We have been blessed with two special daughters and two sons from Eastern Europe. We welcome you to follow our journey as a family of five, waiting to travel and pick up #6, with the ins and outs of family, education, farm life, and love!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Lost in Thought

Tonight was a long night getting the girls to bed. If one wasn't talking, the other was crying. So I sat at the computer, staying close enough to hear them, and passing the time by looking at a friends pictures on a website.

The pictures are of a camp we know. A camp in a far away land we have visited before. A camp where a blond boy once went. A camp where that blond boy left each summer for 2-4 weeks to visit a family in Ohio who cared very much about him. And yes, I know that boy is no longer at that camp or at that orphanage, but still, I looked through close to 200 pictures, somehow hoping to see a glimpse of that boy. If he isn't here, he must be in those pictures...right?

A group gathering this weekend was bittersweet. We had all the Fostering Hope gang together, minus one. We sat and watched old hosting videos. I remember vividly that August day, almost 2 years ago, when our blond boy was getting ready to board a plane with all his friends. Our good bye was short and sweet, more of a "see you soon", rather than a "I want you to know how much I love you, in case we never meet again" kind of good bye. Our papers had been submitted, we knew it would be a short time until we saw him again....and bring him home forever.

And here I sit, close to 2 years later, praying for that boy, so far away. He is alone, in an orphanage again, with no family to call his own. Each day I think about him. I pray for him. I want him to know how much we love him. I want him to understand the love of the eternal Father, even when it seems the world has turned on him. I pray he doesn't become part of the horrible statistics. I want him to achieve. I want him to excel. I want him to feel love again.

Tonight I am thankful that God has lead us to our two beautiful, sweet girls. I pray that somehow, in some fashion, our road and that, now not so little blond boy's road will cross again. Until that day, we will continue to pray for and love him from afar.


Julie said...

It is okay to miss him and want him with you, and still be thankful for your girls that you may not have if you DID have him. Praying for some peace for you right now. God loves him even more than you do, and can work miracles in his little life. He is blessed to have a "mommy" praying for him from across the world.

I appreciate you sharing your thoughts about this. A big hug to you!


Shelley said...

I can't even imagine how you must feel about all of this.
I'll say a prayer for the little boy who was so close to having a forever family and now sits in an orphanage once again. As much as I try to see the bigger picture, there are days when I struggle with understanding the whys of the day to day suffering of individual children.

Angie said...

Cara- We all miss him terribly. At least once a week Dasha says, "I miss Max." I'm praying next year he is in that group shot!!