's and had lunch. In Ukraine, they have two different kinds of potatoes--the typical french fries and then seasoned potato wedges. Anya helped me order potato wedges with my chicken sandwich! And they have sweet and sour sauce here, so I am a happy girl!
Since the weather was nicer today, we decided we would take the Metro (subway) to a large outdoor market and try to find Doug a jacket. (I tried to convince him to bring one from home...) We found a black jacket (he'll fit in, black is the way to go) and pants set. A little pricy, but not NEAR the price for the jackets we saw in stores yesterday! And my hubby will be warm! He returned to the apartment and tried his outfit on!

When we walked out of the outdoor market, I saw the car I want! Too bad they don't make them in the US! It is a Mercedes-Benz Vito. It is a 10 passenger van that isn't much bigger than our mini vans back home. It has many options for how to configure the seats. (Yes, I have WAY too much time on my hands...still it's fun to dream!)

We stopped at a large grocery store on the way home-BILLA. Doug thought it was cool the kind of tea you can find here!

The store below our apartment is a kids furniture store. They canged the window display this week. Look at the cool angry birds chair that is in the window!

Doug is a happy boy. Tonight he found a way to hook the cables we brought with us to the TV here so we can watch movies on the television, rather than cuddling up to the iPad!

14 days in the country, a full two weeks, and we still have not met our little man. :( Will you continue to pray for our family, those in Ohio caring for our girls as well as us here in Ukraine--for the boy we love so much and for the boy we can't wait to meet!

Short visit, a trip to the doctor

2011-09-08T15:20:00.000-04:00

Before we left home, I thought I was getting an ear infection, so I went to Urgent Care to have it looked at. The doctor was in and out in less than 5 minutes, told me i had wax in my ear and that the nurse would be in to flush my ear out. (Which hurt like crazy by the way!) My ear didn't feel 100%, but I hesitantly believed the doctor and went on my way.
Fast forward two weeks, and last night I was in some major pain. I've always had issues with ear infections and due to the amount of pain and some other signs, I was pretty sure I had an ear infection and had to break down and seek medical attention. Jasmina was nice enough to give me some ideas that might help, but strongly suggested I see an ENT (thanks J!) 800mg of Ibuprofin later, the pain was manageable and i went to bed. When I woke up this morning and the pain was less, but knowing we were nearing the weekend, I wasn't sure I wanted to put it off. I emailed our facilitator, knowing she would know where to go for medical attention.
We went to see Max at our normal afternoon time. It took a while longer to get there today because a local road was closed and we had to stop and ask the locals how to get there. Max wasn't expecting us because we had told him we would be heading to the capital city, but thankfully when we arrived his good buddy Vladim, was at the gate and ran to get Max for us. We talked outside for a while, watched the two boys climb trees like monkeys, and swing on tree branches. (I was really worried I was going to witness someone breaking an arm or leg from falling from the tree.) I kept saying "be careful" in Russian to the boys.

It started to sprinkle, so we went inside to Max's room to play Uno.
Sadly, the teenager I witnessed today, was not the one I'm use to at home. Since he had a friend around, there was a lot of Russian flying, giggles, and devious plans implemented. There was so much of this Mama who wanted to tell him "either play fair, or don't play", but I bit my lip. He could tell by my expression that I wasn't pleased with his attitude today.
About 15 minutes before our departure time, our facilitator called to say she had made me an appointment to see the doctor in 45 minutes. We quickly told Max we had to go and headed out the door.
Into the city we went, picking up our facilitator; T, through a lot of traffic, and onto a back street where we reached our location. When we pulled up, I noticed the sign had an eye on it, but thought maybe many doctors group together. Once in the building, T spoke to me and I turned to apologize because she was on the side that I couldn't hear out of my ear. She suddenly said, "Oh, it's your ear? I'm sorry, I thought you had said your eye." And then we both knew we were in the wrong place! We got back in the car, T made another phone call and we were quickly at a medical clinic.
When we arrived, we had to pay a fee upfront. (The equivalent of $13.13, 105 grevna) We then went upstairs and walked down a long hall that had many doors and a bench outside each door. We waited about 15 minutes outside the door, and then it was our turn.

We walked into a small room. The picture of the room is still fresh in my mind. (I wish we could have taken pictures. Mom- I think I understand house calls from Doc Hosler now!) I felt like I had walked into an episode of M.A.S.H. The tools were all metal, there were several glass bottles on a table, a glass cabinet with medical tools in it, and a small metal/glass case that had the word, "ultraviolet" on it. (Let me just say that upon walking into the office, I prayed almost the entire time until we walked out the door.)
I sat in a chair and the doctor asked me to describe the pain, and T translated for me. The doctor then asked me to move to another chair, under the light. She then proceeded to put a mirrored headband on. Instead of the medical tools we are use to in America, with lights to look in your ears, nose, throat, this doctor used her mirror, the light, and metal tools. I think at one point she told me something about tonsillitis, but I'm not sure. She used a small metal funnel looking tool to look into my nose and ears. She took one look into my left ear and let out a big "OY!" (no kidding, that's why I came to the doctor!)

She gave me a small metal bed pan looking thing, put a towel on my shoulder, and attached a long metal straw to a plastic syringe. She irrigated my ear several times, then looked at it again. When T translated, the doctor told me I had a tumor in my ear. (GREAT, a tumor....in a foreign country....WONDERFUL!) She informed me it would need surgery...but not here, in America when I got home. (Shew, thank you Lord!) She asked if anyone had ever told me this before, which they haven't. (Although I do know I have a hole in my eardrum). She then dropped a small piece of gauze into a brown glass bottle, and placed it in my ear along with some cotton. (It burned like crazy) She told me I would need to do this 3 times a day and come back and see her on Saturday (YEA) because she needed to irrigate my ear again and I couldn't do that myself!

We then had to stop and pay for the procedure the doctor had done (70 grevna, equivalent to $8.75) and then headed to the pharmacy with the list of medications. A bottle of ointment, and three boxes of medication cost 166 grevna (equivalent to $20.75). Once home, I waited for T to confer with the medical translator, and then she emailed me instructions on what medication to take when and how much.

So after Doug fixed dinner, he rewarded me for being a big girl at the doctor (although I felt like I was going to pass out at one point....I didn't) and took me for gelato.

On the walk home we stopped in a pharmacy to look for cotton balls. No luck. So I got cotton pads I tear up. I have ointment that has to go in my ear three times a day.
A new experience. Not one that I necessarily want to do again (oh wait, I have to on Saturday), but I survived, and it's one to put in the memory book!

Day 9, Exploring with friends

2011-09-07T16:16:00.000-04:00

Today was full of adventure. We did two loads of laundry in the bathtub and went out exploring with friends.
We planned to see Max tomorrow, so today we claimed as Laundry day! We don't have a washer in our apartment (boo) so we had to do all our laundry by hand. The first mission was to find laundry detergent. Many groceries have only food items, so we were unsuccessful finding detergent there. Then I thought maybe we could find it at a pharmacy. No luck there either. The other day we noticed detergent at a little market, but Doug said it was extremely high in price. After looking multiple places with no luck, we went to the little market and bit the bullet to buy the high priced detergent. Thankfully, the price was not near what we had thought-- it was on a high shelf and we had not seen the decimal point!
With detergent in hand, it was time to use our new learned knowledge from Wikipedia of how to wash clothes by hand to use. Doug put water in the tub, then some detergent, mixed it by hand until it dissolved, then added the clothes.

Together we rinsed and rung out each article of clothing. Our apartment has a balcony with a clothesline, so we hung much of our clothing out there. (Thankfully the balcony is glassed in, so none of our socks or underwear are flying over the city!)

We had plans to meet Laurie and Bryan at 3:30 and go to the zoo. I enjoy going to the zoo wherever we travel. It is so neat to see the difference in the atmosphere and the animals they have. What we have found is that the animals are in smaller enclosures than what we are use to at home and many animals are closer to you than what they allow you to be at home. Maybe that's because in America they do everything they can to protect you and your stupidity and here they acknowledge that people either know better than to jump in and swim with the hippos or if they don't--well, natural consequences! So many people bring food/scraps to feed the animals.
Here are just a few pictures/videos I took today.

