Remember when you were little and you rehearsed that ever important question over and over again, making sure it came out 'just right' so you were sure to get the answer you were looking for? And then when you finally got up the gumption to ask, there was that long, drawn-out silence that about brought you to your knees waiting for the answer you so desperately wanted to hear?? That's me......
God placed on my heart the want to adopt again, and adopt another child with special needs. We are so excited, contacting the agency over seas, looking at little faces, and talking together (Doug & I) about building our family again. My prayers have been for God to lead us in the right direction and that HIS will be done in our family.
...cue the silence.......... I think the silence reminds me of an old western when the town is desolate and a tumbleweed rolls through town.
God has been incredibly quiet in the last two weeks. I've been brought to my knees (literally), praying, and yet God has been silent. Trying to understand that silence is a challenge. I like challenges, don't get me wrong. Where is that voice of reason and comfort when I need it the most? Does the silence mean that HE is waiting for us to take the next step? Not just identifying the want to adopt again, but rather starting paperwork and getting serious about it? Or does the silence mean we need to take a step back and decide if Hannah has had enough time at home to adjust and is ready for a new person to share love with? HELP! What could this silence mean?
And here I am, reminded of a devotion I read. It says
"There is hardly ever a complete silence in the soul. God is whispering to us well-nigh incessantly. Whenever the sounds of the world die out in the soul, or sink low, then we hear the whisperings of God. He is always whispering to us, only we do not hear, because of the noise, hurry, and distraction which life causes as it rushes on." --F. W. Faber.
So who am I to complain for a little silence? Our church's sermons in the month of August have focused on that 'Greater things are yet to come'. I have to hope that God has greater things yet to come for our family too....
I'll continue praying, rehearsing the dialog, making sure it's just right. I'll continue listening, waiting for that answer, that I know, someday will come, and be so obvious.
In the meantime, check out this link and see all the waiting faces, desperatly wanting a Mama and Papa to love them....www.reecesrainbow.com/