The second appointment went well at the US Embassy in Kiev. Our younger son now has a Ukrainian passport to leave the country and a US visa to enter his new country!
Doug and Karen will start their journey as many of us are headed to bed. Their flight leaves Kiev at 6:45am, which is 11:45pm Ohio time. They arrive in Munich, Germany at 8:10am (2:10am Ohio time) and leave Munich at 11:30am (5:30am Ohio time) and arrive in Washington DC at 2:45pm. Their final leg home to Columbus will leave at 5:00pm and get them home right after 6:00pm.
Today, every time I thought about Elijah coming home I got butterflies in my stomach, and got excited. Then almost instantly, my stomach went to knots, thinking about our other son who has to stay in Ukraine. He's MY son. He has OUR last name, and yet he has to stay in another country. I know we have little control over the situation, but it feels horrible leaving one son behind.
I know that when a child is in the process of begin adopted, other children at the orphanage are jealous. Why wouldn't they be? One kiddo is being visited daily, doted over, getting special treatment, candy, and undivided attention. Others sometimes tease and make fun of the kiddo being adopted out of spite. The child, in this case; our son, was counting down the days, asking when he would be going to America. He could see the light at the end of the tunnel. He knew the end was near. And then, as soon as the end was near, a detour was put up that would take him a different direction, and take a long time to get home. He had counted the days. And now, the countdown will take much longer. I'm sure the teasing has continued. Kids can be so mean. I pray that my son can rise above the meanness and jealousy of others.
I pray that the next six months pass quickly. I'm ready to be a mother of 4. Our teenage son....the one who stated our adoption journey in the beginning...will be home with a family that loves him very much. Christmas and birthdays have been hard before, and I have a feeling on both sides of the world, they will be even harder this year. With God's grace, we will be able to look back on these next six months and say "that wasn't so bad....time went quickly."
Hurry home boys. There are three girls at home anxiously awaiting your arrival!
Showing posts with label Journey 3. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Journey 3. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Kiev-appointments, day 1
Okay this could be interesting. I'm trying to type one handed because someone little has figured out he's not at the orphanage anymore and when I put him down he just cries. It just breaks my heart. So he is still awake fighting going to sleep like a real champ.
Nikko met us at the train station and helped us with our bags. After a not so good breakfast at the McFoxxy we left for the U.S. Embassy. When we arrived at the Embassy, I filled the remainder of the paper work out and then headed we to have Eli's medical evaluation done. Once there, we waited for a bit to see the doctor and ran into another RR family, the Hinz's, who were finishing up too. It's always nice meeting other families on the same journey as you. The Hinz family adopted a little boy from the region next to ours. We shared the same lawyer/facilitator. The Hinz family adopted an adorable little boy whom we have prayed for for two years. Our family was Sterling's prayer warrior. Two years in a row when Hannah and I attended our church's annual prayer vigil for orphans and foster families, Hannah would take his picture off the fridge and take ti with her to the prayer vigil. She would pray for Sterling, that soon a family would come for him so that he wouldn't be an orphan anymore. Her prayers have been answered!
So we went to our apartment next and got settled in. My other newly adopted son calls me only its from another number that I don't recognize. I answer. He says,"Pop its me, Max; call my phone." So I do and get this message that "the caller is unavailable, please send sms or try back later." I call the number that he called from to get to me and he answered the phone. I asked him what was wrong with his phone, and he tells me the SIM card is missing. I asked "What are you doing messing with your sim card, it should stay put in the phone". Max said a friend needed to call his grandmother so he let him borrow his SIM card, and now it is lost. I asked him why not just let him borrow the whole phone, and he didn't have a good answer. I told him that I couldn't fix this for him now since I was in Kiev, and that he needed to use his head a little better. He could I was disappointed in him, and I was was, but I really reinforced that I love him no matter what. That I was angry with him, but I did want him to make good decisions. He apologized and said that they would keep looking for it. About a half hour later, I get another call. This time from his number, on the SIM card that I had bought for him. He was happy to tell me that they found it. I never found out where it was lost at, and I probably don't want to know. Its a whole different world in an orphanage. I try not to hold to much judgment on him. It's a rough life, and it just got a whole lot tougher on him. The boy who was going to America, the one who started getting harassed because of others jealously now has to live with those same boys. I know he gets picked on and even beat up a lot there. His care takers have told us this. I'm sure now the 'boy with the bump" as they call him is getting even more ridiculed. It's no wonder he let someone else borrow his SIM card. The disappointment of me was probably far easier than the fist of another. He has called me three more times tonight. Its great to hear his voice. I make sure to tell him every time how I love him, and that he just needs to hang in there a little longer, and that he does have a Mama and Papa now. I tell him that I promise, I'm coming back for him.
Elijah had his first bath today. We only filled the bathtub with very little water. At first he wasn't sure what to think and I held him up in a sitting position or on his back while I washed him. After I finished washing him, I rolled him on his tummy and he was quite happy playing in the water, giggling when he splashed.
I'm only finishing this post because Eli finally went to bed. 11:57 was the magic number. The dreaded second night. It's always the worst. I was hoping he was going to be different. Boy was I wrong. He finally realized that he wasn't in the orphanage any more. I kept getting this look as he crying, kinda like he was saying "Papa you're a pretty cool guy and all, but your really not the one I want right now. Take me back "home"! Where's my Mamas?" Finally after many times of waking up when I layed him down after he fell asleep in my arms, he finally relented. The good news is that he was up long enough to talk to him Mama and his sister for the first time. I know the girls had a great time seeing more than just photos of him.
Tomorrow we have our second Embassy appointment, and I will probably have my last post. This has been fun, though at times it more emotional than I ever thought it would be. It just seems that once you start talking about your day, your feelings just start blurting out. I guess it is kind of therapy in its own way, even if the rest of the world knows now......
Nikko met us at the train station and helped us with our bags. After a not so good breakfast at the McFoxxy we left for the U.S. Embassy. When we arrived at the Embassy, I filled the remainder of the paper work out and then headed we to have Eli's medical evaluation done. Once there, we waited for a bit to see the doctor and ran into another RR family, the Hinz's, who were finishing up too. It's always nice meeting other families on the same journey as you. The Hinz family adopted a little boy from the region next to ours. We shared the same lawyer/facilitator. The Hinz family adopted an adorable little boy whom we have prayed for for two years. Our family was Sterling's prayer warrior. Two years in a row when Hannah and I attended our church's annual prayer vigil for orphans and foster families, Hannah would take his picture off the fridge and take ti with her to the prayer vigil. She would pray for Sterling, that soon a family would come for him so that he wouldn't be an orphan anymore. Her prayers have been answered!
So we went to our apartment next and got settled in. My other newly adopted son calls me only its from another number that I don't recognize. I answer. He says,"Pop its me, Max; call my phone." So I do and get this message that "the caller is unavailable, please send sms or try back later." I call the number that he called from to get to me and he answered the phone. I asked him what was wrong with his phone, and he tells me the SIM card is missing. I asked "What are you doing messing with your sim card, it should stay put in the phone". Max said a friend needed to call his grandmother so he let him borrow his SIM card, and now it is lost. I asked him why not just let him borrow the whole phone, and he didn't have a good answer. I told him that I couldn't fix this for him now since I was in Kiev, and that he needed to use his head a little better. He could I was disappointed in him, and I was was, but I really reinforced that I love him no matter what. That I was angry with him, but I did want him to make good decisions. He apologized and said that they would keep looking for it. About a half hour later, I get another call. This time from his number, on the SIM card that I had bought for him. He was happy to tell me that they found it. I never found out where it was lost at, and I probably don't want to know. Its a whole different world in an orphanage. I try not to hold to much judgment on him. It's a rough life, and it just got a whole lot tougher on him. The boy who was going to America, the one who started getting harassed because of others jealously now has to live with those same boys. I know he gets picked on and even beat up a lot there. His care takers have told us this. I'm sure now the 'boy with the bump" as they call him is getting even more ridiculed. It's no wonder he let someone else borrow his SIM card. The disappointment of me was probably far easier than the fist of another. He has called me three more times tonight. Its great to hear his voice. I make sure to tell him every time how I love him, and that he just needs to hang in there a little longer, and that he does have a Mama and Papa now. I tell him that I promise, I'm coming back for him.
Elijah had his first bath today. We only filled the bathtub with very little water. At first he wasn't sure what to think and I held him up in a sitting position or on his back while I washed him. After I finished washing him, I rolled him on his tummy and he was quite happy playing in the water, giggling when he splashed.
I'm only finishing this post because Eli finally went to bed. 11:57 was the magic number. The dreaded second night. It's always the worst. I was hoping he was going to be different. Boy was I wrong. He finally realized that he wasn't in the orphanage any more. I kept getting this look as he crying, kinda like he was saying "Papa you're a pretty cool guy and all, but your really not the one I want right now. Take me back "home"! Where's my Mamas?" Finally after many times of waking up when I layed him down after he fell asleep in my arms, he finally relented. The good news is that he was up long enough to talk to him Mama and his sister for the first time. I know the girls had a great time seeing more than just photos of him.
Tomorrow we have our second Embassy appointment, and I will probably have my last post. This has been fun, though at times it more emotional than I ever thought it would be. It just seems that once you start talking about your day, your feelings just start blurting out. I guess it is kind of therapy in its own way, even if the rest of the world knows now......
Monday, October 24, 2011
Bitter Sweet
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| Large play pens in the groupa room. |
Elijah's birth parents gave up their parental rights at birth. We have no doubt that his parents had a hard decision to make when he was born. In Elijah's country, there is no assistance for children with disabilities. The country is no accessible to children/adults in wheelchairs. There are no special education programs for children. We have no idea how often Elijah's mother visited, or if she just came because the orphanage called and told her he would be leaving. It is nice to know that now she can be proud of her son and the accomplishments he is making once thriving in a family.
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| Play area in his groupa room. A couple of times we saw Eli in the exosaucer when we arrived for visits. |
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| His name on the end of his crib. |
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| The crib in his groupa room. |
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| Little man at the apartment on the day Papa sprang him from the orphanage. |
On the way back to the apartment, a stop was made to pick up Elijah's passport and get pictures for Elijah's Visa at the Embassy.
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| Brothers enjoying one another. |
Grandma had stayed at the apartment this morning with Max. When they got back, both Grandma and max were glad to see Elijah and play with him. They called home to Ohio at 6:19am. Mama had just woken up, so she quickly got ready for school, then had a chance to Skype with the boys. Max is so gentle with his little brother. Elijah was happy to be the center of attention and chew on his pacifier. He played with his hands and cooed a little while we talked.
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| Brothers. |
Once they arrived at the orphanage, they waited on the director. She was surprised that T was not with them. After some discussion between the director and Diana, the director asked if Doug would write a note as Max's father allowing Nate and Diana to take Max out of the orphanage as they like until we return. Doug said this time when he signed his name, it didn't feel so good. In a way, he was acknowledging that he couldn't be there for Max and be the parent he wants to be for the next six months.
They took Max back up to his groupa room. His "Mama" Olga was there and Doug gave her the pots they had purchased for her. After that, they walked down to the Life International wing and introduced themselves to the staff. Nate and Diana are going to encourage max of what a great opportunity it is to have Life International at the orphanage. These adults could be an encouraging factor in Max's life while living at the orphanage. At one time Max was very involved with Life International. One employee told us that once max's best friend moved away, he stopped coming because he felt alone.