After the zoo, we went to a local Ukrainian cafeteria. It is a place that has all kinds of foods and you can read the translation of the food items and point to what you want. We got a huge amount of food (so many things to try) for $12!

I had borscht, chicken, dill potatoes, and a yummy dessert.

After dinner, it was time for gelato. OH-my-goodness. I was in heaven! This cute little shop had 10 different flavors of gelato. Doug got pistachio, I had strawberry, Laurie had yogurt, and Bryan had chocolate. It was DELICIOUS! I would gladly walk the 45 minute trek back for more! There is a place we spotted on our walk home that has gelato that we are going to have to try tomorrow!!

Stay....

2011-09-06T14:08:00.001-04:00

Yep, we now know that we will be staying here in region through the weekend. We had thought we would be heading out on a train tonight to go back to the capital city, but it turns out not to be the case.
Several weeks ago a judge in the region our boys are in ruled that a child with Mosaic Down Syndrome was un-adoptable per the new law. The new law lists that children under 5 are available for adoption by foreigners, only if they have one of the disabilities/diagnoses listed in the new law. Down Syndrome IS on that list, but it did not list specific types of Down Syndrome. The family is appealing the ruling, and I have no doubt it will be over-ruled, but in the meantime, the SDA in the capital city is hesitant to issue appointments to families wanting to adopt kiddos under 5 with DS.
The head minister (aka government official) in our region is writing a statement that will be turned into the SDA at the beginning of next week. The hope is that once this letter is issued, appointments will continue. So until then, we will wait here in region and visit our big boy. That being said, I am so glad we stayed in region. We were given the option when we arrived on Friday to go right back to the capital city and wait for our second appointment. We would have (or at least I would have been) been fit to be tied sitting in the capital city without our boy, waiting for a week for our second appointment.
Doug said it best today as we were both frustrated and saddened. He said "we need to make each day the best it can be". How true. Take each day as it comes. Make it memorable.
And so, we ventured out this evening looking for a supermarket. There are several little markets on our street, but nothing where we could get many items. After walking 10-12 blocks, we found a nice sized grocery. So tonight, back at the apartment, we fixed spaghetti and garlic toast! YUM!
We've talked to Laurie and Bryan and headed out to meet them at the Metro to go have a drink.

Laurie and I. The guys thought it would be weird to pose for a picture together!

Sparkling wine. :)

I am thankful today that my girls are well cared for and happy with Grandma/pas and our awesome O.T. We are blessed to have great people in our lives that care for us and the girls!

One of my favorite meals

2011-09-05T15:09:00.000-04:00

One of my favorite things to fix in Ukraine--Potatoes and onions.

We put a couple red potatoes in the skillet with butter. And add some of my favorite Italian seasoning.

Then chop up some onions (with butter of course) and I add a little sugar to sweeten the onions and make them caramelize.

Lastly I fry up some Ukrainian kielbasa. Just enough to brown it. (too much and it turns into jerky!)

Throw it all together and it's one of my favorite meals to fix here in Ukraine. I'm not sure why, but it just doesn't taste the same at home.

And for dessert tonight, ice cream cones.

Yummy!

Monday visit, 9/5

2011-09-05T12:26:00.000-04:00

Up at 8:00am to a ringing doorbell. Doug looked out and didn't know the man standing at the door, so didn't answer it. (We've been given instructions not to answer the door if we don't know the person--makes good sense.) A few minutes later, T called and asked if we had let the man in. (Uh, no.) She then told us it was the guy who was going to fix the internet in the apartment, so to let him in! :) (Ooops!)After about 20 minutes, the gentleman had the internet fixed in the apartment and was on his way. I was still tired and have had some ear pain on & off, so I went back to bed for another hour. :)
This morning we went to exchange money, then to our little market down the street that the three ladies that work there know us as "America". (So cute!) We bought a few potatoes, onions, and a fruit which we have yet to find in the US, but Doug enjoyed very much the last time we were here in Ukraine. It is a persimmon. After eating his today, he declared "It's official, we have to come back to Ukraine and adopt again, so I can have this fruit." (I think it might be cheaper to truck in persimmons!)

A yummy lunch, then time to get ready for a visit with Max. I called Y, who is in the capital city to see if she had heard when our appointment was, so that we could tell Max when we would see him next. Y said she submitted things today, so she would know tomorrow, but to get tickets for the overnight train Tuesday and be in the capital city Wednesday morning.
We took the laptop with us to the orphanage so that we might be able to let Max and the girls talk. When we arrived, we asked a lady, who turned out to be his English teacher. She said he was still in class, but she would let him know we were there. About 15 minutes later, and a phone call from T, Max came outside.
We were able to go into school and upstairs to his English classroom and sit where it was quiet to call the girls. Being 7 hours ahead of Ohio time, the girls were still in their pajamas, bedhead and all. There wasn't a lot of conversation, but I think the three kids had a good time just seeing one another.
Once we had talked to family, Max had a chance to talk to Dasha and Angie at home. It is interesting to listen to a child in Ukraine who knows English, and a child in Ohio, who knows Russian, converse. Dasha remembers her Russian language well, so the conversation between the two was in Russian. She told Max to be a good boy! :)
After Skyping, we went outside and Max showed us around the orphanage grounds. We talked about what our time in Ukraine would look like and what he could expect. He understands that he will be gaining a brother in addition to the two sisters he has at home waiting for him. He understood that he will have to go to court and answer questions that the judge asks of him. I think he is ready, but wants a concrete date of "when", and that we do not have.
We finished our visit with a little bit of video games and Mama video taping him and pestering him. :) A Max video wouldn't be complete without the signature Max eye-crossing! :)

Sundays with Laurie

2011-09-04T10:07:00.001-04:00

...Sounds like a good Movie title, hugh? Tuesdays with Maurey, Sundays with Laurie! :)
We met Laurie and Bryan this morning at the McDonald's and headed for church. It is so nice to be able to have a tangible American to talk to. Although we have experienced Ukraine adoption before, we have not experienced K**ov life as long as the Maddex's have, so it is nice to know someone who has figured out the town.

Laurie and Bryan knew of a family and church through acquaintances from home, and have attended the church last week. The assistant pastor is originally from Cleveland, Ohio. What a small world! The service was translated into English so we could follow the sermon and read along in our bibles. There were even several worship songs that they had translated into English! (and I understood a word here and there of the ones that were sung in Russian.)

After church we talked with Nate (the assistant pastor, originally from Ohio) and his wife Deanna, who is from Ukraine. (She translated the service, so speaks fluent English). It was nice to hear Nate talk about the differences in cultures and how he adjusted to life in Ukraine.

A late lunch with Laurie and Bryan at Pizza Bella--one of the places Laurie and Bryan have figured out that have English menus. As we looked at pizza options, we assumed that the "Bella" pizza had cheese, ham, pineapple, and banana peppers on it, even though it said 'bananas', it had to be something that got lost in translation. WELL....when Doug and Brian's pizza came out, it had BANANAS on it. Not exactly what the boys were hoping for. But, when in Ukraine, do as Ukrainians would do....and eat it. Well, Doug ate it. Poor Bryan can't eat bananas, so he ended up with a pile of banana slices on the side of his plate.
We walked back to our apartment to see if Bryan could get the internet figured out on our laptop. After trying with no success, we set out for an cell phone shop. We got on the Metro (an underground railway system) that Laurie and Bryan are quite good at navigating, to get to the shop.
We were able to purchase a cell phone modem that hooks into the USB drive of our laptop, so we have internet again. (I feel like a real person again!)
We said goodbye to Laurie and Bryan and headed back to the Metro, hoping we could navigate our way back home by ourselves. We got on the correct Metro and knew we needed to go one stop and then transfer trains. Well, when we got to the bottom of the second platform, Doug thought we needed to get on one train and I thought another. Here was my rationalization (which turned out to be wrong in a sense)--we came from this direction and the strairway was on our left, so we need to go on this train (this was the part that was correct), plus I remember coming in on a yellow& red train, and the other one is blue, so we obviously need to go that way. (that part was wrong--many color trains are on the tracks!) The important part is we made it back!
We got home, were able to skype with the girls and with my sisters, nieces, and parents who were all together for Sunday lunch.
Tomorrow, back to the orphanage to visit our boy!

