I Refuse

There is a newer song out on the christian radio station we listen to called I Refuse by Josh Wilson.  I LOVE the lyrics.  There is so much of this song that seems like a theme song for me and our family.

Sometimes I
I just want to close my eyes
And act like everyone's alright
When I know they're not

This world needs God
But it's easier to stand and watch
I could say a prayer and just move on
Like nothing's wrong

But I refuse
'Cause I don't want to live like I don't care
I don't want to say another empty prayer
Oh, I refuse

To sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself
Oh, I could choose
Not to move but I refuse

I can hear the least of these
Crying out so desperately
And I know we are the hands and feet
Of You, oh God

So, if You say move
It's time for me to follow through
And do what I was made to do
Show them who You are

'Cause I don't want to live like I don't care
I don't want to say another empty prayer
Oh, I refuse

To sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself
Oh, I could choose
Not to move but I refuse

To stand and watch the weary and lost
Cry out for help
I refuse to turn my back
And try and act like all is well

I refuse to stay unchanged
To wait another day, to die to myself
I refuse to make one more excuse

'Cause I don't want to live like I don't care
I don't want to say another empty prayer
Oh, I refuse

To sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself
Oh, I could choose
Not to move but I refuse

I refuse
I refuse

In each adoption journey, we have felt called to go and adopt. Adoption is something we not only love, but feel called to do.  I understand that not every family is called to adopt, but I truly feel like that is HIS calling for our family.

There are many times during each adoption process that I stop and doubt HIS calling, thinking to myself, "We are perfectly happy with the children/life we have now... there are many other families out there adopting...maybe I can't handle more....I'd have to take leave from my job...".  Doubt can get the best of me.  But each time I hear Mila's giggle and remember how when we first met her, she was just a shell.  She had no giggle, no sparkle in her eye.  Then I think about how far Hannah has come, and how we wondered if she would ever be able to effectively communicate.  I'm grateful for the Lord's blessing in our life to be able to go out and to do what God has called me to do myself.  So when the Lord says go- I listen to his calling.  So, if You say move, it's time for me to follow through, and do what I was made to do and show them who You are.

I can hear the least of these, Crying out so desperately, And I know we are the hands and feet Of You, oh God.  I can't ever get the image of all the little faces we left behind each time.  The quiet cries from other rooms.  Oh, how I wanted to just go in and pick up that little one who was crying, just to comfort him/her.   I can't help but think of where those little ones will end up, possibly locked away and never given the chance to reach his/her potential.  Both my little girls LOVE to go to church.  They love the songs and to worship.  On occasion while singing/listening to music at church and in the car, the girls have raised their hands to praise the Lord.

I refuse to sit around and wait for someone else to do what God has called me to do myself.  I refuse, not to move!  

Here's is the video: (Be sure to scroll to the bottom of the page and turn the media player off before starting the video!)
http://youtu.be/6B1Lv8k5pEc