Once Doug got back to the apartment, Eli was taking a nap. Grandma had fed him lunch while Papa was gone, and with a full belly, he napped well. Grandma thickened his liquids and gave him all the time he needed to eat his lunch. She said it took him 40 minutes to eat--a lot different from the quick 10 minute big spoonful shovel they use at the orphanage.
They finished last minute packing and headed out for the train station for the overnight train ride to Kiev. I'm sure pulling out of the train station was bittersweet. Leaving one son behind, and taking one. I remember being emotional leaving Odessa in 2007. We were leaving Hannah's homeland. We were leaving the only country she ever knew. I hope that Elijah sleeps soundly on the train tonight. They have a busy mornign tomorrow.
They will arrive in Kiev tomorrow morning around 6:30am. They will have the first embassy appointment tomorrow morning to turn in their paperwork and hopefully have a medical appointment. Our prayer is that the medical is uneventful and smooth.
Everyone is still on track to arrive home on Thursday evening. Doug, Karen, and Elijah will begin their long journey home before we head to bed on Wednesday evening and arrive home a little after 6:00pm Thursday. A total of over 24 hours traveling with layovers!
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Last night
Tonight is the last night for both of our boys.
For Elijah, tonight is the last night he will ever sleep in a room crowded with rows of cribs. Tonight is the last night he will be put in bed without a good-night kiss. Tonight is the last he sleeps with other children. Tonight is his last night as an orphan. Tomorrow, Papa will arrive at his baby house, sign some papers, dress him in the clothes Mama sent for him and bundle him up to go outside. Tomorrow is the last day Papa has to turn in his passport. Tomorrow, Papa will take his son and walk through the orphanage gates. Tomorrow one small little boy will begin to see a whole new world.
Tonight has a very different feel for our older boy. Though tonight seems like a "last night", his time is only temporary, and soon, he too will have his "last night". Tonight is the last night that Max will be sleeping at home. Tonight, he sleeps on a fold out bed in Doug's apartment. He is in his own clothes. He has taken a hot shower as often as he likes, for as long as he likes. Tonight Max got to choose what he had for dinner, rather than being served what is on the menu. Tonight is the last night that Papa will say "Good night, I love you". Tomorrow, Max returns to the orphanage. He becomes one of many that a "Mama" has to watch over. Tomorrow he will be back to sharing a bedroom with 5 other boys and have 1 small shelf to himself. Tomorrow, he will be back to sharing all his belongings. My prayer is that max realizes that the orphanage is just his temporary home. We will all be counting the days until Doug can return to bring him home.
As I sit here tonight in a quiet house, with my two girls tucked into bed, I struggle with what tomorrow brings. Tomorrow is such an emotional day for both boys. Our little boy has no idea what tomorrow brings, what opportunities and love awaits him. Our big boy fully understands what lies in front of him. Max understnds what he will be missing out on for the next six months.
I'm sitting in the bedroom that will be Max's. There is no bed in his room. Four years ago, we were so excited about bringing home a son, that we went out and purchased bunk beds. When we came home from Ukraine in 2007, we had a 3 year old little one that needed a crib. I remember crying as we took down the beds. All our hopes and dreams for our boy were lost. And now, here I sit in an empty room. We were hesitant to fill his room--to get our hopes up again. And tonight, I realize once again, that we will soon have or son home, in his room...forever. No more short trips. No more "I'ma no Ukraine". Very soon, he will be home, forever.
Tomorrow will be a horribly emotional day for Doug. He needs our prayers as he begins a new life with Elijah, and says good bye to Max once again. Though he knows his goodbye is only temporary, it will hurt all the same.
As Doug has struggled through these last 10 days with ever changing decisions, last minute changes, and trying times, we have continued to pray, placing our trust in God. He has the ultimate plan, though it may at times seem like one crisis after another. In Joel 2:13 it says "Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity. Joel chapter 2 reminds us that with every life crisis comes an opportunity to re-focus our life. Every "mini crisis" in this adoption is just a small, and perfectly planned bump in God's path for us.
I have enjoyed reading Doug's blogs while he has been in Ukraine, reading the scripture that is on his heart that day. He has such a love and passion for the Lord and for his family. His greatest desire is to set the orphans in families as God commanded, and he is doing just that.
For Elijah, tonight is the last night he will ever sleep in a room crowded with rows of cribs. Tonight is the last night he will be put in bed without a good-night kiss. Tonight is the last he sleeps with other children. Tonight is his last night as an orphan. Tomorrow, Papa will arrive at his baby house, sign some papers, dress him in the clothes Mama sent for him and bundle him up to go outside. Tomorrow is the last day Papa has to turn in his passport. Tomorrow, Papa will take his son and walk through the orphanage gates. Tomorrow one small little boy will begin to see a whole new world.
As I sit here tonight in a quiet house, with my two girls tucked into bed, I struggle with what tomorrow brings. Tomorrow is such an emotional day for both boys. Our little boy has no idea what tomorrow brings, what opportunities and love awaits him. Our big boy fully understands what lies in front of him. Max understnds what he will be missing out on for the next six months.
I'm sitting in the bedroom that will be Max's. There is no bed in his room. Four years ago, we were so excited about bringing home a son, that we went out and purchased bunk beds. When we came home from Ukraine in 2007, we had a 3 year old little one that needed a crib. I remember crying as we took down the beds. All our hopes and dreams for our boy were lost. And now, here I sit in an empty room. We were hesitant to fill his room--to get our hopes up again. And tonight, I realize once again, that we will soon have or son home, in his room...forever. No more short trips. No more "I'ma no Ukraine". Very soon, he will be home, forever.
Tomorrow will be a horribly emotional day for Doug. He needs our prayers as he begins a new life with Elijah, and says good bye to Max once again. Though he knows his goodbye is only temporary, it will hurt all the same.
As Doug has struggled through these last 10 days with ever changing decisions, last minute changes, and trying times, we have continued to pray, placing our trust in God. He has the ultimate plan, though it may at times seem like one crisis after another. In Joel 2:13 it says "Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity. Joel chapter 2 reminds us that with every life crisis comes an opportunity to re-focus our life. Every "mini crisis" in this adoption is just a small, and perfectly planned bump in God's path for us.
I have enjoyed reading Doug's blogs while he has been in Ukraine, reading the scripture that is on his heart that day. He has such a love and passion for the Lord and for his family. His greatest desire is to set the orphans in families as God commanded, and he is doing just that.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Two cities, one blog
(written by Cara)
This morning in Ukraine started long before than the girls and I woke here in Ohio. Nate picked Doug and Karen up and headed out to Loubityn to pick up Max. When they arrived at the orphanage, they found Max in his dormitory (which is untypical for our Saturday visits...we typically have to track him down!) Max's groupa Mama, Olga, who was working the last time we took Max out for the weekend was there. She told Doug that he could keep Max until Monday, since it is fall break. Doug signed the paper saying that he would care for and look after him while he was out of the orphanage (ha!). She wrote down Doug's phone number and the address where he was staying as well as taking Nate's number and address.
Max was proud to show Nate and Karen around the orphanage grounds. Around the back of the orphanage, they have a place to keep animals. When Doug and I were there in September, there was a herd of cows that would graze the grounds around the outskirts of the orphanage. Today when walking around, they stooped to see the horses that had returned. (Big, Percheron looking draft horses) There was a foal, so everyone stopped to observe for a while.
Once back in Kharkov, they stopped to look for a cell phone for Max. Nate had done some research on phones, and they were looking to get Max a cell phone from a particular company because Nate, Diana, and Anya all have the same cell phone provider, so it will cost Max little to nothing to call any of them. They looked several places to find the best deal, stores, open air market, and in a Metro station. While at the open air market, Doug found a couple large pots that a teacher had asked for and some yummy and cheap fruits and veggies.
After some shopping, they went to pick up Daina at the apartment and went to La Cucuracha for lunch. After lunch one more stop to look for the best priced cell phone, sim card (you have to buy the sim card separate in Ukraine, which have several options for plans depending on what Sim card you buy). Nate and Doug found the phone Max had wanted in the color he had wanted for a cheaper price. Max had waited int he car, so Doug was able to surprise Max. The smile on Max's face was worth all the searching.
Next stop was the Rost market to purchase diapers, wipes, baby food for Mr Elijah as well as some standard groceries. Then back to Nate and Dianan's for some lunch. Nate made pizza, and Diana and Max made salad. (Ukrainian salad is tomatoes and cucumbers). Beth Nate and Diana were impressed at how much Max smiled, how at ease he felt, and how well mannered he was. Nate took some time to put music on Max's phone--including Chris Tomlin.
Upon arrival home, Doug called home to tell us Max was super excited about his phone and I should call him. The girls and I finished lunch, then called. The phone rang and rang and rang. Finally, my son answered the phone. There was a lot of noise in the background. On the other end of the line, my son said "Hi....I'm in the shower. I can't talk!"
We then skyped with Doug and Max and Grandma. It was so good to see my handsome boy, by husband, and his Mom. We talked for about 30 minutes or better. They all seem quite happy to be together.
The girls and I spent the day cooking and cleaning. This morning we made spaghetti sauce to put in the freezer for future dinners, and enjoyed some for lunch. We cleaned the entire upstairs. We have been looking at our house from the eyes of a 17 month old. Hannah is a great helper. Mila....well, she doesn't go far from where I put her. We rearranged where diapers, shoes, and clothes were in their room are to get ready for a little brother. The girls were excited to tell Papa we found a new place for their television. It was a good day, spent together. We didn't even leave the house!
We're counting down the days until Papa is home again.
Tonight, as we said prayers before bed, Mila prayed first, then Hannah followed. Her prayers are sweet and expanding as she understands more and more of who God is. Tonight, she prayed for a wonderful day, a wonderful family, and thanked God that He lead Mama and Papa to Ukraine to bring home her brothers. She said, "A family is better with brother and sisters who have a Mama and Papa, and now Max and Eli have a family, and I thank you for that God." She thanked God for "this time that we can pray, praise you, and worship you....in all the glory you are." She was sure to pray to bring Papa and Grandma home safely, and to "watch over Max until he can home. I can't wait for him to come home, even though it may be a little while, but I really want to give my big brother a big hug..."
My sweet little girl, she couldn't have said it better. We can't wait for a 'big stinky brother' (Hannah's words) to come home so that we can give him a big hug!
This morning in Ukraine started long before than the girls and I woke here in Ohio. Nate picked Doug and Karen up and headed out to Loubityn to pick up Max. When they arrived at the orphanage, they found Max in his dormitory (which is untypical for our Saturday visits...we typically have to track him down!) Max's groupa Mama, Olga, who was working the last time we took Max out for the weekend was there. She told Doug that he could keep Max until Monday, since it is fall break. Doug signed the paper saying that he would care for and look after him while he was out of the orphanage (ha!). She wrote down Doug's phone number and the address where he was staying as well as taking Nate's number and address.
Max was proud to show Nate and Karen around the orphanage grounds. Around the back of the orphanage, they have a place to keep animals. When Doug and I were there in September, there was a herd of cows that would graze the grounds around the outskirts of the orphanage. Today when walking around, they stooped to see the horses that had returned. (Big, Percheron looking draft horses) There was a foal, so everyone stopped to observe for a while.
Once back in Kharkov, they stopped to look for a cell phone for Max. Nate had done some research on phones, and they were looking to get Max a cell phone from a particular company because Nate, Diana, and Anya all have the same cell phone provider, so it will cost Max little to nothing to call any of them. They looked several places to find the best deal, stores, open air market, and in a Metro station. While at the open air market, Doug found a couple large pots that a teacher had asked for and some yummy and cheap fruits and veggies.