Saturday in the city

2011-09-03T15:43:00.000-04:00

Up after a restful night of sleep, hoping that the internet in our apartment would be fixed. The owner came to try to help, but unfortunately was unsuccessful. A call from Tatiana to check on our whereabouts told us it was time to head downstairs for the car waiting for us.
Down to the car for another adventurous ride to visit Max. The roads here are not anything like in America, and we see many potholes on our ride. A quick stop to see Laurie and Bryan, then on to the orphanage.
Max had said to visit him at 10:00am and by the time we got to the orphanage it was 10:30.
On weekends the staff is different and because the children do not have school, they have much more freedom on the weekends. We arrived shortly after 10:30 and there were very few people outside. One boy was outside and our driver conversed with him in Russian, asking of Max's whereabouts. After many children either coming outdoors, sticking their heads out windows, or yelling Max's name, an adult came outside to tell us that Max had just walked to the market and would be back soon. We waited 30 minutes and he finally arrived--with Ramen Noodles in hand. (This boy could eat Ramen noodles every meal and be happy!)
We played a game of Uno and talked about when we would visit, our trip back to the capital city, and when we would return to see him. Oh yes, and there was candy involved--another Max favorite. I brought several kinds of candy with us, things I know he enjoys. I didn't leave it with him though. I know there has to be much talk about the orphanage about him going to America and having a family. I am aware that other children could be jealous or angry. Things get taken away, stolen. So I kept the candy with me, for another day, another visit.

Oh yes, and wrestling/play fighting with Papa. Another Max favorite. The kid acts all big and bad until Papa gets him, then he cries like a girl asking to be let go.
On the way back to the apartment, our driver stopped and let us exchange money and took us to a large supermarket. We then came home and made two of my favorite Ukrainian meals today--fried Kielbasa sandwiches--Ukrainian style. (No top piece of bread) and for dinner, fried potatoes, onions and kielbasa! Yummo!

Friday's first visit

2011-09-03T03:55:00.000-04:00

Up at 5:00am to be ready for a 5:45 pick-up to head to the express train. Down to the van and our driver handed us tickets. He said he bought us three tickets so we didn't have to sit next to anyone who might want to practice his/her English or the possibility of sitting next to someone who was drunk.
We arrived to the train station in time, and our driver helped us find the right train car, helped me put my luggage on the car, and showed us where to sit. The express day train has first class cabins with three seats in each cabin. We were in the very last cabin of the train! Our driver told the stewardess that we didn't speak English and to please let us know when we had reached our destination stop. (It was the last one!)

It was nice taking the day train. In the daylight, you can see the scenery and the farmland. I got to see many sunflower fields. Sadly, most are past the prime, and have started to die. I can only imagine what those fields look like when they are in their peak. Sunflower fields as far as the eye can see. I also enjoyed the small villages we passed and the random cow or goat on a chain hooked to a cement block out close to the tracks.

When we arrived in Max's region, we had been given instructions to get out of the train car and stand on the platform and wait for our driver. No, we had no idea what he looked like or what his name was. (Lots of this trip is blind faith!) A man came up to us and asked "You speak English?" Yes. "I'm _____, I speak no English. Let's go." And off we went with gusto. The driver explained where our facilitator in few words he knew in English and we took it to mean we would see her later. On the way to pick her up, we dropped off a tire. Once we picked her up and headed to the orphanage, we stopped back and paid for the tire.
When we arrived in Max's town, we stopped at an official building (it's easy to know official buildings because they all have large plaque on the front of the building.) and were told to wait in the car. First our facilitator went into the building, then our driver went in (the facilitator and driver are husband and wife). Doug and I sat in the back seat of the car and took in the local sights. After about 30 minutes, the driver came out and we waited a few minutes longer for our facilitator and a local official. Off we went to the orphanage.
The orphanage sits outside the village on a plot of land that stands alone. The buildings are large, and there is fence all around the premises. (The fence is typical). I was concentrating on following our facilitator into the building and towards the director's office. DOug was behind me, and I overheard him say "There he is!" and when I turned around, Max was there, giving Papa a hug. Then I got a hug. Someone said to us "he has been waiting since yesterday for you." When our facilitator peeked out the door to see why we hadn't followed, I said to her "this is Max", and then she understood.
Max came into the director's office. Many questions were asked of him and of us. They then told Max that since he is an adult (in Ukraine that is at 14!) he would need to write an official letter stating that he wanted to be adopted.

Once the official letter was written, we were free to go outside and visit while the team completed some additional items. We visited for about an hour outside. Max's first question to us- "Where Hannah? Where Mila?" Then he asked Papa if he had his phone and if he could have it. Max went straight to the iPod and found his favorite Chris Tomlin album to listen to. Max's good friend came over to where we were sitting.The two boys looked at pictures and played games on our phones. We sat and chatted with Max while he played. It was good to be in the presence of our boy again.

It is different. We are use to visiting with him in America. I know how he interacts with us at home, but here, obviously, it is different. He has an image to uphold. He has peers he lives with. And so, we try to understand the difference in Max, praying that there are not consequences from others' jealousy that he has to deal with because of us being here for him.

We piled back into the car after our visit and agreed to visit again tomorrow. We dropped the inspector off in town, then headed back towards the large city to find a notary. One the way, we picked up the tire that had been dropped off and paid for.
In the city, we found a notary, and two official documents were drafted. One document stated that we wished for a second appointment at the SDA to see Eli's paperwork, and the other was an official statement that yes, we wanted to adopt Max. Once the documents were complete, we were back in the car to find our apartment.
Up four flights of stairs and behind two doors was a very nice apartment. We put down our things and the landlord showed us the apartment. She showed us how to lock the door behind her as she left.
There is another family here in the region that I have been following their blog. Laurie had said once we got into the city to call them, and that we did. We agreed to meet at the McDonald's at the end of street (which is a 15 minute walk away). We met them, jumped on the metro, and headed to an Italian restaurant for dinner. It was good to finally meet Laurie and Bryan after reading so much about their journey. A great dinner with new friends. A perfect ending to a long first day in the region.

Last Day in Capital City

2011-09-01T12:13:00.000-04:00

Last night neither one of us could sleep, so we cuddled up next to the iPad and watched the Borne Identity. It was over around 3:00am our time. Since we went to bed late, we woke up late. We worked on folding clothes that we had washed and layed out to dry to get ready for our train ride tonight. Niko came to pick us up at our apartment around 3:30 to go take us back to the SDA. As we know all to well, in any adoption, expect the unexpected. Niko told us that there were no train tickets for tonight's train, and tomorrow's day train was sold out as well. But don't worry he told us. He had connections and he was almost sure he could get us tickets on tomorrow's express train.
When we arrived, it was a few minutes before 4:00pm and we knew we had some time to wait because they hand out referrals (permission to visit the child) between 4-5pm. We milled around, looking at the work being done to the church that sits next to the SDA. For those of you who have been here, we were told that in September the cobblestone street will be pulled up and they will pave the street in front of the SDA!

All around the entire church is dug up!

Right behind the gates was a big hole that was hand dug!

Gotta love a goofy husband!

In true Ukrainian fashion, they began at 4:30pm. We were the second family to go in and pick up our paperwork.

Sign outside the door of the SDA

Back to the apartment with a translated dossier, permission to visit our big boy, and some extra papers for Tatiana.

We decided since we had time tonight, why not walk back up the hill to have McDonald's for dinner. I know this sounds crazy, but McDonald's always tastes better overseas. When you order, of course the menu is in cyrillic, but we got lucky enough that the cashier spoke some english. When you order a combo here, you tell them you want a "menu"?! :)

And if you want ketchup, you have to ask for it, and pay for it!

