We have been blessed with two special daughters and two sons from Eastern Europe. We welcome you to follow our journey as a family of five, waiting to travel and pick up #6, with the ins and outs of family, education, farm life, and love!

Friday, March 16, 2012

While I'm waiting...

Today we received news from our son's country that he will not be able to come home until July.  I've gone through a menagerie of emotions--disbelief, sad, angry, bitter, distraught, and betrayed. 

The news came today while I was at work via an email.  I did my best to decipher the emails.  Two documents were translated into English, but were still very hard to discern and decipher what the decision was.  I forward the email to Doug and talked to him on the phone.  Between the two of us and a dear friend in our son's country, we understood that Max would not be able to come next month like we had first been told, but rather would have to wait until July to come home.  At that point, I think my mind went into auto pilot.  I dove into work, concentrated on the kiddos in my class, and buried my emotions until I was alone.

When I took my daughter to the babysitter, I had a minute in the car before walking back into school that I sat and cried.  I needed a minute alone, to grieve for my son.  As I sat in the car, I thought of the song "While I'm waiting..." by John Waller.

It is so hard to convey an emotion through words.  Emotion is understood best when visualized-- seen first-hand.  Though our son has made mistakes, we are aware he is capable of good.  He deserves love just as any other child does.  It is very hard to convey my love via Skype on the computer to him.  It is also very hard for a government official to understand why we would want to bring a child who has made a mistake into our home.  In his country, I'm sure his status of 'orphan' makes him less valuable, then an orphan who has made a mistake, is seen as even less. 

While I know in my heart he best place for our son is home, I also understand that he is living in his birth country right now and has to abide by his country's law. 

So though the wait until summer will be hard on this Mama's heart, I rest in the Lord that HE has the ultimate plan, and that HE knows the pain of this Mama's heart and will carry me through until my son is home forever.  Though I'm not sure how, we feel it might be best to make a trip to see our son before summer to let him know that, yes, we are coming.  we WILL bring him home to his forever home with his family that loves him very much!
While I'm waiting, I will serve YOU LORD....

I'm Waiting ~ John Waller

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait...


mama julie said...

Your attitude will make this setback easier, and when you have your fundraiser for $ for a trip to reassure Max, let me know. Prayers for Maxim & his loving family.

Hope Harder said...

Oh my! So disapointed for you and even more for him. I hope he hangs on and continues to believe in your love and know how bad you want him home.

Lisa said...

I am so sorry for your family and especially Max to have such a huge disappointment. So many things we don't understand. My prayers for you.

rosedel said...

I am praying for Max while he waits. Tell him that folks all over are praying for him to stay strong and hopeful.
Summer will be a good time to come home. Lots of outdoor time and ways to stay busy and work off all those anxiety times.
I'm praying for you too. July will be here soon.

Jennifer said...

Oh. . . I haven't been reading blogs forever and I came here this morning thinking, "It's almost April, NOW can they bring him home?" My heart hurts for you. And for Max. I wish there was some way to shake sense into bureaucrats. . . Praying for you all.