After some shopping, they went to pick up Daina at the apartment and went to La Cucuracha for lunch. After lunch one more stop to look for the best priced cell phone, sim card (you have to buy the sim card separate in Ukraine, which have several options for plans depending on what Sim card you buy). Nate and Doug found the phone Max had wanted in the color he had wanted for a cheaper price. Max had waited int he car, so Doug was able to surprise Max. The smile on Max's face was worth all the searching.
Next stop was the Rost market to purchase diapers, wipes, baby food for Mr Elijah as well as some standard groceries. Then back to Nate and Dianan's for some lunch. Nate made pizza, and Diana and Max made salad. (Ukrainian salad is tomatoes and cucumbers). Beth Nate and Diana were impressed at how much Max smiled, how at ease he felt, and how well mannered he was. Nate took some time to put music on Max's phone--including Chris Tomlin.
Upon arrival home, Doug called home to tell us Max was super excited about his phone and I should call him. The girls and I finished lunch, then called. The phone rang and rang and rang. Finally, my son answered the phone. There was a lot of noise in the background. On the other end of the line, my son said "Hi....I'm in the shower. I can't talk!"
We then skyped with Doug and Max and Grandma. It was so good to see my handsome boy, by husband, and his Mom. We talked for about 30 minutes or better. They all seem quite happy to be together.
The girls and I spent the day cooking and cleaning. This morning we made spaghetti sauce to put in the freezer for future dinners, and enjoyed some for lunch. We cleaned the entire upstairs. We have been looking at our house from the eyes of a 17 month old. Hannah is a great helper. Mila....well, she doesn't go far from where I put her. We rearranged where diapers, shoes, and clothes were in their room are to get ready for a little brother. The girls were excited to tell Papa we found a new place for their television. It was a good day, spent together. We didn't even leave the house!
We're counting down the days until Papa is home again.
Tonight, as we said prayers before bed, Mila prayed first, then Hannah followed. Her prayers are sweet and expanding as she understands more and more of who God is. Tonight, she prayed for a wonderful day, a wonderful family, and thanked God that He lead Mama and Papa to Ukraine to bring home her brothers. She said, "A family is better with brother and sisters who have a Mama and Papa, and now Max and Eli have a family, and I thank you for that God." She thanked God for "this time that we can pray, praise you, and worship you....in all the glory you are." She was sure to pray to bring Papa and Grandma home safely, and to "watch over Max until he can home. I can't wait for him to come home, even though it may be a little while, but I really want to give my big brother a big hug..."
My sweet little girl, she couldn't have said it better. We can't wait for a 'big stinky brother' (Hannah's words) to come home so that we can give him a big hug!
Friday, October 21, 2011
A decision finally!!!!
Today we started off waiting. Waiting for a phone call to see if we could visit this other orphanage that so many people rave about.(as far as orphanages go) T finally called about 9:15 and told us she would pick us up at 10:30. When she arrived we went to see Eli at his orphanage. I wish I had known this I would have brought some toys with me, but I didn't know this was on the agenda today, not that I minded!!! We arrived and played with my son while T went and closed out his bank account. She came back, we left the director a gift (Eli's money from his bank account) and then we went to look at the new orphanage where we thought about placing Max. It was nice. A little different, but nice. It was different in that, the kids go to a public school, which is common in some areas, but they also get bussed to another area close by to sleep at night. They visit the building we saw just before and after school until bed time. Not a bad place, just different. So T told the director our situation and after some coercing she agreed, but only first with a letter from the U.S. Embassy. Since Max has parents that are American citizens this causes a big problem. Ukrainian orphanages are only for children that are Ukrainian citizens, with Ukrainian parents. The director wanted a letter from the U.S Embassy stating that they were aware of the situation and gave their approval. This is no problem except that we didn't find this out until almost 3pm today and the Embassy closed at 4. We also had to have it done by Monday since we are leaving for Kiev on Monday evening. It just wasn't going to happen. Plus, the orphanage wanted a monthly donation of something between 100 and 200 dollars per month. This is what the average cost is I was told, but I could give what I wanted it was a donation. Even T didn't like this idea. So she called the director of the orphanage of were Max is currently at and explained our situation and said he could continue to stay there, but she would like a gift. So it looks like he won't be moving after all. I still have to figure out what a gift is, but I still think it will cheaper, an easier transition, and if by chance he still gets to leave earlier than April, it will make the return trip easier. I just hope he can behave there.
We made a few more stops after the orphanage visit and then headed back to the apartment. Once behind closed doors, I called home and vented and unloaded all this mountain of information onto Cara. She was gracious and just let me vent to her. We then proceeded to Nate's house for dinner and games. It was a great evening with friends from the church. We ate, fellowshiped and played dominoes. What a great time. We made plans for Nate to pick us up in the morning, travel to Max's orphanage, and pick Max up for the weekend. This will probably be the last time we really have to spend with him until we have to go to Kiev. I hope they let us take him for the whole weekend, and there aren't any hiccups with this. Please pray the director lets him be excused for Saturday and Sunday. I am his father now I would think that should have some merit. It will be a great and tough weekend. It will be bitter sweet. I can't wait to spend the time with him, and for him to meet Nate and his wife Diana, but taking back on Sunday evening is going to be tough. Monday is going to be even tougher. Monday I have to sign him over to the orphanage as his father. I have written my name millions of times, but I don't think any of them have hurt like this is going to. I'm trying to prepare my heart for the ache, but I know there's no stopping it from happening. I love this boy. He's my Son. He needs to be with me and his Mama. He has wanted this more than anyone, and I feel like the door is being slammed again. I know we will get him in a few months. I know this is just temporary, but to him I know it will feel like an eternity. Just a few weeks ago he was dreaming about his dreams coming true. Finally having a family, the one that he wanted and it was in America. Now he has to watch that family leave, his family, while he stays in the one place he doesn't want to be. Please pray for him. Pray that God gives him the strength to carry on. Pray that God gives him the wisdom to make good decisions. Pray that the Ukrainian government grants him amnesty and I can come back and bring him home in a couple weeks and not the 6 months. Pray for me and Cara as we deal with trying to be a parent to child 5000 miles away. Pray that we find the rest of the funds we need for a third trip back to Ukraine to bring our son home. Pray for me as I sign my signature saying that I give them permission to take care of his needs while he is here. Pray for Nate and Diana as they so graciously take the role of Cara and I as best they know how. They already have a full schedule and still have decided to take on this role. Pray that they can be the encouragement that Max needs, the level headed one that he listens too and the ones that he can call when he is in need.
This entire journey has been long, and it has been rough, and its still not over. I know God has his plan that he is still unfolding, and it is beautiful. He has something special in store for Max. This boy has been through so much in his 14 years. Things most of us couldn't experience in a lifetime. If there is ever anyone on this earth tough enough to endure this, it is him. God knows this and I think Max does to. This is all God's plan. It is perfect. It might not seem perfect to me, but I only see a little bit of the puzzle. I know that He is in control, and in Him I put all of my trust. After all, it is out of His love for Cara and I, and Max that He has called us on this journey. He asked us to endure this only because He loves us and He sees the whole puzzle put together. And with that, I can truly say, It is well with my soul.
We made a few more stops after the orphanage visit and then headed back to the apartment. Once behind closed doors, I called home and vented and unloaded all this mountain of information onto Cara. She was gracious and just let me vent to her. We then proceeded to Nate's house for dinner and games. It was a great evening with friends from the church. We ate, fellowshiped and played dominoes. What a great time. We made plans for Nate to pick us up in the morning, travel to Max's orphanage, and pick Max up for the weekend. This will probably be the last time we really have to spend with him until we have to go to Kiev. I hope they let us take him for the whole weekend, and there aren't any hiccups with this. Please pray the director lets him be excused for Saturday and Sunday. I am his father now I would think that should have some merit. It will be a great and tough weekend. It will be bitter sweet. I can't wait to spend the time with him, and for him to meet Nate and his wife Diana, but taking back on Sunday evening is going to be tough. Monday is going to be even tougher. Monday I have to sign him over to the orphanage as his father. I have written my name millions of times, but I don't think any of them have hurt like this is going to. I'm trying to prepare my heart for the ache, but I know there's no stopping it from happening. I love this boy. He's my Son. He needs to be with me and his Mama. He has wanted this more than anyone, and I feel like the door is being slammed again. I know we will get him in a few months. I know this is just temporary, but to him I know it will feel like an eternity. Just a few weeks ago he was dreaming about his dreams coming true. Finally having a family, the one that he wanted and it was in America. Now he has to watch that family leave, his family, while he stays in the one place he doesn't want to be. Please pray for him. Pray that God gives him the strength to carry on. Pray that God gives him the wisdom to make good decisions. Pray that the Ukrainian government grants him amnesty and I can come back and bring him home in a couple weeks and not the 6 months. Pray for me and Cara as we deal with trying to be a parent to child 5000 miles away. Pray that we find the rest of the funds we need for a third trip back to Ukraine to bring our son home. Pray for me as I sign my signature saying that I give them permission to take care of his needs while he is here. Pray for Nate and Diana as they so graciously take the role of Cara and I as best they know how. They already have a full schedule and still have decided to take on this role. Pray that they can be the encouragement that Max needs, the level headed one that he listens too and the ones that he can call when he is in need.
This entire journey has been long, and it has been rough, and its still not over. I know God has his plan that he is still unfolding, and it is beautiful. He has something special in store for Max. This boy has been through so much in his 14 years. Things most of us couldn't experience in a lifetime. If there is ever anyone on this earth tough enough to endure this, it is him. God knows this and I think Max does to. This is all God's plan. It is perfect. It might not seem perfect to me, but I only see a little bit of the puzzle. I know that He is in control, and in Him I put all of my trust. After all, it is out of His love for Cara and I, and Max that He has called us on this journey. He asked us to endure this only because He loves us and He sees the whole puzzle put together. And with that, I can truly say, It is well with my soul.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Paper chase, day #2
Doug and Karen were up early this morning and out the door to pick Elijah up for his passport picture. Our facilitator asked for money before they went into the building as well as after being in the building. Maybe the dollars helped get the passport faster. The passport price was higher than what had been quoted to us two weeks ago. Amazing how the price inflates in two week's time. I guess it's one of those things you just grin and bear it, knowing that in the end, it's what gets your kiddos home.
When entering the building, there was a long line, but Doug and Karen went to the front, got Elijah's picture taken and got everything sent out to be processed. We've been told that the passport will arrive on Monday.
Then on to Max's birth town, which is about 90 minutes outside the city. Now we have new birth certificates for both boys, and a passport in process for Elijah.
There has been a lot of discussion about Max and his possible move to another orphanage. We had first been told that we had the choice as Max's legal parents to move him to any orphanage in the country. We had talked with our friend Anya, who lives in another region, and we decided it would be best to sen him to an orphanage close to her so that he could be in contact with her until we could come back to get him. Then, we were told that he would need to stay in the same region he is in now. So after Doug and I talked last night, we decided to move him to an orphanage in his region that our friends Nate and Diana volunteer at. Well, we were told it was a "bad" orphanage (like dirty/old kinda bad), then we were told that Max couldn't go to a state run orphanage, but would need to go to a privately run orphanage or stay at the orphanage he is at now.
All this information for Doug to digest. First, we feel horrible that as Max's legal parents, we can't even do what is best for him in this situation because of the "bureaucracy", then to have all this information told to you through broken English. On top of all that, you feel so helpless, because your wife is in another country, 7 hours behind you time wise, and the decision you want to make together--if there is really a decision for us to make.