So knowing that we had a 5 hour train ride tomorrow, we stopped at the grocery and got bottles of water and some snacks for the train. We also got some ice cream!

We leave on the train tomorrow morning at 6:30 and should arrive at 11:30. I want to hit the ground running. If at all possible we first plan to see Max, then work on getting the paper stating "yes we want to adopt this child" so it can be sent back to the capital city and submitted on Monday! I want to work as hard and as fast as we can to get back to the capital city and back to BOTH boys and work towards court. I enjoy the country, but don't plan to be here as long as we were the last time around. (42 days in 2007 for those who don't know!)

SDA appointment

2011-08-31T05:54:00.001-04:00

We were picked up at our apartment at 10:30 by a driver who spoke no English. At one point he showed Doug and I his phone (I think to ask if the address he had to take us to was correct) but seeing as how I don't read Cyrillic, Doug just shrugged his shoulders. Thankfully we arrived at the correct location!
When we arrived Yulia was waiting on us. She told us that today we would have our appointment for our big boy. Because the boys are not siblings and they weren't at the same orphanage, we would have to have two separate appointments at the SDA.
We waited what seemed like forever and even though our appointment was scheduled at 11:00am, I didn't surprise me when it turned out to be 11:30 before we went into the office. As we stood outside waiting, I listened to Yulia talk to people who passed, and at one point I head her say 'tomorrow'. (Sometimes knowing a little of the language is worse--you pick up on just a few key words!)
When we went into the little office, his picture was on the top of the file! It was him, his file, waiting for us! It seemed a bit surreal. We sat there quietly and as I looked at his picture, memories came back to me. There was a night, many years ago, near the end of one of his visits in Ohio, had his head on my lap. He said to me "Mama- Karina, America. Dasha, America. Roma, America. Why I no America?" Our journey has been long, but I am hopeful, this time it will have a happy ending with a forever home.
As we sat and waited for the official, I showed Yulia the pictures we brought. I shared with her about our family and how Amy is a part of society and holds a job. I love to see their reaction! People here are so surprised to hear that Amy talks, walks, and has a job! It is so sad that children with disabilities are seen as less. Sadly it is because here, they typically don't walk or talk because there are no services, therapy, or funding for children with special needs.

So the plan is to leave on an overnight train tomorrow night (Thursday) and arrive in region on Friday morning. We will need to have some paperwork done after seeing our big boy, stating, YES, we do want to adopt this boy. (I could tell them that now, but it is a formality, so we have to go first.) Our facilitator in the region thought that paper could be done on Friday. We then will have to send that paper back to the SDA and then they will issue us a second appointment for our little man.

I think as it stands now, we will plan to spend the weekend with our big boy and send the paper back to the capital city. Yulia should know the day before our appointment and we will catch a train back to the capital city to have our second appointment for our little man. Then we will wait a day for his referral and head back to the region again. I'll get to ride the train lots this trip!

There is still hope that we might be able to have one court, but we know that there is a real possibility due to the fact that one boy is in the city and the other outside the city and due to the age difference, that we may have to have two court hearings. It is what it is. As long as the story ends with us being granted the parents of two boys, we are okay with how it happens. (I say that now...I may grumble later!)

Tonight we ventured out to meet Sasha and Natalie! Oh, so good to see dear friends that we have missed for many years! It is so nice to have contacts in Ukraine! We had a chance to catch up and chat at McDonald's. Natalie gave us a Chidlren's encyclopedia in Russian and gave us the wonderful suggestion to keep some Russian books around for Max so he can still be exposed to his first learned language! What a wonderful suggestion and sweet gift!

Monday 8/30, Day 2 in Capital City

2011-08-30T09:39:00.001-04:00

We were able to stay up until 10:00pm last night, then slept all night. I woke with a headache, I think partly to the difference in Ukrainian pillows (square and thick) and from all the stress of traveling caught up with me. So I took some advil and went back to sleep. Doug woke up around 10:00am and then he woke me at 11:30am!

We decided to do some walking to get us conditioned to our many walking trips we will be making in the coming weeks. We walked about 25 minutes and found an American restaurant. I had cheese fries (though not as good as in the US. Doug had a steak. We commented about how good that food is going to taste after being here for a while!

A walk home and a stop at the grocery store to buy paper towels, dish soap, potatoes and onions (the tradition has continued). It is now 4:30 in the afternoon. The rest of the day will be spent re-organizing our bags and reading.
Tomorrow our SDA appointment is at 11:00am, which would be 4:00am Ohio time!

Hannah- this picture is for you! Perogies, your favorite! I thought of you and took a picture!

Other great finds in the supermarket- my all time favorite seasoning! It's an Italian seasoning that we found on our first trip to Ukraine, then again when we were in Serbia. The one we have at home is almost gone. Doug and I joke that when the bottle is empty, it must be time to adopt again! :) And hazelnut M&Ms. Laurie, who is in the region we are traveling to, talked about them, so when we found them, we just had to try them! They are yummy!

We made it!

2011-08-29T14:13:00.000-04:00

We made it half way around the world in about 24 hours! We boarded a plane on Sunday at 2:30pm in Columbus, and after two other stops and 7 hours in layovers, we have arrived in the capital city! Our flights were packed, and the longest one had a good bit of turbulance. (No Matthew and Ryan, Mrs. Layne was not swallowe up by the hurricane!) We arrived in the capital city, found our driver and he showed us where to buy groceries and exchange money.
We passed the Hannon family in the driveway of the apartment as they were heading out to the region to finish the adoption of their sweet girls. We now inhabit the apartment they were in!

And now for some pictures of and from our apartment!

our frige contents--gotta have Coke Lite!

Big supermarket across the street from our apartment

Pretty statue outside our apartment

Second skype call to tell family we made it safely!

One bedroom- little bed.

Bedroom where Doug has to sleep if he's mean to me! :)

I already miss the girls like crazy! I talked to both of them today after they got home from school and were at Grandma's. Let's time passes quickly and we'll be home as a family of 6 soon!

Getting Ready

2011-08-25T22:21:00.000-04:00

The countdown ticker on my phone says 3 days until travel. Behind that countdown is a picture of our older boy, from many years ago when he was younger. OH, two days left, and there is so much to do, but it will all get done!
School has been overwhelming. It was I who said "Oh I hope I can at least get two weeks under my belt before traveling!" Well, two weeks I got! A crazy two weeks! There is so much planning and scheduling that goes into the first two weeks of school. I think I have tweaked and printed off my latest schedule at least 5 times in 9 days! I went back tonight to get everything (for the most part) finished, and ready for my sub to take over on Monday! I am so thankful that there is someone wonderful filling in for me in my absence. She is a wonderful lady. One whom I have known for many years. She is grown, married, and still the best of friends with my youngest sister; Amy. Anyoen who is married, has a life of her own, and still calls my 27 year old sister up on the weekends and takes her out with friends, is special in my book! It makes me feel proud that my sister, who has DS, still hangs out with friends from high school! How cool!
So-packing.....
Well, there are piles of things that are to go in bags. That's a start! I'm typically not a procrastinator, but school has been a bit time consuming in the past two weeks! The girls are mostly packed for the three places they are going to stay. Great friends are going to look for short sleeved shirts for them over the weekend. It was hard picking out clothes with the possible weather change. I've already said, if the girls don't match for three weeks, blame Mama!
Clothes for us will be washed up tomorrow and packed on Saturday! As much as I hate to leave my girls, I'm ready to be in country. I'm sure I'll get tired of it quickly, but after the last two weeks, a little bit of repetition and "Groundhog Day" sounds appealing! (Not to mention the opportunity to take a nap and read some books!)

I Refuse

2011-08-10T15:25:00.000-04:00

There is a newer song out on the christian radio station we listen to called I Refuse by Josh Wilson. I LOVE the lyrics. There is so much of this song that seems like a theme song for me and our family.

