We have been blessed with two special daughters and two sons from Eastern Europe. We welcome you to follow our journey as a family of five, waiting to travel and pick up #6, with the ins and outs of family, education, farm life, and love!

Monday, October 3, 2011

Not a post I wanted to write

Today is a day that I want to hide under a rock.  A day I want to rewind and hope when it plays over again, it will have a different outcome.  Today is a day that changes things.  A day that effects everyone in our family.  Today is a day we have both shed tears. 
Today, a lady who works at the Foundation for the Rights of Orphans came to our region to meet with the court in Max's hometown.  Over the summer Max was caught stealing. He and a peer left the orphanage and took a bus to another small town nearby.  When the boys arrived in the small town, they were hungry, so stole a piece of metal pipe, sold it, so that they could buy food.  Max and his peer were caught, and because of this, he and a peer are on a year of probation.  This does not mean that we cannot adopt him, but that he cannot leave the country during his year of probation.  A letter of amnesty was written by the orphanage director, (which would clear his record because he is a minor and an orphan and allow him to leave the country) but we learned today that amnesty cannot be granted until 6 months after the conviction.  Six months would be January.  After the six months, he can then be re-registered with a clean record and will be ready to leave the country in April.
Our hearts are heavy tonight.  We know that our son has a good heart.  I think in his mind, he did what he thought he had to do in order to survive.  Thankfully, none of us have ever been in this situation.  None of us have ever had to deal with what our boy has had to endure.  We have never lived in a place where there was no mention of God.  We have never lived in a place where we weren't accountable to anyone. We haven't ever lived in a place where no one cared about us. We haven't ever lived in a place where there wasn't a moral code instilled in us.  Our boy has endured more physical pain and mental anguish from many years of being in a broken home or a home where the entire floor of the orphanage share one "Mama".  He needs to be reminded that he is capable of good--and reminded that we have witnessed and continue to see the good in him.  Just because he made a mistake does not mean that he is not worthy of love from a Mother and Father.  I thank God today especially as I have a visual reminder, and every day that God does not turn away from me and say that I am not worthy of love because of the mistakes I have made.
These next six months will be painstakingly hard for us.  We will have to leave our son behind and yet remind him that we have not forgotten him and we are coming back for him.  We have to make a decision of where the most positive environment for him will be during those six months. We will have to celebrate Christmas and his birthday with him in a different country that us. 
This adoption journey is not the one we planned.  This was not the outcome we wanted.  I'm almost sure that this is not the outcome Max wanted.  We ask for your continued prayers as we attempt to parent a child from countries away and lift him up in a way that he is reminded that he has a good heart and is capable of great things.  We are resting in the peace that although this is not the great outcome we had hoped for, it is the one that God has perfectly planned for us. 


Anonymous said...

I am so sorry about this. Max and your family - HIS family! - will be in my prayers during this time of waiting. Perhaps viewing it as a time of preparation for all of you will make it a bit easier to bear...

Best wishes,
Susan in Ky
Cousin to 2 from EE

Dave Pettengill said...

I will just say it...That Sucks! I can't imagine the pain and frustration that you all are feeling. I know Max would have a loving home with your family and it doesn't make any sense to make him stay longer in the orphanage. I say all of that to let you know I love you guys and wish you all the best.

Julia said...

I'm sorry. I'm also praying that YOUR SON will be comforted during this time and that when you are able to bring him across the water, that his heart will be ready to submit fully to your love and guidance. Praying for you that God will grant you wisdom as you decide what is best for him and for you during this period. Oh I am sorry.