I talked to Doug at lunch time today as well as after school. I think he was overwhelmed and it was good to talk. This afternoon we talked for a long time and at one point he started to cry. No a good situation since I was driving in the rain on our way to therapy for the girls, trying not to cry too. Doug told me that new, and dear friends of ours in Ukraine offered to take Max in. Can you believe that? People, who we just met in September, offered to care for our son for six months. Doug was blown away and greatly humbled by this gesture. Because Nate and Diana minister to orphans around the country of Ukraine in the winter, it would not be possible for Max to live with them. Nate told Doug they "would help Max in any way they could". Doug told Nate that he would just like someone to be there for Max, to be a voice of reason, to be a "father" figure when he couldn't. Nate and Diana have been gracious enough to be Max's lifeline during his "limbo" time int he country, committing to drive to his orphanage, pick him up and take him to church. They are willing to touch base with him weekly, pray with him and for him, and help guide him in our absence.
Tomorrow- Friday, Doug, Karen, and the facilitator are going to check out one other option for an orphanage placement in the city of Kharkov. It is a privately run orphanage, so there might be a hefty cost involved. Doug is hoping that tomorrow after visiting, he will know better what to do about Max's placement. Either tomorrow or Saturday, they will pick Max up and spend the weekend together. On Monday, Nate would like to go out and meet the director and introduce himself to him/her so that if and when he goes to spend time with Max, he will be a known face.
There has been paperwork submitted to a high official in the President's office. One of our team members submitted it and thought he would hear something immediately from this official. There was no news today. At the least, the team thought that they would hear something on the 27th (which is the day Doug flies home) when the Presidents council meets. The paperwork submitted was a request to allow Max to travel home before August, be fore April, but now. For now, we continue to wait.
It was a frustrating day for Doug. Not because things were not accomplished, but because of the run-around, the indecisiveness, and lack of information that was easily understood by the team.
Doug could use, and I'm sure would appreciate your prayers. He is making big decisions about our boys and I am fully confident that he will make the ones that are best for our boys.
Cara
When entering the building, there was a long line, but Doug and Karen went to the front, got Elijah's picture taken and got everything sent out to be processed. We've been told that the passport will arrive on Monday.
Then on to Max's birth town, which is about 90 minutes outside the city. Now we have new birth certificates for both boys, and a passport in process for Elijah.
There has been a lot of discussion about Max and his possible move to another orphanage. We had first been told that we had the choice as Max's legal parents to move him to any orphanage in the country. We had talked with our friend Anya, who lives in another region, and we decided it would be best to sen him to an orphanage close to her so that he could be in contact with her until we could come back to get him. Then, we were told that he would need to stay in the same region he is in now. So after Doug and I talked last night, we decided to move him to an orphanage in his region that our friends Nate and Diana volunteer at. Well, we were told it was a "bad" orphanage (like dirty/old kinda bad), then we were told that Max couldn't go to a state run orphanage, but would need to go to a privately run orphanage or stay at the orphanage he is at now.
All this information for Doug to digest. First, we feel horrible that as Max's legal parents, we can't even do what is best for him in this situation because of the "bureaucracy", then to have all this information told to you through broken English. On top of all that, you feel so helpless, because your wife is in another country, 7 hours behind you time wise, and the decision you want to make together--if there is really a decision for us to make.
I talked to Doug at lunch time today as well as after school. I think he was overwhelmed and it was good to talk. This afternoon we talked for a long time and at one point he started to cry. No a good situation since I was driving in the rain on our way to therapy for the girls, trying not to cry too. Doug told me that new, and dear friends of ours in Ukraine offered to take Max in. Can you believe that? People, who we just met in September, offered to care for our son for six months. Doug was blown away and greatly humbled by this gesture. Because Nate and Diana minister to orphans around the country of Ukraine in the winter, it would not be possible for Max to live with them. Nate told Doug they "would help Max in any way they could". Doug told Nate that he would just like someone to be there for Max, to be a voice of reason, to be a "father" figure when he couldn't. Nate and Diana have been gracious enough to be Max's lifeline during his "limbo" time int he country, committing to drive to his orphanage, pick him up and take him to church. They are willing to touch base with him weekly, pray with him and for him, and help guide him in our absence.
Tomorrow- Friday, Doug, Karen, and the facilitator are going to check out one other option for an orphanage placement in the city of Kharkov. It is a privately run orphanage, so there might be a hefty cost involved. Doug is hoping that tomorrow after visiting, he will know better what to do about Max's placement. Either tomorrow or Saturday, they will pick Max up and spend the weekend together. On Monday, Nate would like to go out and meet the director and introduce himself to him/her so that if and when he goes to spend time with Max, he will be a known face.
There has been paperwork submitted to a high official in the President's office. One of our team members submitted it and thought he would hear something immediately from this official. There was no news today. At the least, the team thought that they would hear something on the 27th (which is the day Doug flies home) when the Presidents council meets. The paperwork submitted was a request to allow Max to travel home before August, be fore April, but now. For now, we continue to wait.
It was a frustrating day for Doug. Not because things were not accomplished, but because of the run-around, the indecisiveness, and lack of information that was easily understood by the team.
Doug could use, and I'm sure would appreciate your prayers. He is making big decisions about our boys and I am fully confident that he will make the ones that are best for our boys.
Cara
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Morning with Max
This morning started off early with a trip to the orphanage to see Max. We arrived at the orphanage and our driver helped us find him, since someone would have to speak Russian to get him today, because he was in school. So after about five minutes my skinny blond headed comes running down the stairs and give Grandmaand I a great big hug. It felt great to see him again.
We then proceeded to his groupa room so we could just sit and talk for a while. Grandma asked about all the puzzles hanging in his room that had been done over a period of time. Max went through each one and told her how long they took to put together and which parts he was in charge of. She told that he was really talented and must really like working puzzles. He just replied,"Yes, but not as much as Lego's". I took the hint....
He then took us down the hall and got a key from a caretaker to open another room for us to venture into. I thought it was going to be the craft room he has shown Cara and I on an earlier visit, but I was wrong. This room was the largest I have seen in the orphanage and is the room where they watch TV and work on puzzles. So we sat down and talked there for a while. As we were talking, it hit me. He doesn't know yet. He doesn't know that he's my son and I'm his father. We didn't have time after court to tell him the decision, and just assumed he would be told. I just assumed that the director would be notified and pass the word along. So I looked at him and asked him,"Do you know about the suit?" He looked at me with a puzzled look. So in my American way I said"The suit", which means court, but this time louder.(because it has nothing to do with a different language, you just talk like their deaf and they'll understand!!!!) He finally said "No". I looked at him and said "Well you are now Macksym Nicholas Layne". I thought he was going to cry. He just reached over and gave me the biggest hug. Its been twelve days since court, I couldn't believe he didn't know. I wonder how many times at night or when he had time to himself he wondered if he would still be an orphan, or if a judge had said yes, and he finally had a real family. A real mama, and real papa. I don't who I was more upset with, the team that helps us for not telling him, or myself. I know we were busy trying to get home to our girls in America, but all we had to was stop one day and send a simple email to make sure he knew. Looks like my first real job as his parent was a complete failure.
We left the orphanage and went back to the apartment to eat some lunch and wait on T. We were heading out to start the finalization process for Eli. This consisted of getting both boys court decrees, getting Eli's old birth certificate, then going to get his new one that has his new name- Eijah Konstantine Layne. Then once I signed my name to that we had to get a new tax i.d. number so we could apply for his new passport. Once we did that we had the documents legalized then notarized. It all amounted to a four hour ride in the back of a car, in which I signed my name three times, and really just waited a lot on T. Tomorrow early morning we have to get Eli out and take him to get his passport and visa photo. We have to have this done so it can be sent off by 11 am. Then we are heading to Max's hometown, which I'm told is an hour and a half away, to get his new birth certificate. We are then going to go spring him from his orphanage. I'm sure he will be excited. Although I don't know for how long, as we still don't know for sure where we are going to place him until he is able to leave the country. Please pray for this process. We are trying to get answers, but this is unheard of and is a rare case, and things are still being digested over what to do. All I know is he is not staying where he at now for the next 6 months and I have a plane to catch to take Eli home on the 27th. Hopefully we hear something soon.
On another note, if you are reading this and you have in one way or another supported us on this journey, I just want to take the time to say Thank You! Without people willing to give of their money and their time, this journey would not have been possible. More importantly than the giving of your time and money, it means more to us that you gave your love. That's truly what you gave. I use to really struggle with the question,"Do I really love God?" Did I truly love God, or did I just love what God could and would do for me. Was my love for Him a selfish love? I really struggled and prayed over this for a couple years trying to figure it out. If you have the same question, here is what God revealed to me. The bible tells us to first love the Lord your God. Okay, I say that aloud, but this is my struggle right. It then says to love your neighbor as yourself. Okay, easy, I love to help out those in need. It has always been one of my passions. Jesus also says,"Whatever you do to the least of these you do unto me." There it is. Let it sink in. When you help your neighbor. Love your neighbor. You are also loving God. Love isn't a noun. It's not a thing. Love is a verb. It's an action. And you my friend have not only loved Me and Cara, but you have truly made God shed a tear with your love for Him. (and me too)
I want to leave you with one last thought. In the book of Mark, chapter 10 verses 17-22. A young wealthy man comes up to Jesus and wants to join He and the disciples. I'm sure the disciples were probably happy happy this was a well to do man. They could really use a guy like this. He tells Jesus that he has done everything right, and he wants to follow him. So in verse 21. Jesus looked at him and loved him."One thing you lack," he said. "Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." I have struggled and pondered over this verse. It's a hard verse to read. This young man really wanted to devote his life to Jesus. He just couldn't get rid of all his stuff he had worked hard for. Truth is I'm not sure I could. Another struggle. But, the part I have always missed was the part I underlined. I just thought Jesus was harping on this guy because he didn't give to the poor. I'm not sure that was the case. It was out of love that he told this man this. Christ knew, that by selling everything this man had, sure, it might be a temporary set back for him, but his eternal reward would be so much greater.
So my last question for the night is this-- out of love, what is Christ asking you to do? Cara and I have have approached this on all of our adoptions--what is God asking us to do? This question can sometimes be a scary one--one that may put you out of your comfort zone, stretch your limits. Maybe for you its committing to teach Sunday school, or helping out in the nursery at church. Maybe, its volunteering at that place you have been talking about for a while, or maybe its selling everything you have and devoting your life to the mission field. Whatever it is, I think we all need to ask ourselves this question.
We then proceeded to his groupa room so we could just sit and talk for a while. Grandma asked about all the puzzles hanging in his room that had been done over a period of time. Max went through each one and told her how long they took to put together and which parts he was in charge of. She told that he was really talented and must really like working puzzles. He just replied,"Yes, but not as much as Lego's". I took the hint....
He then took us down the hall and got a key from a caretaker to open another room for us to venture into. I thought it was going to be the craft room he has shown Cara and I on an earlier visit, but I was wrong. This room was the largest I have seen in the orphanage and is the room where they watch TV and work on puzzles. So we sat down and talked there for a while. As we were talking, it hit me. He doesn't know yet. He doesn't know that he's my son and I'm his father. We didn't have time after court to tell him the decision, and just assumed he would be told. I just assumed that the director would be notified and pass the word along. So I looked at him and asked him,"Do you know about the suit?" He looked at me with a puzzled look. So in my American way I said"The suit", which means court, but this time louder.(because it has nothing to do with a different language, you just talk like their deaf and they'll understand!!!!) He finally said "No". I looked at him and said "Well you are now Macksym Nicholas Layne". I thought he was going to cry. He just reached over and gave me the biggest hug. Its been twelve days since court, I couldn't believe he didn't know. I wonder how many times at night or when he had time to himself he wondered if he would still be an orphan, or if a judge had said yes, and he finally had a real family. A real mama, and real papa. I don't who I was more upset with, the team that helps us for not telling him, or myself. I know we were busy trying to get home to our girls in America, but all we had to was stop one day and send a simple email to make sure he knew. Looks like my first real job as his parent was a complete failure.