Sometimes I
I just want to close my eyes
And act like everyone's alright
When I know they're not

This world needs God
But it's easier to stand and watch
I could say a prayer and just move on
Like nothing's wrong

But I refuse
'Cause I don't want to live like I don't care
I don't want to say another empty prayer
Oh, I refuse

To sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself
Oh, I could choose
Not to move but I refuse

I can hear the least of these
Crying out so desperately
And I know we are the hands and feet
Of You, oh God

So, if You say move
It's time for me to follow through
And do what I was made to do
Show them who You are

'Cause I don't want to live like I don't care
I don't want to say another empty prayer
Oh, I refuse

To sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself
Oh, I could choose
Not to move but I refuse

To stand and watch the weary and lost
Cry out for help
I refuse to turn my back
And try and act like all is well

I refuse to stay unchanged
To wait another day, to die to myself
I refuse to make one more excuse

'Cause I don't want to live like I don't care
I don't want to say another empty prayer
Oh, I refuse

To sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself
Oh, I could choose
Not to move but I refuse

I refuse
I refuse

In each adoption journey, we have felt called to go and adopt. Adoption is something we not only love, but feel called to do. I understand that not every family is called to adopt, but I truly feel like that is HIS calling for our family.

There are many times during each adoption process that I stop and doubt HIS calling, thinking to myself, "We are perfectly happy with the children/life we have now... there are many other families out there adopting...maybe I can't handle more....I'd have to take leave from my job...". Doubt can get the best of me. But each time I hear Mila's giggle and remember how when we first met her, she was just a shell. She had no giggle, no sparkle in her eye. Then I think about how far Hannah has come, and how we wondered if she would ever be able to effectively communicate. I'm grateful for the Lord's blessing in our life to be able to go out and to do what God has called me to do myself. So when the Lord says go- I listen to his calling. So, if You say move, it's time for me to follow through, and do what I was made to do and show them who You are.

I can hear the least of these, Crying out so desperately, And I know we are the hands and feet Of You, oh God. I can't ever get the image of all the little faces we left behind each time. The quiet cries from other rooms. Oh, how I wanted to just go in and pick up that little one who was crying, just to comfort him/her. I can't help but think of where those little ones will end up, possibly locked away and never given the chance to reach his/her potential. Both my little girls LOVE to go to church. They love the songs and to worship. On occasion while singing/listening to music at church and in the car, the girls have raised their hands to praise the Lord.

I refuse to sit around and wait for someone else to do what God has called me to do myself. I refuse, not to move!

Here's is the video: (Be sure to scroll to the bottom of the page and turn the media player off before starting the video!)
http://youtu.be/6B1Lv8k5pEc

Off the Hampster wheel

2011-08-08T22:04:00.000-04:00

For the last three weeks I felt like I have been a hamster in one of those tiny wheels, running round and round, but not going anywhere. I kept going, day to day, waiting for word about a travel date, without hearing word as days, then weeks passed. I felt like a pregnant lady, past her due date. Your know- people ask "When are you due?" and the lady anxiously lady awaiting the arrival of her newborn says "3 days ago....", and then you feel bad for asking! That's me, people would ask "Any travel news?" and all I could respond was "Hopefully next week!"....it got old!
Today is Monday, the day that travel dates are typically handed out. I woke up and realized that I didn't get a call to wake me up. I was disappointed, and texted Doug to tell him there was no news today. The I texted Brigitte, our awesome Reece's rainbow stateside contact to joke with her "You were suppose to wake me up today!" Then she called. When I answered, I said to her, "this doesn't count as a wake up call....!" She responded with "Cara.....I have a travel date for you!" YEA!
We have a date to meet with the government officials on Wednesday, August 31. We will plan to leave Ohio at least two days before that.
So, I'm officially off the hamster wheel. No more running in circles, waiting for word. We have a date! Time to start packing, surveying what we have to travel, what we need, and get the girls ready for a great adventure with Grandparents and great friends!
In preparation for travel, the girls and I went shopping to look for big brother's clothing. He will need to have clothes for court. This is what the girls and I picked out:

And then just because Papa couldn't resist, an outfit for little brother:

Summer reminder

2011-08-02T21:22:00.000-04:00

I have several pairs of favorite summer shorts. A few pairs are a little big, but I've kept them because I like them so much. This pair of shorts is definitely my favorite! I love the back pocket of my shorts. The back pocket on the shorts have snaps that keep things from falling out. Truly though, I don't typically put anything in my pockets.

But long ago (these shorts are about to tell their age!), in 2006, a boy returned to Ohio for a second summer visit. He enjoyed Bible School so much, that we went to a second Bible School. This second Bible school, he knew very few people, so he stayed close to his Mama. One particular night, the lesson revolved around the Parable of the Lost Sheep (Matthew 18:12-14, Luke 15:1-7). During the Bible lesson, the teacher talked about looking for lost things and how the things we treasured could not be measured in value. After the lesson, the children got to sift through sand and look for missing treasures.

That little boy found a blue heart. He was so proud of the heart he found, he gave it to his Mama to hold on to. The Mama put it into her back pocket and snapped it closed so that the heart would be safe until after Bible School ended that night. After Bible School that night, that boy's Mama gave the heart back to him. His response to her was "No Mama, I found it and gave it to you. I want you to keep it. It's from me." And so, his Mama kept it. Safe in her back pocket.

Each summer I get a great reminder of the (not so) little man we grew to love, and still love today. This reminder makes me a little sad at times--knowing that we have missed so much of that boy's life. It reminds me of the heartache we experienced in 2007. It also reminds me of the hope we have that some day, we will be able to make this not so little boy a part of our family.

Matthew 18: 12 says "... If a man owns a hundred sheep and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? In Luke, chapter 15, the Parable of the Lost sheep is told again. Luke 15:5-6 says "And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep' "

In so many ways I feel like that shepherd. I have two children at home whom I love with all my heart, but the day that our boy went home, he was like the lost sheep in the Bible story. We vowed that somehow, some way, we would find our way back to him. We kept our hearts focused on him, even though he was far away. So much in our lives has changed, and in his life too. And yet, the love we share remained the same. I cannot wait for the chance to gather our friends and family and say to them 'Rejoice with me! I have found my boy, and he is home with us forever'.

August 1

2011-08-01T14:23:00.000-04:00

Here we are- It's a new day, a new week, and a new month. Mondays are typically the day that travel word arrives for families. A while back an email came from afar that said something about travel news in August. I had convinced myself that today would be the day. As it is now after 9:00pm in the boys' country, I doubt we will get travel news today.

This our last full week of summer. Teachers start back to school next Thursday and the kids come back on Monday the 15th. And I'm not motivated what so ever. My brain can't focus on school, when my heart is focused on two boys in a far away land that I long to see again and meet for the very first time. My heart has trouble fathoming travel when my brain is overloaded with the multitude of things that will need to be arranged for our family when we travel. And why is it, that everything seems to come to me when I lay my head down on the pillow? I just can't seem to turn my brain off and sleep peacefully. Then, when I do fall asleep, I dream dreams that seem so real, I wake wondering if they really happened!
Maybe news will come later in the week. I know there is at least one other family in the same boat we are--waiting for news. I look forward to the opportunity to meet the Lim family and have another family to touch base with while in country!

Planning

2011-07-25T23:05:00.000-04:00

Planning to be gone for three weeks is dreadful. The thought of being away from home, away from the girls brings tears to my eyes. Yet I know that Eastern European countries are not handicapped accessible, and to take the girls with us would be very expensive. So it is best for all of us for them to stay home with family while we go.
I also know that we leave behind a big responsibility for our family. Little Miss Lazy Daisy needs a good bit of care to be fed, diapered, and cared for more than the 'typical' 5 year old. It's my job as a Mom to take care of her every need, and I do it gladly, but I don't like asking others to do it. The other issue is that the girls may have started school when we travel. Since the girls go to the school I teach at, I am their transportation. So asking someone else to care for my girls and then ask them to get them to school is an extra burden.
I keep trying to think of people who might be able to help so that everyone has less of a load to carry while we are gone. I know the Lord will work out all the details. I just need to be reassured! :)

While I'm waiting.....

