We have been blessed with two special daughters and two sons from Eastern Europe. We welcome you to follow our journey as a family of five, waiting to travel and pick up #6, with the ins and outs of family, education, farm life, and love!

Friday, October 24, 2008

Broken dreams

Today we got heartbreaking news.....


Nastya's mother is planning to take her home, so no adoption for us.

How ironic that the last go round of adoption, we were a month from traveling when we got word that Max's mom had come to take him home with her. Today, over a month into adoption number 2, we get the same heartbreaking news, a mother has decided to take the little one we have grown to love through pictures, is going to go home with her mother.

In one way, I feel glad. Family is family, no matter what county it occurs in. In a way, we have helped an orphan, even though we couldn't adopt her. Maybe it was our interest in Nastya that made her mother realize that she needed to step up and love her little girl each day, rather than visits in an orphanage. In another way, I am sad. I feel like my dreams of a dark haired, dark eyed little girl with DS are lost.

How is it possible to love someone without ever meeting him/her? For a month we have been looking at pictures, praying for a little one, and planning how we would become a family. Hannah was looking forward to sharing a bedroom. Just like her Mama, she is a planner. She will sit in the spare bedroom, commenting on where Hannah's bed will be and where 'baby Nastya's' crib will be.

So for today, we are saddened by our loss. We took time to reflect on our losses during our adoption process. We take time to rejoice that despite our loss, the children gained a home with a biological parent. We will continue to pray for God's guidance in our process. I know that Greater things are yet to come.....

12 comments:

Collin and Amanda said...

Oh wow. It is great that she'll be with her mother but heartbreaking too. I know she would have done wonderfully with you as her family. I pray that she will also get the chance to thrive with her mother. So where does that leave you now? Will you be looking into adopting another child from that orphanage or from that country even?

Amanda (RR)

MamaPoRuski said...

Grieving your loss with you! We have almost lost our daughter twice to various issues with our adoption. I can't imagine getting to the end and coming home empty handed! Hugs and God Bless!

Jaclyn said...

Oh, Cara. I've been following you through this. There's no being nice about it. You are phenomenal and she should have been with you. There's a purpose here. Someone else must have caught God's eye and that little one needs you more.
All the love in the world,
Jac

Alan said...

Please don't quit... There is another little one over there that needs a mama's hug.

Cara & Doug said...

Thanks for all the comments, thoughts, and prayers. We are going to take a few days and pray, asking for God's guidance before making any decisions on what steps to take next.

emrwells said...

hey girlfriend.
I'm so sorry to hear this sad news. I'm also so proud that you are looking at the positive, instead of dwelling on the negative. You and Doug will be great parents to any child, as you are to Hannah. I'll be thinking of you!
love ya.

Susi said...

Cara, Doug, and Hannah,

I am so sorry to hear that Nastya will not be joining your family, but she will always be a part of you all. You changed her life in ways she might not ever understand or know, but she will never be gone from your hearts. I look forward to seeing you all in a few weeks....

hugs and kisses.... Susi

Lisa said...

I'm so sorry you have to go through this heart-break again. I know you are happy that these families have realized the value of their children, but it's still difficult to give up a child.
I pray God will guide you to your child quickly.
Sincerely,
Lisa

McKenna said...

Wow! I don't know what to type. We will pray for you guys and for Nastya and her biological family.

Anonymous said...

Hi Cara-

For some reason I was drawn to your blog. Now I know why. I am heartbroken for you guys and inspired by your faith.

Love,
Angie

schoolmother said...

How difficult this must be for you. I didn't know mamas in this country even considered taking their children with DS home. I'll pray that God will comfort you and guide you.
Joy,RR

Mike and Gail said...

I stumbled upon your blog. What age was Nastya? We adopted 4 older girls in 2 years and we have met many children, some that are available. I would love to see if any speak to your heart. Most are older then 10.
Blessings