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| Checking out the iPhone with Grandma. |
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| My boy and his sweet tarts! He loves those things! |
I want to leave you with one last thought. In the book of Mark, chapter 10 verses 17-22. A young wealthy man comes up to Jesus and wants to join He and the disciples. I'm sure the disciples were probably happy happy this was a well to do man. They could really use a guy like this. He tells Jesus that he has done everything right, and he wants to follow him. So in verse 21. Jesus looked at him and loved him."One thing you lack," he said. "Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." I have struggled and pondered over this verse. It's a hard verse to read. This young man really wanted to devote his life to Jesus. He just couldn't get rid of all his stuff he had worked hard for. Truth is I'm not sure I could. Another struggle. But, the part I have always missed was the part I underlined. I just thought Jesus was harping on this guy because he didn't give to the poor. I'm not sure that was the case. It was out of love that he told this man this. Christ knew, that by selling everything this man had, sure, it might be a temporary set back for him, but his eternal reward would be so much greater.
So my last question for the night is this-- out of love, what is Christ asking you to do? Cara and I have have approached this on all of our adoptions--what is God asking us to do? This question can sometimes be a scary one--one that may put you out of your comfort zone, stretch your limits. Maybe for you its committing to teach Sunday school, or helping out in the nursery at church. Maybe, its volunteering at that place you have been talking about for a while, or maybe its selling everything you have and devoting your life to the mission field. Whatever it is, I think we all need to ask ourselves this question.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
We finally made it!!!!
Okay, bear with me on this. I'm a newbie to this blog stuff. This is a job I have no problem letting my lovely wife, Cara, do. But since I'm (Doug) the one in Ukraine you're stuck with me for a few days. There you have been warned.... (But Cara added a few tidbits in italics parenthesis!)
It was a long day Sunday/Monday. I don't know where Sunday ended and Monday began, but I think it was somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean. All I know is when we landed in Kiev, made through passport control and customs, we where ready to relax, but first we needed train tickets. Traffic was horrible, one of the worst I've ever seen, but Nikko did a great job fighting his way through it. After we got our tickets to Kharkov, we finally arrived at our apartment. Once showered and cleaned and a couple of phone calls it was time for bed. The alarm would be going off early as our ride to the train station would be at our apartment at 5:30 am.
Nikko showed up on time, as usual, and we made it to the train station early. (They took the early express train to Kahrkov, takes 6 hours to get there) The train ride was uneventful, and well, just a typical train ride. We arrived and were greeted by Edward who took us to our apartment. Oh, yeah I forgot to mention that it started snowing, and then turned to rain. Not a nice day out at all. We got to the apartment we settled in and ate a quick lunch. We then headed back out the door, to go see Eli. The moment this Papa was waiting for. The weather was just a little bit of rain and a little bit of snow mix when we left. After leaving, and having the discussion that an umbrella really wasn't needed for this amount precipitation, our hoods and hats would be enough, it started to poor down rain. Cold, cold rain. Lets just say we regretted the conversation of not taking our umbrella's. We arrived at the orphanage water logged and cold and proceeded up to Eli's room. I asked to see him and received a look like I had three heads. I politely asked again and the lady told me she would get the doctor. Great, I tell myself, I just trudged all the way over here in the pouring rain so I could see my son, and now their going to tell me he is sick, or back at the hospital for observation, or who know what. Suffice to say, my mind was going 100 miles per hour and temper wasn't far behind. Finally after about ten minutes the doctor came up and asked us to follow her. She took us to the same room where Cara and I had last seen him 10 days ago, the quarantined room.
Eli just wasn't himself today. I don't know if it is from being by himself in a small room for 10 days with no one else around or what, but he was just a little down. The only thing he wanted was his pacifier, and that was it. I couldn't get him to laugh when I tickled him, make funny faces at him, or anything that usually works to make him smile. (He missed his Mama....where was she anyways??) Kind of hurt my heart to see him that way. He was also real raspy still in the chest. That really worried me too. So after a couple pictures and a visit of about and hour we put him back in his crib, handed him his toy, which looked like he had lost, and were about to leave, when suddenly he sprang to life. He started dancing and cooing, like the Eli I had seen a couple weeks ago. I guess he just needed the right toy, or for His Papa to get ready to leave!!!!
We trudged back through the rain and made to the apartment. We settled in, dried off and warmed up as much as possible. Soon after that Nate called to see when he could come pick up the package his brother had sent him through me. So about 5:30 he arrived here and we talked for a bit before we decided to go out for some supper. Pizza Bella won out as the place for our dinner so that's where we headed to. Dinner was great, and after that we headed to the Rost for some grocery shopping.
Tomorrow we start the finalization of Eli's adoption. The final push...Its been been a long, hard, time consuming, and very expensive road. The stakes are high and the cost is great. This is the reality of any adoption. This is our family's way of showing and sharing the gospel. It has helped me to better understand a fathers love. It has shown me just how much God loves each and everyone of us. It shows me just how far he was willing to go to adopt us, to make us His own. It has shown me His heart.... As I was sitting there today, waiting at the orphanage for the doctor to come back, with in my own mind bad news. All I could think about was the grueling, 10 hour flight over, the four hours of sleep the night before, and the 6 hour train ride. Then 45 minutes of trudging though the flooded streets, in the cold and rain. I JUST WANTED TO HOLD MY SON. That's all I wanted to do. The worst case scenarios came into my mind, as I thought of my troubles just to get here and then to be denied the one thing that kept me going. Then I thought about God, and what he endured to watch his own Son bear the wrath stored up that was meant for you and me. All so we could be adopted. All so we could be His. Oh, how his heart must have ached. There is one thing you don't want to mess with in this life, and that is a Fathers heart. For we will do anything to get to our children. There is no journey to hard, nor cost to great.
The girls and I are marking off each day on the calendar until Papa, Grandma, and Elijah come home. Mila asks "Papa be home today?" and Hannah reminds her not until the day with the pink writing! We are preparing for a little man in the house, talking about what toys we need to put away as soon as we are finished with them (crayons?!) that a little brother could get into. We'll be ready!
It was a long day Sunday/Monday. I don't know where Sunday ended and Monday began, but I think it was somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean. All I know is when we landed in Kiev, made through passport control and customs, we where ready to relax, but first we needed train tickets. Traffic was horrible, one of the worst I've ever seen, but Nikko did a great job fighting his way through it. After we got our tickets to Kharkov, we finally arrived at our apartment. Once showered and cleaned and a couple of phone calls it was time for bed. The alarm would be going off early as our ride to the train station would be at our apartment at 5:30 am.
Nikko showed up on time, as usual, and we made it to the train station early. (They took the early express train to Kahrkov, takes 6 hours to get there) The train ride was uneventful, and well, just a typical train ride. We arrived and were greeted by Edward who took us to our apartment. Oh, yeah I forgot to mention that it started snowing, and then turned to rain. Not a nice day out at all. We got to the apartment we settled in and ate a quick lunch. We then headed back out the door, to go see Eli. The moment this Papa was waiting for. The weather was just a little bit of rain and a little bit of snow mix when we left. After leaving, and having the discussion that an umbrella really wasn't needed for this amount precipitation, our hoods and hats would be enough, it started to poor down rain. Cold, cold rain. Lets just say we regretted the conversation of not taking our umbrella's. We arrived at the orphanage water logged and cold and proceeded up to Eli's room. I asked to see him and received a look like I had three heads. I politely asked again and the lady told me she would get the doctor. Great, I tell myself, I just trudged all the way over here in the pouring rain so I could see my son, and now their going to tell me he is sick, or back at the hospital for observation, or who know what. Suffice to say, my mind was going 100 miles per hour and temper wasn't far behind. Finally after about ten minutes the doctor came up and asked us to follow her. She took us to the same room where Cara and I had last seen him 10 days ago, the quarantined room.
Eli just wasn't himself today. I don't know if it is from being by himself in a small room for 10 days with no one else around or what, but he was just a little down. The only thing he wanted was his pacifier, and that was it. I couldn't get him to laugh when I tickled him, make funny faces at him, or anything that usually works to make him smile. (He missed his Mama....where was she anyways??) Kind of hurt my heart to see him that way. He was also real raspy still in the chest. That really worried me too. So after a couple pictures and a visit of about and hour we put him back in his crib, handed him his toy, which looked like he had lost, and were about to leave, when suddenly he sprang to life. He started dancing and cooing, like the Eli I had seen a couple weeks ago. I guess he just needed the right toy, or for His Papa to get ready to leave!!!!
We trudged back through the rain and made to the apartment. We settled in, dried off and warmed up as much as possible. Soon after that Nate called to see when he could come pick up the package his brother had sent him through me. So about 5:30 he arrived here and we talked for a bit before we decided to go out for some supper. Pizza Bella won out as the place for our dinner so that's where we headed to. Dinner was great, and after that we headed to the Rost for some grocery shopping.
The girls and I are marking off each day on the calendar until Papa, Grandma, and Elijah come home. Mila asks "Papa be home today?" and Hannah reminds her not until the day with the pink writing! We are preparing for a little man in the house, talking about what toys we need to put away as soon as we are finished with them (crayons?!) that a little brother could get into. We'll be ready!
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Ukraine or bust- part 2
Doug and Karen are headed to Ukraine. Right about now they are over the Atlantic Ocean on their way to Munich, then on to Kiev. It's Karen's first in Ukraine. First time out of the country. First time to fly! Nothing like a 10+ hour, three leg flight to be your first! (Doug's first time flying was in 2006 when we went to Ukraine for a mission trip.) While Doug and Karen are in Ukraine, Doug promised to blog, if I would help with the layout of pictures. So together, the blog of the journey to bring the boys home will continue!
The *plan* is to head to the boy's region on the express train Tuesday morning. They would arrive in the region around noon on Tuesday. This will allow Doug and Karen some time to get settled in the apartment before a long day of paperwork, applying for passports, and working on changing the boys birth certificates to their new names on Wednesday and Thursday. There is a possible trip to another region to take Max to his new orphanage until he can come home over the weekend. By next Monday, Elijah's passport *should* arrive. They would head back to the capital city overnight Monday, and be able to complete medicals, and embassy appointments #1 and #2 and fly home on Thursday the 22. At least as of right now, that is the *plan*.
Our team has been talking to some big time officials in the country, pleading Max's case. There is a small chance that Max might be able to come home with Doug and Karen. We should know within 10 days if a higher-up official (as in one that works in the President's office) will allow Max to come home now, rather than later. We're saying our prayers that these officials will agree that the best place for Max to be is at home, with a family that loves him and will guide him to make good decisions and instill good moral values.
Knowing that Max coming home now was an option, great friends have rallied around us to help. Amy is donating her proceeds from a Lia Sophia party towards our adoption costs. Megan and Erin had a 31 party today, and the 31 consultant; Sonia, asked if she could donate her proceeds towards our adoption. Other friends and family members have donated to our Reece's Rainbow account again. A dear friend offered to help us financially. We wouldn't be able to have the option financially to bring Max home now without these great friends. We are truly grateful and humbled by the generosity of others to make our family a reality.