2011-07-22T14:19:00.002-04:00

John Waller sings a song about "while I'm waiting..." It's been going through my head a lot lately.

Here we are--waiting. Waiting for a date to travel. Two weeks ago, there was word that travel dates would be issued. On Monday, they issued travel dates to those who submitted the first two weeks of June. Our paperwork was submitted the third week. So, possibly sometime next week we will receive a travel date.
This week, rather than stressing over "when" we have been productive. It has been extremely hot her in Ohio this week--heat index above 100 most of the week. We went swimming one day and had appointments to fix the girls AFOs one day. Other than that, we have been cleaning, de-cluttering, organizing, and preparing for travel...and BOYS! Oh gracious! We've also been investigating vehicle options. We have a Minivan that is just 2 years old, but when you think about a family of 6 with a wheelchair and stroller, it is a tad much. We're looking for reasonable avenues, since every penny is going towards bringing the boys home.

A dear friend at church has insisted we have a shower. Do you know how hard it is to pick out for someone little you don't even know yet?? I realize that when you birth a baby, you don't know them either, but this situation is different.
I've done some research, asked friends who have kiddos with DS, and feel fairly equipped with the knowledge I have. I've been choosing items online at Target and Walmart, but without knowing what size little man will be, it's a challenge to pick out things. (and Walmart won't let you register for diapers online...how silly!)
Little man will come home very much an infant. I feel sure his caregivers care for him the best they can, but could you imagine having 7 babies with and without disabilities to care for on your own???(Typically there are approximately 12-15 kids in a group with 2 caretakers...sometimes 1 at night) The caregivers just can't provide the stimulation each kiddo needs and so, those precious kiddos spend a good amount of time on their backs, possibly in cribs. Looking at a Down Syndrome growth chart, at 14 months, 10th percentile says he would be 15 pounds and 27". I'm betting he doesn't even make it in the 10th percentile. Both of our girls came home at 3% or less.
Hopefully next week we'll have a date in sight! As hard as it is to think about leaving our girls, I am ready to go see our boys!

Big News

2011-07-11T14:56:00.000-04:00

Let the roller coaster ride continue!

Lots has happened this weekend in the Layne adoption journey!

We got word from our stateside contact for Reece's Rainbow, that the cabinet in Ukraine decided on Friday, July 8th to continue processing adoptions for those families that have submitted their paperwork (dossiers) to the government. The announcement will be made official this week, but we were told that we will be allowed to continue and travel during the period of time the country is restructuring the way they do adoptions!

Today, when I looked on the RR website, our family's sponsorship page said "Hope to travel at the end of July". WHAT??? That is wonderful news, scary news! We had prepared our hearts for a longer wait, telling ourselves it would allow us more time for our Adoption Tax credit to arrive, and to have the funds we need to travel. After e-mailing, I was told that late July is a possibility! We could be given travel dates in the next few weeks. I would assume our travel date will be issued in a couple weeks and we will have a couple weeks after that before we are to arrive in country, since there are two weeks of families that have submitted before us. (But, I have been wrong before!)

On Friday night as Doug and I were discussing the new news when I began thinking about that someone little who we might be bringing home. We had talked about ages of kiddos. Since I teach special education at our local school, I would really like for our child to have a preschool teacher before he/she possibly enters my classroom. That way he/she has an opportunity to establish a student/teacher relationship understanding before Mama is the teacher. Our ideal age would be 1-4 years old. Our dossier says 2-48 months. We considered a 4 month old little girl several weeks ago. There was a time in my life when I wanted nothing more than to have a baby, and then as I looked at the little one, I wasn't sure that I would know what to do with an infant!
Andrea let me know of a couple new kiddos in Max's area that were available. After talking with Doug, praying, and getting a good night's rest to make a decision, we contacted Andrea on Saturday morning to let her know that we wanted to pursue the intent to adopt a little guy. Yes, that means we will even the score in our home--2 boys, 2 girls! Our family will look like this- big boy-age 14, Hannah-6, Mila-5, little boy-age 14 months! We've talked about many name possibilities for 'little man', but I'll leave that for another post!

SO....with our new news I realize there is much to do! I need to finish 'summer cleaning' the house, begin going over items for trip #1, and get things ready for school to prepare for my absence! YIKES!

Moving Forward

2011-07-03T17:11:00.000-04:00

We decided to get away for a few days and head north to Holmes County, which in Ohio is known as "Amish Country". It was a great couple of days to get away, refocus, and re-energize on how to move forward with our adoption of two children.
On Wednesday, June 29, I got an e-mail from one of our Reece's Rainbow contacts. Her e-mail was to tell us that the little girl whom we had committed to adopting had been adopted by a Ukrainian family. In the end, a family is a family, no matter what country they come from, no matter how far they have traveled to adopt a child. In a way, it was no surprise to Doug and I that this little one was not the one to be our daughter. (Committing to a child does not "hold" him/her for your family. It is truly a method to tell someone you are interested in a child. That child can be adopted by a family in the country or another foreign family if the child's file is shown to someone and a family expresses interest in that child.)
A week prior, I was sitting at the computer late one night, and as I turned off the computer, I saw Maia's picture on my computer screen. A voice came to me so audible it was plain to hear. "Your little one will not be coming home to you." I touched her cheek on the computer, said a prayer for her, and went to bed.
We knew there was a chance we wouldn't bring this little one home. New laws going into effect on July 11, 2011 in the country would make only a certain number of children with disabilities available for adoption under the age of 5. With the new law in place, our little one would not be adoptable until she was 5 by a foreign family.
So we feel blessed that "our" little one has a forever family and does not have to wait until her 5th birthday.
Our trip to Amish Country gave me time to re-focus. We have beenon overload the past two weeks-- hurrying to get paperwork overseas by a certain deadline fighting with UPS to actually ge tthe paperwork there, waiting and wondering if our paperwork would be submitted before the July 11 closure. Now that we know our paperwork was submitted (on Thursday, June 30--the last day possible before the closure), we can sit back and evaluate our situation. Doug and I still feel very called to adopt a child with a disability in addition to the young man we love very much. At this point, we know that we have several months until we travel. We are going to travel and ask for a "blind referral" for a child between the ages of 2 months and 48 months with Down Syndrome or other disability. If between now and our travel date Reece's Rainbow has additional children become available, we might commit to another. Either way, we know that God has the perfect child in mind for us.

An orphan no more....

2011-06-29T23:09:00.000-04:00

This little lady who we fell in love with before ever kissing her sweet cheeks is an orphan no more. We received word this morning from our in country team that she has a Mama and a Papa to call her own. She has a home, a bed, a family. What every child deserves. She doesn't have to spend another night rocking herself to sleep and calming herself after a bad dream. She has a Papa who is a protector and a Mama who makes her yummy meals.
Though that family is no ours, we rejoice that there is one less orphan in the world.

Prayers for our sweet Hannah who just doesn't understand that even though when we love someone so much, sometimes we have to let go. She had all kinds of great plans for she and her sister and has prayed for a family for her. :) Her prayers were answered, just not the way she thought.

Tomorrow is a big day. Our paperwork should be submitted in the land of sunflowers. We should know at some point tomorrow. Paperwork submission would mean that none of our paperwork will expire through the three month closure and we should travel shortly after adoptions re-open in the country.

5

2011-06-28T22:27:00.000-04:00

I don't know why, but buying size 5 diapers this week at the store really bothered me. I know it's no big deal. They are just a size bigger than size 4.
I guess in a way, I'm disappointed in myself. Disappointed for making it a big deal. Disappointed for having a "timeline" in my head of when Little Miss would be potty trained. Disappointed that I allowed a size to bother me.

