The thought of a second kiddo began while exploring the web on a night when Doug was working out of town. As he continues to be out of town during the week, the Devil has worked hard on me. I began thinking "Can we really do this?" "What the heck am I thinking/doing?" "I don't know where to start". When I expressed my concerns to Doug he commented "Wow. The Devil really works on you when I'm gone!" So true!
No doubt, I don't know what we're getting into. Neither does any woman while she is pregnant. You could end up with a perfect baby or a fussy one. We could go to another country and end up with a perfect child or a "wonderfully made" kiddo. So why am I so anxious and excited about process #2? I think it may be because Doug isn't here every day. He is the one who grounds me, reminds me that "God is Bigger than the Boogie Man" (Veggie tales!) and let go and let God.
Doug and I have chosen to build our family by adoption. There are so many children all over the world that deserve the chance for a loving family. If we could give another child that chance, we are going to do it! I'm an advocate for the underdog....I want the unwanted. We would like to go sooner than later to build our family so that our kids will be close in age.
I know how to start the process, I just need God to give me a push and a whisper "It's okay, I'm with you all the way.....".
Please, Lord, give me that push. Reassure my fears. I know that you are in control and you know my heart and desires better than anyone.