The *plan* is to head to the boy's region on the express train Tuesday morning. They would arrive in the region around noon on Tuesday. This will allow Doug and Karen some time to get settled in the apartment before a long day of paperwork, applying for passports, and working on changing the boys birth certificates to their new names on Wednesday and Thursday. There is a possible trip to another region to take Max to his new orphanage until he can come home over the weekend. By next Monday, Elijah's passport *should* arrive. They would head back to the capital city overnight Monday, and be able to complete medicals, and embassy appointments #1 and #2 and fly home on Thursday the 22. At least as of right now, that is the *plan*.
Our team has been talking to some big time officials in the country, pleading Max's case. There is a small chance that Max might be able to come home with Doug and Karen. We should know within 10 days if a higher-up official (as in one that works in the President's office) will allow Max to come home now, rather than later. We're saying our prayers that these officials will agree that the best place for Max to be is at home, with a family that loves him and will guide him to make good decisions and instill good moral values.
Knowing that Max coming home now was an option, great friends have rallied around us to help. Amy is donating her proceeds from a Lia Sophia party towards our adoption costs. Megan and Erin had a 31 party today, and the 31 consultant; Sonia, asked if she could donate her proceeds towards our adoption. Other friends and family members have donated to our Reece's Rainbow account again. A dear friend offered to help us financially. We wouldn't be able to have the option financially to bring Max home now without these great friends. We are truly grateful and humbled by the generosity of others to make our family a reality.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Last visit
Today was our last visit with Max. When we arrived we asked a couple kids and they told us Max was in the cafeteria. We walked into the building and found our son at a table by himself, finishing his soup. He immediately jumped up and gave both of us big hugs. Doug told him to finish his soup and we would wait for him outside.
Today, the weather was around 70 degrees, so we sat outside on a bench outside and waited. Max came bounding out, and again gave us big hugs. He tends to lean into mean and put his head against me much like you expect a young boy to do.
Doug and I explained that tomorrow we will have court and then head for home. We had to explain him that although tomorrow a judge would deem us his parents, he would need to stay in Ukraine for a while longer. We could tell that he was visibly upset, but my young man has seen enough pain in his life, he has learned to take it in stride and internalize the pain. It is so hard to watch. He was more worried about Mama crying and being upset. We reminded him how much we love him.
Doug talked to Max about the option of moving to a new place until April. We talked with him about moving to a different region where he could be closer to our friend Anya. He said "a different place is better. This place is no good. That boy (pointing) he wants me to skip school with him today. I told him no". I think he understands that the temptations are too great where he is now and that moving would be a good thing.
We played several rounds of Uno, one which lasted a REALLY long time, laughed, and had a good time. Soon enough it was time to leave. And Mama started crying. Leaving my boy behind....again. I pray that Max knows how much we love him and how important he is to us. We will come back for him, to bring him home-forever.
Tomorrow will be a whirl-wind of activity. We have court at 9:20am. Our facilitator is picking us up at 8:30. After court we plan to go see Elijah. At 4:30pm our train leaves for the capital city. We will arrive in Kiev at 10:30pm. Friday morning our flight leaves Kiev at 6:30am--headed for home.
Though this trip has been long, I can truthfully say there are many things I love about this country. There are many people I treasure that call Ukraine home.
Today, the weather was around 70 degrees, so we sat outside on a bench outside and waited. Max came bounding out, and again gave us big hugs. He tends to lean into mean and put his head against me much like you expect a young boy to do.
Doug and I explained that tomorrow we will have court and then head for home. We had to explain him that although tomorrow a judge would deem us his parents, he would need to stay in Ukraine for a while longer. We could tell that he was visibly upset, but my young man has seen enough pain in his life, he has learned to take it in stride and internalize the pain. It is so hard to watch. He was more worried about Mama crying and being upset. We reminded him how much we love him.
We played several rounds of Uno, one which lasted a REALLY long time, laughed, and had a good time. Soon enough it was time to leave. And Mama started crying. Leaving my boy behind....again. I pray that Max knows how much we love him and how important he is to us. We will come back for him, to bring him home-forever.
Tomorrow will be a whirl-wind of activity. We have court at 9:20am. Our facilitator is picking us up at 8:30. After court we plan to go see Elijah. At 4:30pm our train leaves for the capital city. We will arrive in Kiev at 10:30pm. Friday morning our flight leaves Kiev at 6:30am--headed for home.
Though this trip has been long, I can truthfully say there are many things I love about this country. There are many people I treasure that call Ukraine home.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Not a post I wanted to write
Today is a day that I want to hide under a rock. A day I want to rewind and hope when it plays over again, it will have a different outcome. Today is a day that changes things. A day that effects everyone in our family. Today is a day we have both shed tears.
Today, a lady who works at the Foundation for the Rights of Orphans came to our region to meet with the court in Max's hometown. Over the summer Max was caught stealing. He and a peer left the orphanage and took a bus to another small town nearby. When the boys arrived in the small town, they were hungry, so stole a piece of metal pipe, sold it, so that they could buy food. Max and his peer were caught, and because of this, he and a peer are on a year of probation. This does not mean that we cannot adopt him, but that he cannot leave the country during his year of probation. A letter of amnesty was written by the orphanage director, (which would clear his record because he is a minor and an orphan and allow him to leave the country) but we learned today that amnesty cannot be granted until 6 months after the conviction. Six months would be January. After the six months, he can then be re-registered with a clean record and will be ready to leave the country in April.
Our hearts are heavy tonight. We know that our son has a good heart. I think in his mind, he did what he thought he had to do in order to survive. Thankfully, none of us have ever been in this situation. None of us have ever had to deal with what our boy has had to endure. We have never lived in a place where there was no mention of God. We have never lived in a place where we weren't accountable to anyone. We haven't ever lived in a place where no one cared about us. We haven't ever lived in a place where there wasn't a moral code instilled in us. Our boy has endured more physical pain and mental anguish from many years of being in a broken home or a home where the entire floor of the orphanage share one "Mama". He needs to be reminded that he is capable of good--and reminded that we have witnessed and continue to see the good in him. Just because he made a mistake does not mean that he is not worthy of love from a Mother and Father. I thank God today especially as I have a visual reminder, and every day that God does not turn away from me and say that I am not worthy of love because of the mistakes I have made.
These next six months will be painstakingly hard for us. We will have to leave our son behind and yet remind him that we have not forgotten him and we are coming back for him. We have to make a decision of where the most positive environment for him will be during those six months. We will have to celebrate Christmas and his birthday with him in a different country that us.
This adoption journey is not the one we planned. This was not the outcome we wanted. I'm almost sure that this is not the outcome Max wanted. We ask for your continued prayers as we attempt to parent a child from countries away and lift him up in a way that he is reminded that he has a good heart and is capable of great things. We are resting in the peace that although this is not the great outcome we had hoped for, it is the one that God has perfectly planned for us.
Today, a lady who works at the Foundation for the Rights of Orphans came to our region to meet with the court in Max's hometown. Over the summer Max was caught stealing. He and a peer left the orphanage and took a bus to another small town nearby. When the boys arrived in the small town, they were hungry, so stole a piece of metal pipe, sold it, so that they could buy food. Max and his peer were caught, and because of this, he and a peer are on a year of probation. This does not mean that we cannot adopt him, but that he cannot leave the country during his year of probation. A letter of amnesty was written by the orphanage director, (which would clear his record because he is a minor and an orphan and allow him to leave the country) but we learned today that amnesty cannot be granted until 6 months after the conviction. Six months would be January. After the six months, he can then be re-registered with a clean record and will be ready to leave the country in April.
Our hearts are heavy tonight. We know that our son has a good heart. I think in his mind, he did what he thought he had to do in order to survive. Thankfully, none of us have ever been in this situation. None of us have ever had to deal with what our boy has had to endure. We have never lived in a place where there was no mention of God. We have never lived in a place where we weren't accountable to anyone. We haven't ever lived in a place where no one cared about us. We haven't ever lived in a place where there wasn't a moral code instilled in us. Our boy has endured more physical pain and mental anguish from many years of being in a broken home or a home where the entire floor of the orphanage share one "Mama". He needs to be reminded that he is capable of good--and reminded that we have witnessed and continue to see the good in him. Just because he made a mistake does not mean that he is not worthy of love from a Mother and Father. I thank God today especially as I have a visual reminder, and every day that God does not turn away from me and say that I am not worthy of love because of the mistakes I have made.
These next six months will be painstakingly hard for us. We will have to leave our son behind and yet remind him that we have not forgotten him and we are coming back for him. We have to make a decision of where the most positive environment for him will be during those six months. We will have to celebrate Christmas and his birthday with him in a different country that us.
This adoption journey is not the one we planned. This was not the outcome we wanted. I'm almost sure that this is not the outcome Max wanted. We ask for your continued prayers as we attempt to parent a child from countries away and lift him up in a way that he is reminded that he has a good heart and is capable of great things. We are resting in the peace that although this is not the great outcome we had hoped for, it is the one that God has perfectly planned for us.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Think Positive
We have been away from home long enough that it is getting hard to find the positive in each day. But yet, we strive to make each day the best day it can be and praise God for the positives, rather than dwelling on the negatives.
So here are my Positives:
1. Waterproof shoes.
Where would one be on a rainy day in a town that has endless potholes in the streets/sidewalks without waterproof shoes? These we a good investment!
(Side note, they are not waterproof if the water splashes up into your shoe...but since we are focusing on the positive, I won't mention that!)
2. Milka Chocolate
My all time favorite! It is super creamy and will get me through any day or sorrow!
3. My raincoat
Thanks to great friends like Stephanie and Thatcher who love me so much that they didn't want me to be wet! Guess what y'all? I was totally dry today!
4. Umbrellas
We saw many people out and about today hustling and bustling here and there with no umbrella. I giggled today b/c we brought travel umbrellas--not so fitting for a big guy like Doug. He takes it all in stride and makes me laugh by saying "Yeah great, fat boy and a little umbrella...great!"
5. Wifi and Internet
Thanks to Nate for loaning us the router, so Doug isn't hollering at me all the time for hogging the computer. He can happily access the internet from his phone! I can at least talk to my sweet girls each day when I can't be there with them
6. My amazing husband!
(With a new haircut I might add!) He has the burning passion for orphans and children with special needs. He is the one who encourages me, lets me cry when I need to, and kicks me back into gear when I need to be strong. We have been together for the last 35 days....and he still loves me! :)
7. My soon to be sons
These boys are the reason we have traveled half way across the earth. Each boy has his own unique personality. Each boy has their own differences. Each boy will face many hardships, but with the love of a family, we hope to love our way through those difficult times and rejoice with all the good times!
So, thought today was a gloomy, rainy day, we chose to be thankful for the positives in today and everyday!
So here are my Positives:
1. Waterproof shoes.
Where would one be on a rainy day in a town that has endless potholes in the streets/sidewalks without waterproof shoes? These we a good investment!
(Side note, they are not waterproof if the water splashes up into your shoe...but since we are focusing on the positive, I won't mention that!)
2. Milka Chocolate
3. My raincoat
4. Umbrellas
5. Wifi and Internet
6. My amazing husband!
7. My soon to be sons
So, thought today was a gloomy, rainy day, we chose to be thankful for the positives in today and everyday!