Little Miss can and will ask to go when it is convenient for her. You know, when you are trying to get her ready for bed. She'll say "Mama, I want to try to potty", or she will occasionally tell me she needs to go and has a warm diaper. She is L-A-Z-Y!! She's pretty good at telling me when she needs to go #2 (or I notice she needs to go and ask) unless she is watching TV, and then that trumps all! We tried hard for 2 weeks on using a schedule and she would do fairly well at going when I took her. We made a big deal about "big girl undies" (aka Pull-Ups) and rewarded her with M&Ms, but when I would tell her it was time to try to potty, he would complain. "I don't want to try to potty! I just want to wear a diaper!" Lazy Daisy!

Potty training isn't easy with this one. She is hard to hold on the potty due to low trunk control. She also stiffens up her body and puts her legs out straight, so it is hard to keep her sitting on a potty seat. I've tried putting her backwards on the potty, but she struggles with that too because she gets so tight.

I'm disappointed for Little Miss. I know she is smart enough if she would just believe in herself and not be so lazy. Changing her diapers is not a big deal, but as she grows, changing her in public places will be a bigger deal. How do families approach diapering older kiddos when they are out in public places? I don't want to stop going places as a family and refuse to let a silly diaper get in the way of family outings.

5....it's just a number. A number that seems to fit her much better!

Happy "Gotcha" Day

2011-06-23T23:10:00.000-04:00

Today marks 2 years that Doug and I have officially been Mila Rose's parents. What a blessing Mila has been to the two of us as well as to her extended family. She has a winning smile and a giggle that is simple infectious.
She has come a long way since June 12, 2009. I remember meeting her for the first time in her baby house, then taking her to have her visa picture taken. As we sat in the park waiting for the pictures to be developed, Mila sat on my lap. As I talked to her, she seemed to look through me. There was part of her that had checked out on life. She had given up without even knowing it. I remember looking at Doug and trying give him a "special ed" look at our soon to be daughter. I talked about a child I had interacted with in the past, and really thought that was what we could expect out of Mila. I remember my blog post, you can read it here. We really weren't sure she would interact, talk, or express her wants and needs, or chew.......BOY WAS I WRONG!
This little lady has won the hearts of many with her winning smile, her huge dimples, and her love for life. She carrys on the funniest conversations and makes jokes with others. Her favorite right now is to finish a conversation with someone by saying politely, "Bye, see ya later.....stinky pants!" And of course that got people's attention and reaction, so it is a common end all to her conversations! :)
I began and ended the day with pictures of Mila's gotcha day. From "Mama, don't take pictures of me in my bed. I'm in my 'jamas" to the countless questions of "when are we going to dinner where they cook our food behind us?" (We obviously need to work on her position words!)
Lord, we thank you for our sweet Mila. I can't wait to see what the next twenty years bring for her!

Pictures from today (and some of the many comments from Mila:

"Don't take pictures of me. I'm in my jamas!"

Her favorite breakfast- a banana. She requested to eat in the living room today!

Gosh I love those piggies! "Mom, those aren't piggies, silly, those are my toes!"

and I love your fingers. "Mama, that's my banana. HA!"

"I'm going to pick up Grandma and the bad cows in the field!"

Cuddling with Hannah watching TV

"Look Mama, I'm sleeping!"

"Are we ready to go to my gotcha day dinner?"

"When is our chef coming to cook our food"

"Mama, I'm ready to go to my bed to sleep."

And a video. She has quite the imagination. The Imagination Movers were with her, they were doing a circus, she was at church, and according to Mila, the bible is bad! :) I'm sure that was for a reaction!! Gosh I love this little one!

Mila...what a silly girl

2011-06-23T22:45:00.001-04:00

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Roller coaster

2011-06-20T20:46:00.000-04:00

What an emotional roller coaster the last week has been! Last Monday, I was running from one county to another to get items county certified, feeling very accomplished. By Wednesday evening, I was very distracted at dinner time trying to digest and process the news of an upcoming possible delay due to a "approximate 3 month shut down" in adoptions in the land of sunflowers while the country regroups and restructures the way they do adoptions. Thursday I was on pins and needles wondering if we would get everything done. Thursday night and Friday morning I was a complete ball of nerves wondering if a typo was going to be the end of our hopes to get things sent by Friday. Friday, with my best friend by my side, we county certified things and apostilled them at the state level. All our documents were ready to send to the land of sunflowers! I was a tad nervous sending things with a girl with pink hair that asked me what letter the country started with (YIKES!), and by Saturday morning I was a complete mess as I checked the tracking number on our UPS shipment to find that there had been a snafu and there was no one to talk to me due to the weekend. Sunday I was a tad relaxed as I knew that nothing could be done, so it was no use worrying. This morning, I called and called UPS trying to get things sorted out and make sure my UPS package went to the land of the sunflowers rather than being returned to me!!!
Our documents SHOULD be back on track, heading to the land of sunflowers. In this crazy roller coaster week, all I have left to do is put my hands up and enjoy the ride. No doubt this week has taken my breath away, made me cry, scared me to death, and been a rush of pure adrenaline, just like a roller coaster ride.

In putting my hands up, I have given it over to God. There are three ways this adoption could go. There is one option that is most favorable, one that is favorable, and one that is not so tolerable (at the moment at least.). We could 1. have our papers submitted and travel very quickly yet this summer. Families currently are receiving 5 days notice to travel. #2. We could have our paperwork submitted, but not be able to travel until fall, after the 3 month reorganization of adoptions concludes. #3 We could possibly have to do many of our documents again due to them expiring or being different than what the new adoption laws require. At the moment, I have found peace in the unknown. The paperwork is out of my hands and out of my control. I have to remember that God has the perfect plan, even when it doesn't meet my "perfect plan".

Our prayer tonight is that after the big snafu getting our documents out of Ohio, we hope they travel safely and quickly to the land of sunflowers and reach the hands of those who need them in time. I would love to see the Sunflowers at their peak. My children in another country aren't getting any younger and I long to hold each of them in my arms. No child deserves to wait any longer for a forever family.

Pair of shoes

2011-06-16T00:40:00.000-04:00

There is a pair of shoes by the back door that remind me of him. A pair of shoes that his feet once filled. Those shoes, plain and blue, white, and black. That pair of shoes that Doug had to convince him were cool. (He wanted something with a Spider man on them!) As I pass those shoes each day, I remember to stop and say a pryer for our boy, who is thousands of miles away, but very close in our hearts. The girls talk about the boy who filled those shoes, and talk about all the plans they have for him when he returns to fill them.

I miss my boy who filled those shoes. There is a chance that his shoes could be filled very soon if his Mama gets everything sent an ocean away quickly. Otherwise, those shoes will continue to be empty for some time. There is word that the country is about to close adoptions for several months. When they open, the boy who fills those shoes may need boots to keep his feet warm.

Will you say a quick prayer for the boy who fills those shoes and his soon to be sister, that our paperwork might reach their country in time and that they won't have to wait too long for a family of their own?

Both Hands Project

2011-06-08T15:29:00.003-04:00

Last Saturday, June 4, many friends and family gathered to work on a widow's home to bless her with some needed repair and sprucing up of her home that with the help of many was possible. This widow; Andrea, has become a friend to Doug and I through this process. Andrea has three wonderful children, who, along with Andrea helped through out the day.

Andrea- helping paint

Shelby, helping paint her room

Doug and I delivered many items to Andrea's home on Friday evening to prepare for our project day. On Saturday morning, bright and early at 8:00am, about 25 friends and family met at the house to work.

The house with many items moved outside so we could paint

There was endless activity though out the day. many people worked many long hours and painted, patched, repaired, replaced, mulched, planted, trimmed, and cleaned. The bathroom was the major project and thankfully the neighbors were kind enough to let people use their bathroom as the only bathroom at Andrea's was being repaired!

By 8:00pm, we had to call it quits for the night. Some of the spakle refused to dry due to the high humidity, and there was a strong thunderstorm rolling in. Many of us quickly gathered supplies to get them under cover before the rain rolled in. I thought I would be "smart" and carry a 6x6 piece of plywood in. One problem, it was VERY windy, and for a moment, I thought I was in a scene from Mary Poppins!

