It was just yesterday that I was chatting with someone online about adoptions while the girls were napping. The person I was chatting with has also adopted from the two countries we have. In conversation I made comment that I didn't think I would ever go back to one of the two countries. The stay was much longer, the paperwork process was longer and more paperwork to do, and the cost was more. I told her the only way I thought I would go back to that country is if the young man we have hosted in the past became available. If we went to his country to bring him home, I would consider bringing two home at once.
God must have been preparing my heart. We have a good friend in M's country who we talk to via e-mail often. She sent me an e-mail today that has given a me a glimmer of hope. A glimmer of hope that there might still be a small chance to make this young man part of our family. I want nothing more than to give him a home here.
While driving this morning on the way to the eye doctor (by myself, so the car was quiet!) I found myself nervous about adoption of M. I began to pray, asking for guidance and peace as we learn more about the situation. And then a calm came over me.
Bringing M home now is a whole different ballpark than it was 3 years ago (when we thought we would bring him home). He has experienced more hurt since the last time we saw him in 2007. He has faced rejection of the woman who gave him life again. He was placed in a different orphanage than he was previously. He has faced emotional and physical abuse. Does that make me love him any less, no. In comparison to 3 years ago and now, we have two small girls at home to also think about.
We have talked to M several times this summer though our dear friend in his country. Despite all he has been through, he seems remarkably happy. He knows that we have invited him to visit through a winter hosting program. We are looking forward to the opportunity to have him back in his Ohio home and see him interact with his "sisters". The girls are looking forward to the boy they have seen in pictures and whom we pray for each night.
I love the season of fall, but I can't wait for winter--and to have the opportunity to hug our boy. With lots of prayers and faith, everything will work out just as HE has planned for our family.
Who knows, maybe we'll be traveling back to that country I said I didn't foresee us adopting from again....