Saturday, October 1, 2011
To My Girls
Hannah & Mila,
Oh how I miss you! I miss your giggles, your kisses, your hugs, hearing about your day at school, and hearing about something that happened in your day multiple times in an hour!!!
I see little things each day that reminds me of you and Papa and I smile when we see them. Ever though you are not here in Ukraine with us, we see little glimpses that remind us of you each day!
Hannah- there is a great little playground across the street from our new apartment. It has all kinds of slides and climbing space. You could have a blast playing on it!
Mila- I think I spotted a wheel on it. You could stand forever, giving Mama orders and playing "Jake and the Neverland Pirates"! How fun!
Hannah- there are lots of stores that have little carts...you would love grocery shopping here!
Mila- I saw a huge selection of olives today at the store! You would be a happy girl here in Ukraine, putting olives on your fingers before eating them!
Hannah- check out the loaf of bread we bought at the store today! There is an entire section of fresh baked bread. You would love the smell of it...it smells delicious!
Girls- These cookie/wafer things are YUMMY! I plan to bring some home so we can share them. :)
Mila- they have Oreos in Ukraine! :)
Mila- I saw a girl on the Metro the other day with Peppa Pig pants on. If I had known Russian, I would have been tempted to try to buy her pants from her....but then the little girl would be naked...That wouldn't be good!
Hannah- I downloaded the new Lady Antebellum CD. I can't wait to get home and sing the songs together and watch you dance!
Girls- your little brother is starting to crawl. Hannah, that means I will need help. We'll have to watch and make sure he doesn't put little things in his mouth...he loves to put stuff in his mouth. Mila, that means that your toys are in jeopardy. Guess we'll have to help Eli learn to share! Maybe he can convince you to make some independent movement! :)
We love you so much. I miss you so very much! I can't wait to be home together, reading you bedtime stories and saying prayers with you. We have lots to do to get ready for your brothers to come home. I'll need help, and I know you both will be excellent helpers! Be good, say your prayers, and remember that Mama and Papa love you very much!
Oh how I miss you! I miss your giggles, your kisses, your hugs, hearing about your day at school, and hearing about something that happened in your day multiple times in an hour!!!
I see little things each day that reminds me of you and Papa and I smile when we see them. Ever though you are not here in Ukraine with us, we see little glimpses that remind us of you each day!
Hannah- there is a great little playground across the street from our new apartment. It has all kinds of slides and climbing space. You could have a blast playing on it!
Mila- I think I spotted a wheel on it. You could stand forever, giving Mama orders and playing "Jake and the Neverland Pirates"! How fun!
Hannah- there are lots of stores that have little carts...you would love grocery shopping here!
Mila- I saw a huge selection of olives today at the store! You would be a happy girl here in Ukraine, putting olives on your fingers before eating them!
Hannah- check out the loaf of bread we bought at the store today! There is an entire section of fresh baked bread. You would love the smell of it...it smells delicious!
Girls- These cookie/wafer things are YUMMY! I plan to bring some home so we can share them. :)
Mila- they have Oreos in Ukraine! :)
Mila- I saw a girl on the Metro the other day with Peppa Pig pants on. If I had known Russian, I would have been tempted to try to buy her pants from her....but then the little girl would be naked...That wouldn't be good!
Hannah- I downloaded the new Lady Antebellum CD. I can't wait to get home and sing the songs together and watch you dance!
Girls- your little brother is starting to crawl. Hannah, that means I will need help. We'll have to watch and make sure he doesn't put little things in his mouth...he loves to put stuff in his mouth. Mila, that means that your toys are in jeopardy. Guess we'll have to help Eli learn to share! Maybe he can convince you to make some independent movement! :)
We love you so much. I miss you so very much! I can't wait to be home together, reading you bedtime stories and saying prayers with you. We have lots to do to get ready for your brothers to come home. I'll need help, and I know you both will be excellent helpers! Be good, say your prayers, and remember that Mama and Papa love you very much!
Friday, September 30, 2011
32 days & a new apartment!
We have been in the country for 32 days so far. Right now, that is about two weeks longer than we thought our first trip would last, by the time we get home, we will have been in country 3 weeks longer than we anticipated for our first trip. All this time, waiting to have court.
I am ready to be home with the girls and start preparing things for the boys to be home.
When we visited the baby house on Tuesday, the doctor had told us that our little man would be back on Thursday and we could visit on Friday. Well, today is Friday, and when our facilitator called the baby house and talked to the doctor, the doctor said she would need to call the hospital and check on him. Gracious. I just can't understand how a routine observation takes 5 days. Makes this Mama's heart worry that there is something they aren't telling us. If so, so be it. I'm still taking my little boy home. We'll deal with whatever may come. I just want to hold my little man. Give him the snuggles that I've been missing for the last 6 days. I want him to feel comfortable and secure enough to fall asleep in my arms.
Word now is that our little guy caught a cold on Tuesday and they have been unable to do the tests they need to do at the hospital because of his cold. He is suppose to be back at the orphanage on Tuesday. There is a real chance that this Mama will not get to see her little man, to kiss his soft cheeks until he reaches American soil with his Papa and Grandma. Please keep my little man in your thoughts and prayers. Pray that he gets over his cold quickly, that his tests are performed, and he returns to the Baby House soon....possibly soon enough that his Mama and Papa can hold him, tell him how much he is loved, and that we will be back to get him, to take him home for good!
Today we moved apartments. Seems even though the lady renting our apartment to us offered Internet, now she wants to charge us more a day for the apartment for Internet use. We have paid $60/night for our entire 32 day stay-- $1920 in apartment fees. This afternoon, our facilitator and her husband helped us move into the apartment Laurie and Bryan had been staying in. This landlord agreed to let us stay for $50/night. We hope we are only here 5 more nights. Then, once in Kiev we will have a night's stay so that we can stop at the US Embassy before going home.
On Monday, a lady is coming from Kiev to help out with Max's amnesty. Our facilitator was willing to do this for us, but the SDA mandated that another attorney is better suited to deal with his amnesty. We want nothing more than to bring our boy home, so we are willing to do what is asked. This means we will need to pay for the lady's train tickets to and from the region, her cab fare, and the fee that is included with Max's case.
Today, we did a lot of waiting. I cried. (I'm at that point of this journey. I miss the girls horribly, and since we are running low on funds, we haven't seen Max a second time this week. I'm lost without my kids). We added up what we need to finish our second journey. It is pretty much equal to what an extra three weeks have cost us. I am thankful for a dear friend who is going to have a Lia Sophia jewelry party to benefit our adoption. Every little bit helps.
We thank each and every one of you for your prayers as we make our way through this great journey. Though the road has been long and horribly bumpy with many pot holes, I have no doubt that God has his hand on us, leading us through this!
I am ready to be home with the girls and start preparing things for the boys to be home.
When we visited the baby house on Tuesday, the doctor had told us that our little man would be back on Thursday and we could visit on Friday. Well, today is Friday, and when our facilitator called the baby house and talked to the doctor, the doctor said she would need to call the hospital and check on him. Gracious. I just can't understand how a routine observation takes 5 days. Makes this Mama's heart worry that there is something they aren't telling us. If so, so be it. I'm still taking my little boy home. We'll deal with whatever may come. I just want to hold my little man. Give him the snuggles that I've been missing for the last 6 days. I want him to feel comfortable and secure enough to fall asleep in my arms.
Word now is that our little guy caught a cold on Tuesday and they have been unable to do the tests they need to do at the hospital because of his cold. He is suppose to be back at the orphanage on Tuesday. There is a real chance that this Mama will not get to see her little man, to kiss his soft cheeks until he reaches American soil with his Papa and Grandma. Please keep my little man in your thoughts and prayers. Pray that he gets over his cold quickly, that his tests are performed, and he returns to the Baby House soon....possibly soon enough that his Mama and Papa can hold him, tell him how much he is loved, and that we will be back to get him, to take him home for good!
Today we moved apartments. Seems even though the lady renting our apartment to us offered Internet, now she wants to charge us more a day for the apartment for Internet use. We have paid $60/night for our entire 32 day stay-- $1920 in apartment fees. This afternoon, our facilitator and her husband helped us move into the apartment Laurie and Bryan had been staying in. This landlord agreed to let us stay for $50/night. We hope we are only here 5 more nights. Then, once in Kiev we will have a night's stay so that we can stop at the US Embassy before going home.
On Monday, a lady is coming from Kiev to help out with Max's amnesty. Our facilitator was willing to do this for us, but the SDA mandated that another attorney is better suited to deal with his amnesty. We want nothing more than to bring our boy home, so we are willing to do what is asked. This means we will need to pay for the lady's train tickets to and from the region, her cab fare, and the fee that is included with Max's case.
Today, we did a lot of waiting. I cried. (I'm at that point of this journey. I miss the girls horribly, and since we are running low on funds, we haven't seen Max a second time this week. I'm lost without my kids). We added up what we need to finish our second journey. It is pretty much equal to what an extra three weeks have cost us. I am thankful for a dear friend who is going to have a Lia Sophia jewelry party to benefit our adoption. Every little bit helps.
We thank each and every one of you for your prayers as we make our way through this great journey. Though the road has been long and horribly bumpy with many pot holes, I have no doubt that God has his hand on us, leading us through this!
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Pizza with friends
It was a damp day here and we had no visits to make. We typically do not see Max on Wednesday, and Eli is still at the hospital for observation. We slept in, then did two loads of bath tub laundry. We had lunch, watched a movie together, and then took the Metro to have pizza with friends.
We have been blessed that Laurie and Bryan Maddex have made lots of friends and connections here in the city. They introduced us to a great church family. Nate, the assistant pastor is originally from Ohio, and his wife Diana, is a teacher in a Christian school here in the city. Tonight we went to Nate & Diana's home to have pizza. What a great treat, homemade pizza! It was delicious. And to share pizza and fellowship with friends. It was a bittersweet night. One last horrah for Laurie and Bryan as they are headed to the big city tomorrow evening to finish the last details of their adoption. We have truly enjoyed our time together here in the city and feel blessed to have had the time to get to know them. Their new son is precious. (and loves sweets!) Go safely Maddex family! Can't wait to talk to you again when we are both stateside!
As we were walking home I started to think about our time here and how learning the Metro has helped us significantly. We would feel very "stuck" not having the Metro to go places. I found some info on the Metro on Wikipedia.
Our "home" stop, (closest to our apartment) is on the green line. It's name is Nauchnaya/Naukova. This is also the stop you would go to to get to Calvary Chapel Church. (We are close enough, we walk to church.) When we go to see Eli, we get on at our stop (the green line) and ride south 4 stops, where the green line ends. We then have to get out of our train, go up an escalator, down a long hall, and up/down steps to transfer to the red line. We then get on the Red line and ride 4 stops to the Sovetskoi Armii stop. This stop is easy to recognize because of the gold plated stars on the wall of the metro stop. From this stop, we walk about two blocks to get to Eli's orphanage. There is a great grocery at the Zavod im. Malsheva stop on the red line. We found the best selection at this store--and awesome fresh bread!
The other apartment that people typically stay in when in the city is at the Prospekt Gagarina, which is on the red line, between the blue and green transfer stops.
We have only gone round and round once. We are by no means experts, but I don't think I want to stay long enough to be experts! We are right down the street (within 20 minute walking distance) from Kharkov's freedom square.
There is a large park right next to the square and on the back side of the park is the Zoo and the Dolphinarium.
At this point, I feel pretty confident in my surroundings. With that being said, I think it's time to head home--maybe I know the lay of the land a little too well. Maybe it means I've been here too long!