We had a wonderful, long day. Doug and I feel truly blessed to have been able to help a worthy family in our community.
Thank you to anyone who supported us in any way during our project! For those who sent out letters, prayed for our team during the work day, watched our children so that we could work, prepared food for the team, those who spent countless hours volunteering, and all of you who donated financially.
If you are still interested in donating, click here. It will take you to the Lifesong for Orphans Both Hands current projects. Scroll down and find our picture, then click on donate. All donations are tax deductible!

Bedroom before

bedroom after

Again, thank you!

You do what???

2011-06-01T23:21:00.000-04:00

Many moths ago, someone sheepishly asked me how we financed our adoption. Without skipping a beat, I told that person, that we truly believed that God laid on our hearts to adopt children with special needs and we believed that if it was HIS will, then HE would provide for our every need. I think the person was so dumbfounded at my response, he didn't know how to reply.

International adoption isn't easy. I have a stack of papers to prove it. I curently have 16 documents that have been notarized. Once notarized, then they have to be county certified, which requires a trip to the court house and $1 a document to be certified. Then those same documents have to be state "certified" (the official word is apostille) for $5 a document in the capital city of our state. Once the documents have been notarized, certified, and apostilled, you take them to Fed Ex, give your documents a farewell kiss, and send them off to Eastern Europe. And that is just the first batch. I have about 20 other documents to do like wise with.

International adoption isn't cheap. Take the above mentioned documents to certify, apostille, and send. Then there are the many required documents like marriage licenses (we needed 4 and each one cost $3 each). We had to have BCI/FBI prints taken. $64/person. Those prints have to have a date less than 6 months old when sent to EE, so we just had our prints done again. ($64 additional). There was an upfront cost of our homestudy ($750) and our paperwork/fingerprinting for the US government ($890). Then, when we do finally get a travel date, it typically is 2 weeks prior to traveling, so ticket prices are anywhere from $1200-$1600/ticket. (And we are making two trips this time). A one way ticket for our kiddos in the last two trips have been $800, and we are hopefully bringing home two kiddos this time! Once in country, apartments/hotels are anywhere from $20-$80/night. Doesn't seem liek much, but our first trip to Ukraine we paid $40/night and were in Ukraine for 42 days!

You don't have to be a great mathematician to know that all these items add up. The cost is high, the paperwork is daunting, but in the end-

International Adoption is WORTH IT!
Adoption is WORTH the TIME--every minute spent running from one county to another having items county certified, going to Columbus to have the pile of many documents apostilled. Adoption is WORTH the COST. How do you put a price on someone's life? How can you tell someone that his/her life isn't worth every penny it took to get to him/her?

Every day, I look at the pictures of our kiddos, waiting for us, and I am reminded of our Father's love. HE told us we were worth the cost. HE told us we were worth the time. HE told us we were worth the effort.

God placed on our hearts to adopt children from far away lands. To go out, and place children in families. And so we follow HIS lead. When he says go, we will go. No, today we don't have every penny saved up to finance our adoption, but I truly believe that God will provide. God provided us with a great support base of family and friends. We are humbled by the generous outpouring of love from those we know and those who believe in our calling to adopt. Stepping out and saying yes isn't always easy, but with the love of family, friends, and a heavenly Father, it's definitely worth it!

Its summer

2011-05-31T15:09:00.000-04:00

It's officially summer. School is out, the sun is hot, and I am longing to see my boy and meet my daughter. It's days like today that I get frustrated that I can't hurry things up. The daily waiting is what wears me down.
Two years ago tomorrow (June 1, 2009), Doug and I were anxiously awaiting a travel date to meet our beautiful Serbian princess. We were sitting in a car dealership on a rainy summer day, working out numbers to buy our first minivan. As we sat, waiting, my phone dinged with an e-mail. The email was short and direct. "Your appointment date is June 12. Please make your travel arrangements." Gracious did our world change in a days time. I now owned a new minivan and began making arrangements to fly to Serbia to meet our daughter.
In one moment I become overwhelmed with the gigantic pile of papers that need notarized, county certified, and apostilled. Hours later when I look at the pile, I realize it is manageable and all within reach. It's summer, I have time to work on it.
Our BCI check has expired by Eastern European standards. We need to have it re-done, which is no biggie. The complicating factor is getting 2 notarized copies from the BCI office. Today, I called and talked to a very nice lady who gave me direction, then transferred me to the person in charge of these type of situations. I left her a message and am waiting her reply.
It's manageable. It's doable. It's worth it. It's summer and I have the itch to travel. My boy should have been here for his summer visit in 20 days. I hope we can travel this summer to visit him.

iPad 2 Give Away

2011-05-21T17:25:00.001-04:00

We have a iPad2 sitting here at our house! Doug has been eye-balling it, taking dibs on who's it should be (he's thinking his own!)
Rather than keeping it for ourselves, we would like to give it away and raise some money to help bring our kiddos home from Eastern Europe!

Apple® - iPad2™ with Wi-Fi - 16GB and Gray Smart cover

How to enter: $25 per entry, and of course you can enter as many times as you like! But, as an added bonus, any donation of $100 will give you FIVE entries!!! All donations are 100% tax deductible to Reece's Rainbow, which is a 501c3 non profit organization. No need to be local! If you are the lucky winner, I will ship it to you!

On the sidebar you will notice a Green widget bar. If you click on the link, it will take you to Reece's Rainbow's secure Paypal account.

Give away ends June 20, and the winner will be announced June 22. Please help us bring our kiddos home by posting this on your Facebook pages and blogs!

Mile a minute

2011-05-17T22:47:00.000-04:00

As I put my head down on the pillow tonight, my mind was racing a mile a minute. So many things to think about. School is about to end, summer is upon us. Our Both Hands Project is nearing and so much still needs to be done to prepare for the big day--food, supplies, donations, waivers, and prayers. Then, with summer, I'll be more focused on travel. Travel across the ocean to bring our children home. Then I thought about Mr M. Does he lay his head on his pillow at night and his mind races?
Summer presents another hosting opportunity, but we thought there was a chance we might be traveling to visit another country during that time, so we didn't commit to host. How could we be here and there at the same time? I'm wondering if the children know who is/is not on the list for summer hosting. Does he wonder why he isn't on that list? Oh, how I long to talk to M and let him know that he is worthy of love. I hope he understands.
And tonight as I attempt to lay my head on the pillow and sleep, someone on the other side of the ocean is just waking up to begin a new day. I pray that last night as he put his head on his pillow he knew how much he is loved!

Mother's Day

2011-05-08T17:50:00.000-04:00

Mother's Day, just as any other holiday bring a good bit of mixed emotions for me. I am blessed, thankful, and burdened.
Today is a day that I feel truly blessed that God has chosen me to be the mother to two beautifully made children. Though I did not carry either of my children in my womb, I love them as I did. It is amazing to me how much each of my girls are like Doug and I in so many ways. Hannah hates needles (as do I) and loves music (as does Doug). Mila could live off a diet of all carbs (so could I) and could eat at any time food is offered (that's a Doug thing). Acquaintances and strangers look to find similarities in families. Many people have asked if my girls are twins. They comment how much each of them look like me.
Today is the day I thank the Lord for the sacrifice the girls' birth mother made. One mother made the responsible decision knowing that she could not care for her daughter and tried to give her the best chance she could by placing her in the orphanage. The other mother, may live with her regret in the mistakes and decisions made in a time of crisis.
On Mother's Day, my heart is burdened as I think of all the children both in our country and around the world who are longing for a mother to call his/her own. Each circumstance is different, but each child longs for an embrace, a smile, someone to look after him/her. Yet on Mother's Day and every other day of the year, many children in distant lands have his/her basic needs met by caretakers that are overwhelmed and underpaid. That child resolves that no one cares and he/she is unwanted.
I am thankful that through adoption I am able to be a mother. I am grateful that we have a family that loves our girls as equals. I am blessed that through adoption my girls know what love is. They know what it is like to be part of a family, to be loved, kissed, tickled, and rocked to sleep.
Happy Mother's Day to all those who love a child. Whether by blood, or by love, any person can be called to be a parent to a child.