No news about a specific court date yet. We know that we will have a meeting with someone from the capital city here in our city on Monday at 1:00pm. We ask for prayers that this meeting goes well, that the official has compassion on our situation and completes her work within the day.
We have been blessed that Laurie and Bryan Maddex have made lots of friends and connections here in the city. They introduced us to a great church family. Nate, the assistant pastor is originally from Ohio, and his wife Diana, is a teacher in a Christian school here in the city. Tonight we went to Nate & Diana's home to have pizza. What a great treat, homemade pizza! It was delicious. And to share pizza and fellowship with friends. It was a bittersweet night. One last horrah for Laurie and Bryan as they are headed to the big city tomorrow evening to finish the last details of their adoption. We have truly enjoyed our time together here in the city and feel blessed to have had the time to get to know them. Their new son is precious. (and loves sweets!) Go safely Maddex family! Can't wait to talk to you again when we are both stateside!
As we were walking home I started to think about our time here and how learning the Metro has helped us significantly. We would feel very "stuck" not having the Metro to go places. I found some info on the Metro on Wikipedia.
Our "home" stop, (closest to our apartment) is on the green line. It's name is Nauchnaya/Naukova. This is also the stop you would go to to get to Calvary Chapel Church. (We are close enough, we walk to church.) When we go to see Eli, we get on at our stop (the green line) and ride south 4 stops, where the green line ends. We then have to get out of our train, go up an escalator, down a long hall, and up/down steps to transfer to the red line. We then get on the Red line and ride 4 stops to the Sovetskoi Armii stop. This stop is easy to recognize because of the gold plated stars on the wall of the metro stop. From this stop, we walk about two blocks to get to Eli's orphanage. There is a great grocery at the Zavod im. Malsheva stop on the red line. We found the best selection at this store--and awesome fresh bread!
, The other apartment that people typically stay in when in the city is at the Prospekt Gagarina, which is on the red line, between the blue and green transfer stops.
We have only gone round and round once. We are by no means experts, but I don't think I want to stay long enough to be experts! We are right down the street (within 20 minute walking distance) from Kharkov's freedom square.
There is a large park right next to the square and on the back side of the park is the Zoo and the Dolphinarium.
At this point, I feel pretty confident in my surroundings. With that being said, I think it's time to head home--maybe I know the lay of the land a little too well. Maybe it means I've been here too long!
No news about a specific court date yet. We know that we will have a meeting with someone from the capital city here in our city on Monday at 1:00pm. We ask for prayers that this meeting goes well, that the official has compassion on our situation and completes her work within the day.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Choosing to see
Two visits in one day. One much longer than the other...more about that later!
Our little man only lasted 35 minutes this morning before becoming fussy (a quiet fussy. It's sad that he has learned in 15 months it doesn't do him any good to cry loudly or fuss, he doesn't get special attention for it in a group with few nannies), and then a few minutes of Mama rocking him, he was out cold. (In his defense, he typically naps between 10-12, but the caretakers are wonderful to let us come when we like.) I was happy just to rock him and watch him sleep. It also gave the two of us (Doug and I) time to discuss our afternoon visit. After an hour, we took little Mister back up to his groupa room, as the nanny that gave him to us today promptly put up 1 finger telling us we had 1 hour to visit.
We had planned to leave to visit Max at 2:00pm like normal, but a call from T our facilitator to tell us she had to go to the local administration and they would be here to pick us up at 1:35pm. We arrived home shortly before 6:00pm.
On our way out of the big city, we stopped at an official building (you know one of those with the blue metal plaque next to the door) and waited as T talked to someone outside the building. Then, on out to the town where Max lives, and stopped at the ministry building in town. Again, we waited outside while T went in. Then on to the orphanage. I think I was nervous, but the car ride almost got the best of me today...I felt gross! We waited for the kids to get out of class on our normal bench outside the school. I saw Max come out the door, then bound towards us. As soon as he was close, he knew something was up. We took a walk around the side of the building. Doug asked him if there was something that he wanted to tell us about that had happened in the summer. Then, as he said to me tonight, "I had this whole speech planned out, and you just took over....and I was like 'Wow, okay, she's got this handled!"
Max understands that his poor judgment and choice has made his adoption more challenging. He understands that to be a part of the Layne family, he must make better decisions. He hung his head, but looked at us when we asked him to. Without having to use a lot of English, we could tell that he was remorseful for his poor judgment. We were sure to remind him that we love him and know that he is capable of making good choices. I reminded him that I know he has a good heart.
He needs a family. A family that loves him despite his faults, who helps him wade through those murky waters of the life he's had in the past and the turmoil he has dealt with. We are well aware of the emotional scars he has and the physical ones too. We will look for help for him as he will need to sort all of his past out and look forward to a brighter future with a family that loves him--unconditionally.
We've seen the tough exterior of the 'orphan' each day we visit. We see the tough exterior that each child presents, the walls that they have had to build to keep the hurt cased inside those protective walls. Attitude abounds in this place. Without knowing the language, you can sense the angered tone in their voice as they yell to one another. Name calling is a common occurrence. To point out one's differences is to hide your own insecurities. Girls flirt and doll themselves up to get attention. The kids with the latest item is 'alpha'. One day it may be the new speaker to play music loudly, another day it may be the kid with the PSP. Kids will tell us they like the orphanage, but I can't help but wonder as I see this teen or that teen walk past the bench where I sit, what he or she would be like in a loving family. We have the chance to find that out with our boy. We have seen short glances of it during his visits to Ohio.
We are going into this with our eyes wide open. I remember last winter when he got angry and instead of yelling or talking about it, he ran to hide. I remember his first visit when he was so angry with me (he was little and 8 years old at the time) that I sat in his bedroom in front of his door, while he fumed, yelled and cried. Doug listened through the baby monitor and was ready to assist at any moment. We know there is much heartache to overcome. Yet, we cannot pass up the chance to help him work though the pain and see the joy that life has to offer him.
We are reminded of a quote by a very insightful man, who lived his life as Christ commanded- to look after the orphans and widows in their distress. Derex Loux was reminded of this during the adoption of his three sons, and said " My friends, adoption is redemption. It’s costly, exhausting, expensive, and outrageous. Buying back lives costs so much. When God set out to redeem us, it killed Him. And when He redeems us, we can’t even really appreciate or comprehend it..."
Some photos from the day. The nuts that were the culprit of my son's black hands. They looked like walnuts to us.
When we asked him what they were, he said "Nuts!" (and looked at me like I was nuts for calling them anything different!) When I translated walnuts on my phone into Russian, he looked at the word, studied it, then put his finger over the 'wal' part of the word, and said, "Mom, see, nut!" Okay, so a nut is a nut, no matter what shape size, or color in the eyes of a Ukrainian boy!
We've signed papers and they are being sent to the capital city tonight via the night train. The papers will be submitted to the SDA tomorrow morning. Please pray with us that the SDA finds favor and allows us to have court early next week. We need to have court by Thursday in order to be at the US Embassy on Friday. Court on Friday would mean that we are here until early next week. I am ready to be home with our girls, then for Doug to return and finish the last details and bring the boys home!
Our little man only lasted 35 minutes this morning before becoming fussy (a quiet fussy. It's sad that he has learned in 15 months it doesn't do him any good to cry loudly or fuss, he doesn't get special attention for it in a group with few nannies), and then a few minutes of Mama rocking him, he was out cold. (In his defense, he typically naps between 10-12, but the caretakers are wonderful to let us come when we like.) I was happy just to rock him and watch him sleep. It also gave the two of us (Doug and I) time to discuss our afternoon visit. After an hour, we took little Mister back up to his groupa room, as the nanny that gave him to us today promptly put up 1 finger telling us we had 1 hour to visit.
We had planned to leave to visit Max at 2:00pm like normal, but a call from T our facilitator to tell us she had to go to the local administration and they would be here to pick us up at 1:35pm. We arrived home shortly before 6:00pm.
On our way out of the big city, we stopped at an official building (you know one of those with the blue metal plaque next to the door) and waited as T talked to someone outside the building. Then, on out to the town where Max lives, and stopped at the ministry building in town. Again, we waited outside while T went in. Then on to the orphanage. I think I was nervous, but the car ride almost got the best of me today...I felt gross! We waited for the kids to get out of class on our normal bench outside the school. I saw Max come out the door, then bound towards us. As soon as he was close, he knew something was up. We took a walk around the side of the building. Doug asked him if there was something that he wanted to tell us about that had happened in the summer. Then, as he said to me tonight, "I had this whole speech planned out, and you just took over....and I was like 'Wow, okay, she's got this handled!"
Max understands that his poor judgment and choice has made his adoption more challenging. He understands that to be a part of the Layne family, he must make better decisions. He hung his head, but looked at us when we asked him to. Without having to use a lot of English, we could tell that he was remorseful for his poor judgment. We were sure to remind him that we love him and know that he is capable of making good choices. I reminded him that I know he has a good heart.
He needs a family. A family that loves him despite his faults, who helps him wade through those murky waters of the life he's had in the past and the turmoil he has dealt with. We are well aware of the emotional scars he has and the physical ones too. We will look for help for him as he will need to sort all of his past out and look forward to a brighter future with a family that loves him--unconditionally.
We've seen the tough exterior of the 'orphan' each day we visit. We see the tough exterior that each child presents, the walls that they have had to build to keep the hurt cased inside those protective walls. Attitude abounds in this place. Without knowing the language, you can sense the angered tone in their voice as they yell to one another. Name calling is a common occurrence. To point out one's differences is to hide your own insecurities. Girls flirt and doll themselves up to get attention. The kids with the latest item is 'alpha'. One day it may be the new speaker to play music loudly, another day it may be the kid with the PSP. Kids will tell us they like the orphanage, but I can't help but wonder as I see this teen or that teen walk past the bench where I sit, what he or she would be like in a loving family. We have the chance to find that out with our boy. We have seen short glances of it during his visits to Ohio.
We are going into this with our eyes wide open. I remember last winter when he got angry and instead of yelling or talking about it, he ran to hide. I remember his first visit when he was so angry with me (he was little and 8 years old at the time) that I sat in his bedroom in front of his door, while he fumed, yelled and cried. Doug listened through the baby monitor and was ready to assist at any moment. We know there is much heartache to overcome. Yet, we cannot pass up the chance to help him work though the pain and see the joy that life has to offer him.
We are reminded of a quote by a very insightful man, who lived his life as Christ commanded- to look after the orphans and widows in their distress. Derex Loux was reminded of this during the adoption of his three sons, and said " My friends, adoption is redemption. It’s costly, exhausting, expensive, and outrageous. Buying back lives costs so much. When God set out to redeem us, it killed Him. And when He redeems us, we can’t even really appreciate or comprehend it..."
Some photos from the day. The nuts that were the culprit of my son's black hands. They looked like walnuts to us.
When we asked him what they were, he said "Nuts!" (and looked at me like I was nuts for calling them anything different!) When I translated walnuts on my phone into Russian, he looked at the word, studied it, then put his finger over the 'wal' part of the word, and said, "Mom, see, nut!" Okay, so a nut is a nut, no matter what shape size, or color in the eyes of a Ukrainian boy!
We've signed papers and they are being sent to the capital city tonight via the night train. The papers will be submitted to the SDA tomorrow morning. Please pray with us that the SDA finds favor and allows us to have court early next week. We need to have court by Thursday in order to be at the US Embassy on Friday. Court on Friday would mean that we are here until early next week. I am ready to be home with our girls, then for Doug to return and finish the last details and bring the boys home!
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